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RDCanecutter

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by RDCanecutter

  1. One day Alina's gonna pop a fake titty and fly around the room like a balloon.
  2. His wikipedia shows no mention of birthplace or early life. He's hiding something.
  3. True, but I thought switchblades went better with the 8-armed leather jacket.
  4. It can hold 8 switchblades.
  5. Lotta fancy words to say you're a pirate.
  6. Did you yell at them in English? You have to yell at them in English.
  7. There's a woman broken down in Ohio who might be appreciative of some truck repairs.
  8. Hawaii? Good, add Hawaii to the list of places we invade and annex. And make sure kids learn history and geography in school.
  9. I could speculate about flavorings, but I'll just stop at the ear wax.
  10. When I want to save money, I just use the credit card. That way it's free.
  11. Most "chocolate" candy bars are made out of ear wax.
  12. I like y'all, but damn if y'all ain't some worrisome over-thinkers. So what if coffee and mangos don't grow well in the USA? The USA used to expand, and it can do it again. I'm talkin LAND-GRABS, son. Let all those Marines training at 29 Palms get some REAL training, secure the port of Manzanillo. Then some Army boys oo-rah their way up to Comala for coffee (and some surprisingly good bread and cheese,) while another division locks down the avocado plantations of Guerrero. If the Mexican Military says boo, supplement their cartel bribes to look the other way. Repeat for any other product we desire, Make the new zones "territories" with lenient immigration policies for people wanting to work in them. Mango?
  13. But but we have a house in Cabo-oo...
  14. My hearin's gone, son, so I missed all of that. Got you down as eligible to vote.
  15. This is just the first wave. Most of them will be in their jobs a few handfuls of Scaramuccis, just long enough to vanity-publish a book.
  16. Could your grandaddy vote? Then you can vote, and cain't no outside agitator take that from you.
  17. I thank ye kindly but I move around too much in my bidness to settle down in one spot. My bidness? Tallow candles and fire insurance. This old warehouse, dry as a tinderbox. Reckon you're caught up on fire insurance?
  18. I have no urge to battle past radio station security with my pants around my ankles and my thang whipping around spraying everything.
  19. We're not helping these children if we throw excessive money at them. $5/day is more than sufficient if you provide them with barracks, meals, and clothing from the company store.
  20. Thanks to RFK Jr, Birmingham Talk Radio today is 1/10 anti-big-pharma and 9/10 totally morphed into Organic Hippy Buy From Local Farmers, with a twist of doing whatever we need to do to make the tomatoes taste as good as the do in Italy. I have one eyebrow raised.
  21. This is gonna play hell with the Shoot Yourself In The Toe industry.
  22. Total control of an Empire of Beige McMansions. Whoop!
  23. Britt is Officially Disliked by Magatrons and Trumpanzees because of her Shelby lineage. (Richard Shelby, last human senator from Alabama, who publicly wrote in a vote instead of voting Roy Moore, and encouraged others to do the same. Never mind that Shelby brought all kinds of jobs to the state-- they hated that too.) Instead of trying to act like Shelby Jr., Britt has tapped into a 19th century Theatre handbook on conveying weeping courage fit to rend the audience's heart. Or maybe it's her AI programming confusing all human signals at once. If so, Scary Puppet Loomer best take care lest machine guns and flame throwers pop out of Britt's Fembot titties.
  24. #1 all the way. It's the plan with the fewest moving parts and is direct and simple. (For max funkiness, don't even repaint the replacement door or quarterpanel.) This car has saved a life and deserves to live, and will gratefully give you 300,000 miles if you believe in it.
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