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RDCanecutter

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by RDCanecutter

  1. Lookin to warm up by the 27th, but of course some showers.
  2. Finally got the car unloaded. My first thought is that if I want to keep doing this, I need to jump back 20 years in time and get a big-boned girl pregnant so I can have a 19-year-old Offensive Lineman on call to help me for "free." Second thought is that I either got snookered or got a treasure. Maybe a little of both. Table's nice, but not near as old as I assumed. OK. But then I google the Henkel-Harris company and find the same thing offered for a highly-aspirational $7K. I have also seen bog-standard pocket change offered on eBay for $99, so I doubt that. Keeping the eye on the donut, our goal is maybe a few hundred profit, so I think I still got a shot. 2 fabric-seat chairs are solid but Hickory Chair Manufacturing Co seems widely available. Seeing as how I got them for maybe $10 each, I like my odds. Three remaining leather-seat chairs seem older, but going off my appraisal track record, wtf do I know? There was a 4th one but her boyfriend sat in it and broke it. I asked for pieces to repair it, but long gone. She says she thinks they were old Sears & Roebucks issues and are plentiful, me I got no earthly. Leather buttons missing on all. I have crafty wife who'll know how to fix that.
  3. Not bad. Extra credit if it's his grandaddy's last name so he's carrying it around like a geneological signpost. His girlfriend will be some variation on Mary Margaret Claire duBose Honeycutt (extra names depending on how short she is.)
  4. Well he didn't get to 91 being no dummih, obviously.
  5. For a serious answer to your original question, looks like your answer is to acquire a bunch of fives, and give 1 or 2 of them out as the spirit takes you. Extra cred if you fold them inside your hand and give them out as a handshake like a Big Cigar buying Bear Bryant another running back.
  6. I ate so much venison one year in college that I almost started rubbing my head on trees. Made some into meatballs for a Rotary party at the International House. Told the exchange students they were "Deer Balls."
  7. I gotta get me one of those binocular-shaped thermoses.
  8. Hit 500 days yesterday on Duolingo Scottish Gaelic. I don't know where this mysterious focus came from-- usually before I'd have fun learning some language for a couple of months, then flit off elsewhere. Thought I wasn't learning much. Then had lunch with my uncle, who doesn't speak any Gaelic but was interested. He starts quizzing me, and in spite of myself I was able to pop off translations for him.
  9. I am no college counselor, but I did used to run a 1-credit-hour College Orientation course when I was teaching. It was ten weeks of variations on "Show up. Show up. Show up." Kid shows up, you got a dinette set. They don't, you got dick.
  10. My Danish mother-in-law's dad was a German who gtfo of Germany between wars, found work and pretty wife in Denmark, and got citizenship there, which saved his life. After the Krauts invaded, and after they started drafting their own people to the Eastern Front, in split-personality Natsy-fashion they tiptoed around the Danes because in their thought patterns the Danes were more of whatever it was the Germans wished they themselves were. Until he got betrayed by an informer for hiding a resistance fighter. Then it was off to Peenemünde to labor in Dr. Werner von Braun's slave empire. Except then the RAF, in all its wobbly-toothed glory, bombed the living fuck out of the V2 launching pads, and also burned up lots of the records. Including my mother-in-law's dad's records. [pause for drums and bagpipes] So then, because the Germans, though shitheel bastards, were very correct shitheel bastards (with Danes,) and no longer had his case on file, They just let him go. They probably shot lots of the others.
  11. And puts the tools back where they fucking go, and doesn't leave wet grass all up inside the lawnmower.
  12. That was my late Danish mother-in-law's standard comment about Swedes. The "Svenska etc" one. Not "Dude, my mother's dead, you prick!"
  13. Svenska djävlar.
  14. It's not their fault you launched into a spree of hookers, pet monkeys, and blow. [serious]Glad you're OK.[/serious]
  15. This times fucking 100. It's a paper bill. You gloried in them most of your life. Now you're just too advanced? I feel like a little side-note. Don't wanna read it, don't. I have run into vendors at shows, people who have maybe 5 hours to hoover up enough money to make it a week, and heard "I don't take cash." (Usually pronounced "cosh," I don't know why.) I'm like you fucking WHAT? This is economic combat, bitch. I take cash, card, Paypal, Venmo, [extend list to every app], Pesos, Euros, earrings of sterling or higher value, like, almost anything. But I guess since you rolled up in a new BMW to set up a tiny table selling artisanal soap for NOT cosh that I am not enough of an advanced being composed only of light to be able to comprehend your sensibilities. Honest unrelated question: do most valets know how to drive stick? Or is there an old guy on every crew who does it? Does he get extra pay? Dude should.
  16. I added 4 hexes yesterday in Montgomery for you, O my Master @bernorange
  17. Nabbed the goods. They sit in my car until I develop the moral fortitude to unload them. Everything's nicer and looks older than it did in the photos. Table leaves are so thick and dense I bet they'd turn pistol bullets. Surprise mystery previous provenance for some of the chairs is an allegedly super-snobby cousin that I don't really know. (Our mutual ancestor was a friendly blacksmith and inventor who was an admirer of George Washington Carver, so of course 3/4 of us now are lazy fucktwits) But snobby or not, looks like she sells good furniture for cheap. Hmm.
  18. Summon all the varlets together to attend to you. Then cast a handful of Sacagaweas in their direction. They'll sort it out.
  19. I just twist back and forth until my wang is wreckin the room like a chimp with a bullwhip. Y'know, in my mind.
  20. Dadgum insurance keyboard peckers have no ideas how actual humans use their hands to do things.
  21. Cool, y'all. Thanks for the chance to take a peek. After I had some breakfast I figured out I better keep this slow-growing and close to home until I get a handle on how to flip things here. Not saying never, just gotta be careful. I have driven from Alabama to Central Texas to make a sale in the past, and may do it again, but I'm not even a Baby Antique trader yet. More like a fetus.
  22. That's me every time I visit San Antonio.
  23. Over-refined carbs are the Payday-Loan offices of the body's needs.
  24. Wishing you some calmer days buddy. May you look back on this as a temporary blip.
  25. Swinging a crowbar ape-shit Somewhere in Louisiana It sounds like 1963 But for nowwww It sounds like heaven
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