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RDCanecutter

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by RDCanecutter

  1. "The jab." Do they also refer to everybody as "mate" now?
  2. Hope to find out how pudgy little scoff-law drone pilot hands handle Workin All Day In The HOT SUN...
  3. I always get some insurance guys mad at me when I mention this, but last time somebody rammed into us, their insurance was low-balling and slow-crawling on us for months until I called in a lawyer to yell at them. Within about a week and a half we got way more money than they originally offered even after his fee.
  4. What I found, as someone who rebelled against the mincing cinnamon-roll Baptist sweetness I grew up in, is that when you know there's gonna be a prayer, jump in there and lead them in a real prayer. Don't let them start that saccharine "Oh Lord we just wanna say just thank you just bla bla just just just" mess. No. "Let us say the Lord's Prayer." Bam "Our Father, go." (I use my Command Voice, they all jump in, which covers up that I always mix up the last few lines.) Amen. Done, done done. Visiting minister barely had time to peek at a child's butt.
  5. True sometimes, but counterpoint: I am a Boomer and have always impulsively run my mouth, up to and including getting fired. It's the younger folk who seem flinchy and guarded. Probably because they never survived a belt whipping then surprised their Dad by slugging him in the nuts.
  6. "But I thought time and geological processes had stopped!"
  7. Yeah, if we'd just get the Global Warming we've been promised, I would relocate to New England and you couldn't pry me loose with a crowbar.
  8. I'd do that in Texas back when I'd fly in to work for a couple of months. The car rental people were nice to me as I'd bolt on weekends. I don't think they ever got used to me taking their vehicles to Laredo though.
  9. Oof. The best I got is when I drove a Geo Tracker up to Maine in the winter. During my NYC leg I invoked my Inner Albanian Taxi Driver, and it worked.
  10. And then you came out to her.
  11. Just signed up for a second Zoom Gaelic class, this time through the Aberdeen Gaelic Club. This one is in the evening in Scotland, so I'll be sitting in at a civilized 1:30 pm Central Time. 15 weeks for only about 100 bucks. I can't afford NOT to take it.
  12. For y'alls' amusement, I offer a few snapshots from the front lines of cancer/steroids/edema/covid recovery during snow time in the South. First off, I'm wearing a fucking home-made kilt. My legs swole up, and if I put the compression socks on, legs go down but balls blow up like a grapefruit. Then if I wear pants of course the nutsack gets raw from rubbing against fabric. So right before I actually started pumping blood from scraped Balzac, I grabbed a big-ass towel, cinched it up with a belt, and I can walk around the house not in pain or with Mrs. Canecutter helpfully letting me know my balls are swollen up. All hail Clan MacTowel. I don't have any reason to step outside, because we got a couple inches of snow. Contrary to myth, we do have a few snowplows here, but there's nowhere really to go. And you ever hear how a squirrel acts like it's his first day being a squirrel? Replace "squirrel" with "Alabama Driver," and you won't be far wrong. They are gradually cutting my steroids, about 5mg/week. I want to throw all the damn things in the creek and see if 3-eyed fish spawn there, but I understand the assignment so I stfu and comply. I finally figured out how to take better blood pressure readings on my remote monitoring system so the nice nurses quit suggesting I pop into the clinic to be held against my will while Flesh Eating Bacteria roam the halls. That's good. May all y'alls' cancer cells flop back and forth on the floor, and die.
  13. I wish y'all all boredom and positive results today.
  14. So sorta like Church of Christ, but they sway back and forth while mumble-singing over a piped-in Contemporary Worship track that sounds like a Mary Tyler Moore music outtake?
  15. Click back the hammer on the Colt Navy revolver your Daddy used in the Big War, and lay the cold steel barrel up against this slug's head. Let him know "I won't be rentin shit. Your car is my car until my car gets fixed. Now get the fuck outta my new car." Oughta resolve all issues quickly and cleanly.
  16. ^^A man clearly unacquainted with the stark beauty of the once-an-hour Waco bus system.
  17. France is way underpriced. The quality of life there is about 3x what you'd think from how much it costs.
  18. Now you go Old California and build a bunkhouse for your neighbors. As rent, they agree to drive away any officials interfering with construction of the bunkhouse.
  19. This was the Hugo situation outside Charleston where folks wanted to fight the Guard. I heard it second hand from Sakalina guard dudes, but the multi-repeated rumor intel was that you had "Do You Know Who I Am?" civilians attempting to bust through a line of Guardsman so they could personally go check on their stuff. Guard didn't know who was who or fuckall what they wanted to do back there once (if) they checked on their own houses. Got animated.
  20. Somebody might want to go backpacking in Guatemala for a couple of years.
  21. Ah. So you've done business with him too.
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