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Scheiss Meister

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Scheiss Meister

  1. Absolutely not. I'm a year ahead of you and have a bucket list of dino museums to visit. The Field in Chicago, the Museum of the Rockies in Bozeman, hell, anywhere with dinosaur bones. I have a piece of dinosaur bone and two dinosaur coprolites on my desk in front of me right now. No, man, you rock your dinomania, no matter what age you are.
  2. A bunch of cowards who were at Uvalde just breathed a big sigh of relief.
  3. You have to watch that. I used to honk at them, until one morning on my way into work I pulled up to pass a car that was weaving around like the driver was really tired. Not into the other lane, but close sometimes, and hitting the rumble strips on the other side. As I pulled alongside I looked at the driver to see what was the matter. It was a fat bitch with the visible IQ of potato, texting on her phone and hollering at the kid in the back seat. She started to drift my way, so I honked. Bad move. She freaked the fuck out and pulled straight at me. I went to the inside shoulder and gunned it out of her way as she nearly went into the dividing barriers. She couldn't have missed by more that six inches, at 70 mph. I don't honk anymore. I just get past them at the first opportunity and put as much space between us as possible as rapidly as possible. Anyone who damn well wants to, that's who.
  4. Damn, I'm going to hell. Again, still, something.
  5. I'd have said, "I need a ride AND ammunition."
  6. Damn, I've been there. I was almost homicidal. The relief from the novocaine, then the drilling, was exquisite. The only worse pain that I've ever experienced was a weekend of dry socket after getting both of my lower wisdom teeth removed. God, I love clove oil and pain killer packing.
  7. The part of this whole thing that is keeps blowing me away is how many Eastern European nations are so suddenly amenable to having German troops on their soil and German weapons helping provide for their defense. We're a long way from where we were when I was a kid in the 70s. I understand why, it's just such a change from what I grew up thinking were immutable facts.
  8. There's a reason for that. As it was told to me, when the boundary between New Mexico and the Texas Panhandle was surveyed, Texas got to hire the surveyors. They "somehow" got 13 miles off, to the west, of course, from the line that they were supposed to survey. It was supposed to line up with the western border of Oklahoma. The current line was used for a while before New Mexico figured it out and took the dispute to the Supreme Court. The Court was persuaded that it would cause too much difficulty to sort out private land boundaries, county lines, and back taxes, so they let it stand. At least, that what I've been told. Now I'm going to have to look up the real story. TL,DR: A state that wouldn't cheat for land don't want it enough. ETA - According to the Texas Historical Association online handbook entry on borders, the western border of the Texas Panhandle is supposed to be the 103rd meridian. The surveying "error" was two miles west of the actual 103rd meridian. Congress confirmed that boundary as surveyed in a joint resolution on February 16, 1911.
  9. Obviously I wouldn't make it long in the Mafia or as a Russian oligarch. Laid out like you did, I can see where possession of a nuke for Prigozhin would be more of a bargaining chip with the West that with Putler. I think that Prigozhin is a worm feast before the end of July, whatever chips he may have. No one in Belarus is going to get in the way of anyone who comes to drink some tea with him, or show him the view from the top floor.
  10. Threats to Pringles' family would help explain his pulling back, but I think that he wasn't able to get his hands on any of the nukes at Voronezh, and that undercut his position, too, making it entirely untenable. Seems to me that even one nuke would be enough of a threat to stay in the game. Then, again, if he had a nuke but no way to trigger it, it would not be much of a bargaining chip.
  11. I don't think that cure would be any better than the crabs. In fact, I'm positive that it would be worse. Crabs may itch, but a sea cucumber digesting one's crotch seems like it would feel much worse.
  12. When I was 12 or 13 the barber I went to got a big tittied redhead to come and cut hair with him in his shop. Her tit massages on the shoulders while she cut hair brought in a huge increase in business. For a young Scheiss, it was a novel and exciting experience. Alas, the barber's wife found out about the new partner and forced him to let her go. Since that time, I have never really liked getting my hair cut. During Covid I started cutting my own hair. About a year ago I was checking the top and back with a mirror when I saw what looked like a small tick. I got my wife to look at it, and it wasn't a tick. A couple of doctor visits later I had a scar on my head instead of the small stage 0 melanoma. Make sure that you ask your barber, hairdresser, or whatever you call your hair professional to help keep an eye on your scalp.
  13. Are all of those private jets headed back to Russia, and Lukachenko back to Belarus? If not, this isn't finished.
  14. "Little bastard shot me in the ass!" Yep, to hell I go.
  15. I'm looking forward to seeing what the orange one has to say about this. I'm sure that Putin will send him some instructions soon. It's also going to be interesting to see what the MTG/Boobert/other nut job wing puts out. Like was said above, there's got to be a lot of concern about paychecks, I mean campaign contributions, in the Republican party right now.
  16. Even if Putin could pull forces from the front lines in Ukraine, Wagner is already far closer to Moscow, and probably controls the best route or routes to get ahead of them. They might try to hit Wagner from the rear, but they have to catch up, first. And then there are the holes/weak points left for Ukraine to exploit. Hard time to be Russian MOD right now.
  17. Probably Uri and Ivan, but not by much.
  18. That's Uri and Ivan all over. All over the grass, the bushes, the road...
  19. Mine sound like a .22 round went off in each. It usually is painless, but every once in a while one will kind of hang up, then pop and feel like a .22 round actually did go off in it.
  20. Southern Comfort, 1981, Christmastime. I tried to fight a hill, then threw up things that I ate when I was 6. I was told by a friend on the scene that if I felt something round and fuzzy coming up my throat that it would be my asshole, and I would want to swallow that and keep it. I had to swallow it twice. That's the most that I have puked in my life. Fuck Southern Comfort.
  21. I thought that the Gill Man from Creature From The Black Lagoon and Bigfoot were going to be continuing problems in my life.
  22. I agree with you now, but he's right about how much it has degraded in the last year or so. I see it at our HEB. Last time we got curbside we got one whole pork loin, not the two tenderloins we ordered, along with two or three random things we didn't order, and missing a couple of things we did order. I'm going in from now on. I'll also add that HEB needs to teach their baggers how to bag groceries. We use reusable bags, including a couple of insulated ones. I have to tell the baggers to put the cold items in the insulated bags. If I don't, they'll put canned goods and boxes in the insulated bags and milk and ice cream in regular bags. And more than once I have pulled bars of soap or raw meat out of a bag with veggies. I have to be "that asshole" and tell them how to bag everything or I'll get food poisoning, or get home with totally melted ice cream. Infuriating.
  23. That puff from the exhaust at the end is the spirit of the car saying, "That's it. Fuck this shit."
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