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RDCanecutter

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Everything posted by RDCanecutter

  1. RDCanecutter
    We haven't even touched on the poor assholes who work in the gravel pit. I am sure they appreciate trying to eat a Snickers bar with big green corpse flies from the dead animals bumping against their teeth. Much less just trying to delver a load of gravel and there are bleached bones and hide mixed all in it.
  2. RDCanecutter
    At Casa Canecutter we now hunger for an old-school gold Krugerand. Low premiums going and coming. But maybe the main reason is all the late-70s commercials where Dos Equis Men with scotch-and-cigar voices would tell me to buy one. Took almost 50 years, but those ads and slowly working on me. I figured out that I only had to draw 240 extra 4 x 6" cartoons to afford an ounce. We are at 40 this week.
  3. RDCanecutter
    I have more than zero% sympathy with "damn I forgot about those bullets" dudes. Not a high %, but more than nothing. In 2004 a coworker bought some kind of vintage SKS rifle. He was so looped-out goofy about his new toy that he handed out SKS bullets to all of us like cigars at the birth of a child. I slipped mine into a jacket pocket and forgot about it. Until years later when the metal detector beeped at the UAB emergency room as we walked in. "Excuse me while I take care of this," I said to the Birmingham cop. Since I wasn't actively shooting, he was unfazed, and I stepped out and slung the round under the seat of my car. It occurs to me right now that I don't remember if I ever took it out from under the seat. Meanwhile, I since drove that car into Mexico several times. Oh well.
  4. RDCanecutter
    Oh Law, please don't drag my redneck ass into it. I've only been Jewish twice, when dealing with other rednecks who were mumbling something anti-semitic. It was a lie, but it helped fuck with rednecks so I'd do it again. Linguistically, all I have to add is, why isn't it called Anti-Shemetic? Sheems a bit like a shimple shibboleth.
  5. RDCanecutter
    Shot my first gun in a gravel pit. But I was with my Dad and not Kristi Noem so I'm still here to tell about it.
  6. RDCanecutter
    Yes you have.
  7. RDCanecutter
    I see that chart and all that occurs to me is that we older guys should step up our Dos Equis Man game.
  8. RDCanecutter
    It wasn't a check, but when my credit card got hacked, UFCU called the Austin cops while I sat there in the office. Didn't matter where the actual fraud occurred. Once we had a police report on file, they did all the other stuff. But it was UFCU, who suck wayyyy less than any bank I ever had.
  9. RDCanecutter
    Vinny Gambini got away with it.
  10. RDCanecutter
    We had a teenage babysitter who called us shitass all the time. Of course we picked it up and used it frequently. Mom flipped her lid hearing it come from her babies so it became Automatic Spanking territory. Me and my middle sister clued in and clammed up, but baby sister couldn't hold it in. Shitass, shitass, shitass.
  11. RDCanecutter
    Well you've figured it out, haven't you you little hoe?
  12. RDCanecutter
    Confiscated it from an alleged drug-dealing owner? Can't always be a Camaro.
  13. RDCanecutter
    When banging guys they think are billionaires? I could see them forgetting.
  14. RDCanecutter
    All of it.
  15. RDCanecutter
    I am relieved to know she has a fall-back skill.
  16. RDCanecutter
    No need to vorry. All are from Cyprus moy druk. Maybe ve help you too, enough so you don't vorry so much.
  17. RDCanecutter
    I rested all my hopes on your being a ham operator able to bang out morse code and warn the team bus about the washed out bridge when all other methods were down.
  18. RDCanecutter
    No. All they had to pick from were scowling East Texas Box Facers draped in camo tarps. Or maybe those were jackets. For the purposes of this banter, East Texas is understood to extend to the Atlantic.
  19. RDCanecutter
    There was a time when my wife, an occasional marathoner, felt down about her weight. I took her to a Bass Pro Shop.
  20. RDCanecutter
    I like to think that there is a semi-liquid poop pool down at the asshole, so that farts percolate up through it like pot smoke through bong water, except maybe with different effects.
  21. RDCanecutter
    I don't believe you.
  22. RDCanecutter
    We may dislike MTG now, but on some future day when she scoops up a baby from a flooded river and climbs to safety in a tree using only one arm and her toe-thumbs, then we will realize how lucky we are to have her.
  23. RDCanecutter
    I'm waiting for Stormy to describe that her "sexual encounter" was wallowing around on top of Trump for 30 minutes in a vain attempt to get him hard.
  24. RDCanecutter
    Even if they don't result in convictions, this trial and others work as wonderful suppressive fire on Trump. For the uninitiated, that'd be something like a burst of machinegun fire on the general area of the enemy, where even if its unlikely to hit anything, it makes it harder for them to do anything back to you, and leaves you able to move easier. die mothafucka die.
  25. RDCanecutter
    Former Seal sporting a Black Watch waistcoat? He's one claymore away from splitting Gaetz'z brain-pan.

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