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Scheiss Meister

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Scheiss Meister

  1. A couple of years ago, when I was first introduced to marionberries, I asked if they came with hookers and crack. I got blank stares. I guess that you have to be of a certain age and remember things like that.
  2. It is tough, but please do it as soon as possible and to the extent that makes them comfortable. I am the executor of my dad's estate, and every day I deal with questions that he could have easily answered for me, many that I anticipated before his death, but it was too tough for me to ask them. He would have gladly discussed everything with me, and I think that it would have made him feel better, but I was too afraid to ask. You have the chance now; you won't after they pass. They want to make their passing as easy on you as they can. Help them do that.
  3. In the little village of Alsea, Oregon, there is a café called Deb's. Their hand painted sign boasts "Save your fork. We have pie." If you ever find yourself there and want a piece of pie, get the marionberry pie. It tastes just like dewberry pie, and is absolutely delicious.
  4. Dr. Seuss must be their dad.
  5. "Hey! This big ass hole keeps getting bigger! Let's go stand on the edge and see what happens!" Holy shit, indeed.
  6. Probably, but sooner or later boots will be on the ground to "ensure total destruction of the target" or some other such macho shit. That's when the crazy old guys get a say. It's not the professionals that are scary; it's the motivated, unpredictable amateurs who will get you in unexpected ways.
  7. Don't bet against a bunch of crazy old fuckers with a little training and a lot of motivation. Charlie out front shoulda told you.
  8. I showed my wife the pictures. Her response was, "How did he take so many pretty things and make them ugly?"
  9. I think that he no longer needs his needle valves in his stems. A good Samaritan would remove them for him.
  10. That dumbass has to be in the running for aggiest aggy to ever aggy. aggy is an embarrassment to the state of Texas, and that's saying a lot.
  11. From beautiful Oregon, enjoying nice cool weather - TEXAS!!!
  12. Johnny Bench on my catcher's mitt, I don't remember on my fielding glove. I sucked so bad at baseball, but I really wanted to catch. Instead I was usually sent to right field.
  13. Wasting an entire day at an Airbnb in Eugene while visiting our daughter (no pictures) and son-in-law trying to do laundry. The washer is fine. The dryer takes two to three hours to dry a small load. I didn't drive all the damn way up here to hang around the damn room all day waiting for the damn laundry.
  14. I usually have blood drawn for lab work a couple of days before my checkup appointments. I got tired of doing the paperwork twice in a few days and asked if I could just do it when I was there for the checkup. I was allowed to do that for about a year, then it went back to every time I went into the office. Dammit.
  15. I hired several spies without even knowing it.
  16. I repeat: Horst Wessel.
  17. After I snuck some and had a similar experience, I talked all three of my younger brothers into trying it, at different times, of course. The benefits of being the oldest are awesome.
  18. Texas 31 UTEP 3 289 yards First official play is a screen right that gets called back for holding. This comes after half the o-line is flagged for false start before the first snap.
  19. That there are three Hruska's Kolache shops in Utah, started and run by three siblings from Texas, using the family recipes.
  20. A flat tire in the middle of a long trip. At least I have a good temporary spare and I didn't have to change it on the side of the road in the ass end of nowhere. Still, a new tire was not an expected trip expense.
  21. My time in Cub Scouts and Webelos was awesome. My very short time in Boy Scouts was horrible. A bad scout master can really fuck up what should be a great growth opportunity. He let his sons and their buddies be thieves and bullies. Everyone else could fuck right off. I don't have the reverence for Eagle Scout that most do because of this.
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