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RDCanecutter

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by RDCanecutter

  1. Remember to invest in hair gel companies as lots more operators get security detail paychecks.
  2. There are actually some upsides to catching a whiff of cancer. Think of every bullshit time-wasting obligation you do for people. Get a speck of cancer: "Oh hey. Would love to file the TPS compendium. But I got cancer. Gonna go to the beach and console myself." What helped me the most mentally when I first got in the treatment, was meeting all the mean old fuckers who'd survived 30 years of Stage 4 back when it was stone knives and voodoo rattles. I saw their never-give-up attitude, I truly believe that was a good part of their survival. I thought "I can be a mean old fucker too, yes, I can easily do that."
  3. You're gonna make it, man. The fact that you've put 600K away even with 300k/annual medical bills tells me you've got some hill-climbing gears in that transmission. Good for you.
  4. I just checked my bank account. No direct deposit cop salary visible.
  5. You solve trolley problems by deliberately slamming into the bigger crowd until word gets out and the waterheads blink their eyes and don't stand on the tracks.
  6. Can confirm from college days of budget travel. Anyway, what's the statute of limitations on various crimes that theoretically could have been committed in NYC during the 90s?
  7. The French model rocks. Worked there for a year, got real French health plan. My agent, a helpful communist gentleman well on his way to looking like Willy Nelson, was surprised that I didn't do the maybe 15 Euro/month upgrade that would provide me with a private hospital room. Nah, I was in France to talk to people and learn the language, I wanted a hospital roomie. Had to visit local GP to prove I wasn't a danger to the Health of ze République. (In French fashion this was required after I'd already worked there for months, hopefully not spreading plague.) Doc looked me up and down, and told me that some people were built to play rugby, and I was not. So stop playing rugby. 15 Euros. Mama Canecutter came to visit, fell down stairs, hurt her foot. Hotel called a doctor, who made a housecall, apologetically billed us about 20 Euros because she wasn't in the system, and we hobbled around the corner to a pharmacy where they made the ankle brace he prescribed for peanuts, they doted on her, and she was right as rain. In fact, French pharmacies do lots of consulting that here would require a Doc-in-the-Box. You walk in, tell em what hurts, and they'll lay out a few choices and you pick the one you want. Done deal.
  8. Well, obviously them too. I meant a whole lot of them. Just keep the backpacks on like some encrustation of slime on their hunched-over little bodies. Source: time spent teaching 13th graders.
  9. Probably piling in to claim it like a pack of Flying Monkeys chasing Dorothy.
  10. That's the way kids roll these days-- always keep the backpack on, never take it off.
  11. Not to mention that in the US, you only have good care if you live near certain cities. Birmingham has remarkably good healthcare, as evidenced by my typing here instead of screaming from the pits of Hell. I even have a 15 cent bus from my house to the main UAB clinic if time is leisurely. I hobnob with other patients, people drive hundreds of miles from Mississippi or North Florida, and I hear horror stories about hospitals even 50 miles away out in the counties. Don't get a real illness in Gadsden. All these people flock here, and incidentally slow me down on days when I drive as they act out the timeless drama "First Day in a Parking Garage." God bless em.
  12. It's like you won't even give it a chance to work.
  13. Riding on ten units of insulin at the moment. Not much for some of you but for me it's a good reason to tune my guitar in Open G and be like Keith Richards.
  14. It's going to be lingering infections. I Have Spoken.
  15. Ayup. This might be the first time in this series that I just dig in and refuse.
  16. Things just goin in circles here like a rabbit runnin around a stump. I forget all the reasons, but Keytruda may have popped my kidney on the lip. So to help heal it, they wanna give me steroids. But steroids make me diabetic. Anyway, it's stable. Went to see a GP today I was going to in the Days Before Cancer, she looked at my kidney function, said: "It's not that bad," and ordered me some insulin and a glucose meter. Then I get a text from Oncologist who wants to admit me so they can feed me steroids and insulin at the same time. To which I replied: No. Please no. Just no. I got shows I already paid to be in, when people spend money, hospitals are cold bright and noisy, and I ain't sick, I can give myself insulin or we can do some outpatient deal don't put me in that cold noisy hospital, and YOU KNOW there'll be some busybody hospital doctor who won't let me go until my jacked-up blood pressure drops to some number it hasn't been in a year DON'T TELL ME TO RELAX and who's gonna feed the animals while I'm freezin in that icy waste tryin to relax my ass to freedom? So she said maybe not. We'll see. I am supposed to meet her Thursday inside the UAB mega-complex. Need to go online and find blueprints of the interstitials in case it turns into a game of Escape Room.
  17. Reminds me of my path to being a millionaire in one year via drawing simple $5 cartoons. 800 drawings a day = 4,000 bucks/day, 20,000 per 5-day week. Put in 50 steady weeks, done, take a Christmas break. Don't see why I couldn't start my own elite football school while I'm at it.
  18. Now imagine listening to that everyday in person in College Station.
  19. Throw the ball to Legolas.
  20. Move them dang sip horn-blowers 5 yards back in the stands per violation!
  21. Whoop his traitor ass.
  22. You don't understand the power and money of Aggy. If ESPN defies Aggy, Aggy will boycott them out of existence.
  23. I'm fixin to eat some home-cooked food, let my dog lick the bowl, and then we'll both watch Aggy get another whoopin put on em.
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