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Scheiss Meister

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Scheiss Meister

  1. A couple of years ago I was cleaning out a closet and ran across my shoe/boot bag from boot camp. Still had the same tin of Kiwi black polish that I was issued at MCRD San Diego in June, 1979. It has melted and resolidified to the point that it was useless, so I threw it out, but I can't believe that I hauled that around for 40+ years. It still smelled the same, though. Sometimes I'll smell sandy dust and it takes me right back to doing push-ups, sit-ups, and bends and motherfuckers in The Pit.
  2. Damn, that hits hard. RIP, Tina.
  3. Well you and your Grandpa look happy.
  4. Congratulations. I love how in both pictures you look like you're thinking, "Yeah, you other guys wish you were me. But you're not!" Happy Anniversary!
  5. I was watching those balloons float around waiting for some moron to open up with an AK in the heart of Moscow. Disappointed that no one did.
  6. Watching with their thumbs up their butts, apparently.
  7. The actions of Santa Anna and his officers at San Jacinto confuse me so much. Who thinks, "We had a cavalry skirmish with the enemy yesterday, but found out that their main camp lies across the main route onto, and off of, the peninsula. The enemy burned the bridge that was the only other route off of the peninsula last night, thereby bottling my army up at the end of the peninsula. There is a rise between my army and the enemy, so they can approach to within a few hundred yards undetected, if I don't put sentries on that rise. Hmm. Let's not put out sentries, and everyone take a nap. The Texians won't attack an army during their nap."
  8. The Texians wouldn't dare attack during siesta.
  9. Yeah, Germany would never go through Belgium and The Netherlands to flank the Maginot Line, either.
  10. 10 or 20 million years from now that will be an impressive bed of petrified wood, especially if it gets covered with ash from another eruption.
  11. Good idea. Maybe someone will start standing next to him with a different sign every day. Signs like "I'm not with numbnuts ->" or "Look at this dumb motherfucker." or "He was dropped on his head as an infant." or "Kids, this is what happens when you don't eat your vegetables." Annoy his ass to Bolivia.
  12. While holding her head underwater, yeah.
  13. If Ukrainian aircraft bombed Russia, then flew on to land in Finland, Russia would argue that Finland had become a combatant, with some truth. If Finland impounded the Ukrainian air crew and aircraft until the end of hostilities, it could be argued that Finland was acting as a neutral party. I believe that Finland has provided arms and material support to Ukraine, so Finnish neutrality would be a very hard sell. I doubt that Finland or NATO would agree to such a mission.
  14. While it is only a rough comparison, Bakhmut does somewhat compare to a battle with which we are all familiar: the Alamo. There was no good reason for Travis to disobey orders and stay in the Alamo, just as it seems that there was no real strategic need for Ukraine to stay in Bakhmut. Santa Anna could have left a small force to keep the Texians fixed in the Alamo, and Russia could have done the same with Bakhmut. Taking the Alamo did not give Santa Anna any strategic gain other than the boast that he had taken it and slain all of the defenders, just as taking Bakhmut gives Russia no strategic gain other than taking it in a brutal fashion as an example of why to not resist Russia. Santa Anna used his best troops to take the Alamo, taking high casualties and weakening his army materially, just as is happening to Russia's best troops in Bakhmut. Finally, just as "Remember The Alamo!" became a battle cry and inspiration for the Texians at San Jacinto, Bakhmut is now an example of Ukrainian resistance and determination in the face of superior numbers.
  15. I dont think the Ranger is gonna like that Yogi! Well fuck the ranger, Boo Boo.
  16. If you go to that Arby's and they advertise a new sandwich, The Long Pig, don't order that.
  17. This, and they don't want to risk being exchanged back to the Russians in a prisoner swap. They are really fucked, any way they turn.
  18. I have never been curious enough to move toward a burning building with what sounds like ammo cooking off inside. Call me chicken, but that doesn't seem like a good way to live long and prosper. The Ukrainians did fuck up that building, though.
  19. I cleaned ìt up, but you are correct. Got my ass kicked for singing the Fritos jingle, got my ass spanked for saying pinchegringo at home. It just wasn't my day.
  20. You want some survivors to tell the tale. The French sent armed convoys to resupply Dien Bien Phu. The Viet Minh ambushed what turned out to be the last one attempted and stopped it cold. They killed every single soldier in the convoy except one private. He was sent back to tell his commanders what he had seen, and that the Viet Minh intended to do that to everyone opposing them. Dien Bien Phu fell not long after, and the French scurried out of Vietnam, turning the reins over to their suckers, I mean allies, the US. That private's story was France's 'Walter Kronkite after Tet' turning point. Leave one survivor to share the horror.
  21. To quote the kraut in Raiders of the Lost Ark: "Shoot them. Shoot them both."* *This is hyperbole, not an actual suggestion. Never shoot other drivers, no matter how annoying the are. It is a momentary pleasure, and will get you talked about.
  22. I was in first grade in Corpus Christi when that was on TV. Singing that on the playground at recess was a good way to have the error of your gringo ways explained to you be a couple of kids named Garcia or Hernandez.
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