RDCanecutter

Woulda been a perfect crime but you just had to brag.

Team Scripper.

This is an ancient video from a couple who traveled through Central America, but it speaks to me. Music by Manu Chao and Cuban Barrio. If you want to jump straight to A Caballo Vamos pa'l Monte, here you go: Earlier version of same song, aka El Carretero. If you've ever crossed a mountain on horseback, this captures it:

Natalia is a force of nature. She comes from French (circus?) people who settled in Veracruz, got kicked in the head by a horse as a child, and just keeps knocking them out of the park. Here is the same song with Los Angeles Azules: Looks like she'll be in Texas in August, according to the notes on above video. I moved to Mexico around when one of her first songs came out, and she was leaping about like a drunk muppet. My girffriend didn't like her because she was "Chilanga," an inaccurate critique that didn't help our relationship.

You got looped in. You're lucky you didn't wake up on a Royal Navy Man o' War circa 1812.

Of course it can, when states (especially Confederate ones) manage to stay fucked up in unique and interesting ways. I wouldn't think of it as a single scale of fuckeduppedness with clear winners and losers, but more like a buffet of many fuckedup yet distinct choices, a buffet with fat green flies buzzing from Mississippi to Florida and back over Bama to whatever part of Ohio is squabbling in a parking lot with West Virginia. A buffet pawed at by sticky kids and sprayed with sneezes by Aunt Rubella. A buffet inside a Golden Corral that was built on a nature preserve seized by eminent domain.

As @Brisketexan pointed out, skydiving exploding midgets riding ostriches have to pay bills too.

Boundaries, set em early.

Plus a secret other wife that he didn't even treat right?

We got married in a tiny side-chapel of the church where we are members and it cost zero. Tipped the priest and cross-bearer a token of our appreciation (had Son of Canecutter deliver the envelopes to them so he could pick up some Blue Heaven smoothness.) Small chapel served as a hard limit to who got in. Meanwhile there was some Bridezilla Burning-Pile-of-Money wedding about to kick off in the main church as ours was winding down. Hell, they blasted the bell ringing through downtown for no extra charge. I oughta stop being a damn heathen and make an appearance once in a while. For the reception we used the side room at the Greek restaurant where we had our first date. Mrs. Canecutter had planned a cozy affair with sips of wine and little bowls of stewed vegetables. I had to jump in and nix that. It's a party. A rowdy party. I want double however much wine we think we need, and Stuff on Sticks, meat, shrimp, whatever, as much as they want. Nobody hungry, nobody sober. Damn it was a fun time. $1500 for the whole deal, for 20+ guests.

Mighta said he was, how would I know?

Sometimes you just wanna roll the windows down and wail about how you're a COWBOY (cowboy) on a stee-eel horse I ride...

I would rather low-crawl across a wet field while completely covered with some sort of heavy rubber truck bed liner than be forced to listen to "Let it Be."

I am not asking for deportation of White People Who Say "Latinx," but not gonna lie, I think it'd be Solomonic justice if they had to move someplace like Mexico and actually learn Spanish before they could come back.

I bet Buddy Holly could have snuck in there.

Golondrinas chose my little house in Mexico to build a nest right by the front door. A neighbor brought her tiny daughter around, who was most interested in the plops of dried birdshit underneath. "Son sus popos" the child said. I had been echando popos all my life but that was the day I learned the word.

So we'd be naming the relatively shallow parts after Trump?

I'm talkin' Spain, Mexico, Tejas, Central America, Caribbean, South America. We'll include Portuguese and maybe the southern half of Italy. A'ight. I sang this the other day in a Mexican restaurant in Gardendale Alabama and the waiter from Chiapas kicked in on the chorus:

I thought you took it out.

Dadgum ol MRI scan man this mornin I tell yew wut mannnn old GOWGAGOWGAGOWGAGOWGA reeereeeereeereeee. Like the worst concert you've ever been trapped at. They have yet to have a specialist go over it and ID every almost-invisible mosquito-fart of a micro-tumor, but Doc says it looks pretty good to his Mk. 1 eyeball.

I can tell you from personal experience, that if you go to a Halloween party dressed as an Arab Sheikh, and you strapped on a machete (because who owns a scimitar in this day and age?) and you run into another guy dressed and armed the same way, do not, DO NOT get in a friendly machete quick-draw contest.

Maine's got too many vampires. I think you and I are the only two who have ever thought about New England though. I also enjoy the Penna-NJ Borderlands, neat little villages every three miles full of people trying hard to pretend they're not mafiosi. Loved it there.

You say that like it's something dirty.

Well shit. I stood on a table in Nasty's to cheer my housemate, a big valkyrie-looking rugby girl, as she oil-wrassled in a big tub y'all had down on the floor. Wait-- I may be brain-damaged-- was Nasty's West Campus? I am thinking about the place on an alley up towards Threadgill's, with Bill the Cat as its logo.

Trump is not in my Top 3 of favorite Presidents, but I think that he and every other former President should be properly armed, in case they ever have to engage in single combat with an aggressive foreign peer. Think AMLO all jacked up on PCP, or Macron with a bellyful of stale wine and Sartre.