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BHMCruiser

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Everything posted by BHMCruiser

  1. BHMCruiser
    Your wife sounds fat too
  2. BHMCruiser
    your wife sounds very very very fat
  3. BHMCruiser
    you are a man I recognize your manliness you smell masculine on the internet
  4. BHMCruiser
  5. BHMCruiser
    "I want a donkey steak. Give me the elbow cut."
  6. BHMCruiser
    is that even cow meat?
  7. BHMCruiser
    Must be Indians
  8. BHMCruiser
    nine of them
  9. BHMCruiser
    It had been a long conversation already
  10. BHMCruiser
    My wife got a "Goddammit that's not what I asked you and I don't care about that" from me last night and for some reason did not warmly receive what was intended as warmhearted constructive criticism
  11. BHMCruiser
    The way I heard it was "So they say AIDS doesn't discriminate. Which is nice."
  12. BHMCruiser
  13. BHMCruiser
    can't divide by zero, Alfred Einstein
  14. BHMCruiser
    What kind of engineer is she? Does she design bridges? If so can you please tell me where those bridges might be?
  15. BHMCruiser
    The show is weird. Some of the stuff is really great, like the Yen transformation scene, the Striga, the fight at Blaviken, and then the Golden Dragon shows up looking like Dragonheart 9: the Search for Spock straight to VHS. Whoever said this was a modern Kevin Sorbo Hercules nailed it. Book: Dwarves are short, stocky badasses Show: Dwarves are just small people who say rude things and do nothing. They're like Triumph the Insult Comic Dog
  16. BHMCruiser
    You mean the side piece who just knocked her up so she has to nail down a sex alibi to avoid a paternity test? Good luck raising some other dude's baby, sucker.
  17. BHMCruiser
    "1000's of pink, throbbing, phalluses pulsate on beach north of San Francisco" In unrelated news, there are also lots of weird fish on the beach
  18. BHMCruiser
    IMO that's been the theme of the Craig Bond's character arc. Each movie has chipped away a little bit at his resolve and left him more human and exposed. I mean that's what Skyfall is pretty much all about. Since they pulled him out of retirement for this one, it would make sense that he's shakier than ever.
  19. BHMCruiser
    Total replacement cost = $1.89
  20. BHMCruiser
    I can't believe you would call her that
  21. BHMCruiser
    Tell me more about Beretta phasing these out. What's that about?
  22. BHMCruiser
    Completely different situation. But I just couldn't put a .270 between the eyes of Sounder the world's friendliest dog.
  23. BHMCruiser
    Everybody I know talks about shooting dogs, but I've never known anybody who follows up. We had a bad dog problem on my family's place years ago. People used to run their dogs all the time and just leave the ones who didn't find the truck. I was fourteen or so and told my dad I would start shooting dogs. I was hunting a greenfield in a stand when what looked like some sort of coon hound started sniffing around the far end of the field. I put my scope on him to shoot him and I swear to God he looked right at me and started panting and wagging his tail. He ran over and circled around my stand a few times and tried to climb up because he was so excited to see somebody. I shot a doe out of the field later that day and when my dad picked me up the dog was sitting next to me wagging his tail. I did not shoot the dog.
  24. BHMCruiser
    She's mad at your FIL for spending money on hunting and she's trying to pick a fight with you to stop it.
  25. BHMCruiser
    Yeah but who has to eat the cracker at the end?

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