Jump to content

RDCanecutter

Certifiably Surly
  • Posts

    13717
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    3

Everything posted by RDCanecutter

  1. Lean in, and make your own fun. Start talking about Federal overreach, and when they start nodding, point out that slavery is mentioned multiple times as a normal thing in the Bible.
  2. My son just auditioned at Julliard today. He already got accepted at a couple of other good places. This was his "swing for the fences" moment. 4 years ago he had stopped playing music.
  3. We here at The Canecutter School do not lower ourselves to discussions of tuition, salary, or curriculum. You know your child is a little monster. We know he's a little monster. The difference is, we are willing to put up with him, possibly. Simply send what you feel is a reasonable gift to The Canecutter School. Allow 4-6 weeks for the cheque to clear, and for our private detectives to conduct background investigations into your particular Faulknerian House of Horrors. If all works out for your child's acceptance, you will realize that when you find the little darling's chambers empty in the morning, possibly with signs of a struggle depending on how spirited the lad is. For the next few blessed years you will know peace, with regular Christmas cards adorned in cursive that we beat into the little savage. He will also learn horseback riding, fencing, and Latin. More importantly, he'll be gone. When you do see him again, you shall behold a creature transformed. You may espy him torturing a mouse, or pushing a beggar off the sidewalk, but it's a small price to pay for the impression he makes at the club. Perhaps you think back to when you were writing the gift cheque, how for a moment you felt cheap, and almost left two zeroes off the sum. Ah, how fortunate that you did not.
  4. Considering that it made you blurry about which month you were there, I believe you.
  5. Donald Trump is a character from 1700s Britain. Imagine a syphilitic rake ensconced in a rotten borough, mixed up in schemes designed to stay ahead of gambling debts, clearing off yeoman farmers from land he never visits so he can cheat the shepherds, as a last resort he joins a regiment but hires a replacement when they leave London. If by bad luck he has to command troops, the sergeants get them to form square while he lolls drunk in the saddle.
  6. You have to have someplace to eat when Chick-fil-A is closed on Sunday.
  7. A Canadian friend who married a Mexican woman found out all about that. Her mom lived 5 hours up a dirt road in Michoacan. At some point his life changed from "parties at the beach" to "drive 5 hours up a dirt road into the mountains err damn weekend." Even better, he got set to searching for the Family Gold that was hidden during the Tragic [insert reoccurring historical mayhem.] So my boy was alternating between metal detecting and pick-and-shovel work, all the time getting watched by in-laws making sure he didn't pocket something. He never found anything, which tells me he actually is lucky.
  8. Second thing is that telenovelas are not fiction, they are documentaries.
  9. So it won't break any budgets if we include it in school lunches.
  10. "You're dealing with lunatics," --my buddy who buys and sells metals full-time for a living. If you aren't talking to at least one guy who thinks the Clintons are Serpent People, and another guy who thinks a base-metal Canadian dollar coin is really silver, you aren't in the right place yet. At coin shops I will routinely let people go in front of me while I pretend to peruse the shelves, just so I can listen.
  11. Red River Cafe still open?
  12. Went I went through, guys were doing all sorts of Oscar-worthy stunts to get out early. Turns out they could have just sat on the floor and not obeyed orders to stand up, and they'd be out. As in, they'd get out at some point after their old training unit all graduated. In the meantime they'd be put on display working in the chow hall NOT relaxing at home, so all the other recruits could see them.
  13. You've always got a small percentage who need to be somewhere other than the military, and who manage to drop out for what looks like no apparent reason. I bet that year, they called the reason "Covid vaccines." Some other year it would have been something else.
  14. It was the scariest thing I knew of before I got it. Now it's kinda like having a pet cougar. @Sbbruin has the right idea, just think of the docs as your coaches and do what they say. A lot of stuff ends up being routine. Best results to you!
  15. I am too much of a mule to get runnt offt, plus I have paid-for houses in two blue counties. Not to mention that my oncologist lives about three blocks away. But if we're all stoned and just fantasizing, Mrs. Canecutter would qualify for Danish birthright citizenship. I think I'd die of boredom anyplace north of Marseilles. I do have a CURP (SSN + hot sauce) and when I mention that in Mexico, people offer me jobs in a kidding/not-kidding sort of way. I could be the tall white artist from the telenovela, those guys always make bank selling giant paintings until they are falsely set up as the knife-murderer of the local chief's son.
  16. Free silver. My Apple Cash account had been slowly growing and I never use it. Strolled on by the shop and did that phone-tappin thang.
  17. In the senator's defense, that room looks like sentient Mac n Cheese. Flight was the rational option.
  18. I made a cup of coffee, grabbed some peanuts to munch on, and took the dog out back so she could run around and take a dump. While out on the deck, bap bap bap I got dive-bombed by bird shit on my leg and shoulder. Well hell. Needed to wash these clothes anyway. Finished the coffee. It had a couple of chunks of peanuts in the bottom. How did those get there? Munch munch. Not peanuts. Some kind of seeds... ...that had been through the bird's guts.
  19. "Señora Flores, I could use some more practice with, uh, 'tocar,' 'besar,' and, uh, I guess, 'amar.'" --Oh Cortacañas, you already know those-- they conjugate like regular --AR verbs. "Uhhh..." --You DO remember --AR verbs? "I guess I'm like a more of a learning by doing type of student..."
  20. Saw some Fox News snippet about Trump making English the official language of the US. I don't know about you good fellows, but I plan to correct the squirting soft shits out of colloquial redneck unpatriotic patois. Loose past participles sink shippables.
  21. I don't pay a big $3.50/month to NOT see part of the circus.
  22. Look at those Electoral vote numbers. Imagine you had the Franklin Mint Chess Set concession for upstate New York in those days, you'd be printing your own money for 4-8 years, especially if you bought up a bunch of farms right outside Atlanta.
  23. The birds are after givin a very specific message to them that knoh who they are and what it's about. Now there'll either be a settlin up or shite will get mental. Anyway it's none o you cunts business is it so fook off wi the lot o yeez.
×
×
  • Create New...