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RDCanecutter

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by RDCanecutter

  1. I would have to look at her sisters. Oh wait-- she was born in New Hampshire. Probably married into the Morrows. Anyway, with 23andMe "You've got new relatives," I have no need for her.
  2. A North Carolina Morrow. No doubt a distant cousin. Yet I feel no urge to make sweet sweet love to her.
  3. I once read a statute that you can't stick anything in a mailbox without a stamp. Something like $7,500 fine for an individual and $15,000 for an organization. Judging from the amount of crap I get I doubt it's enforced. But still, unless the first guy's flyer was stamped, they're both a couple of law-breaking dorks. Seems like thievery in or near a mail box would be a little worse.
  4. OK, this morning I woke up to the lovely Mrs. Canecutter bringing me coffee. I had just been dreaming something about being in Costa Rica feeding kibble to monkeys, so I told her about it. She came back with a long detailed dream that she just had, where something big had happened, and she and I were crossing the country headed west to California, on scooters. Mine was a Ruckus covered in saddlebags. We were financing the trip by selling off our silver to MAGA types with ashtray voices who were mocking us, saying "Y'all used to look down on us for buyin REAL money, now you wish you'd bought more yourself." We still had a handful of gold two-peso coins stashed away. We were on scooters because by the time of the dream they no longer needed registration. We were on county highways because the US ones have cameras. We were going to California because it was affordable. All the jobs had gone. Except for one Chemistry job that she was going to take. Unrelated, she thinks some of her East European ethnic Magyar crew might have been Gypsies who changed to something else in America.
  5. He'd go after that granny just like the Black and Tans he would.
  6. No doubt. That trend has been going for a good 60 years now. I remember "helping" my Dad work on our Impala back in the early 70s and it looked like there was space enough to crawl in next to the engine and take a nap. Then 80s Toyotas were simple to work on, but you had to subcontract a 5-year-old to reach some of the bolts. 90s saw widespread reliability with a last gasp of simplicity.
  7. The only person who deliberately tried to scam me of eBay was a Christian musician. I know because I looked his ass up on social media. Fucker tried to blame the church secretary for not mailing the (nonexistent) package. He mighta had the Church on his side, but he didn't have a tracking number. Win one refund for the heathens.
  8. Be kinda funny if she won, and every opportunistic valet/dancer/bartender tries to romance her for the loot like something out of a 1930s detective story.
  9. I am befuddled why people would want to save money on the gas instead of the car. But yeah, German engineering, love it or don't, do NOT play games with it.
  10. So hubs wasn't getting it done and she was looking for a sugar daddy? Did you take her to Applebee's and let her pick any dessert? Pics? Did she leave crazy voice mails?
  11. On Days of Sloth I'll turn on the app just to preserve my streak as I sit on my ass drinking coffee. Without me moving, it will give me credit for 4 or 5 hexes as it zones in on me. Sometimes I can stretch my arm out and claim yet another one. Exercise.
  12. 1-gallon scooter?
  13. Get together with the other helicopter moms, and all agree to just shove your kids out into the yard and tell them to play. Like, make up a game or some shit.
  14. I think my son was about 9 when he stopped wanting to go to McDonalds. Maybe 10, I dunno. Anyway, too bad 8 year-olds can't vote, they'd love that McD Trump photo op.
  15. And you call yourself Italian...
  16. You didn't tell me we were fightin in a basement.
  17. In the Goblin World where I dwell, I have been tweaking the booth displays for more oomph. Back during the pandemic, I did mountains of small paintings that I could mail for $5. I had a lot of them left when face-to-face shows started back up, and even though they were cheap (40 bucks,) they really boosted my show sales. I was outselling my peers. But then they ran out, and they weren't really an efficient use of time-- I could knock out larger, more profitable paintings in almost the same amount of time. Those sell too, but more slowly. So, short-term, I fell behind my friends, who started kicking my ass in the 20-40 dollar slot. So a couple months ago, I decided to just copy what they were doing-- order a shit-load of 8 x 10" prints and offer them at $30/ea. I used digital images of long-ago-sold paintings. Ordering them takes no time, the only work is cutting mat board to go behind them inside plastic sleeves. Maybe now I can finish more big paintings while occasionally slapping out scads of quick $10 drawings to cover the low end. The past two shows where I sold these prints have been the best two of the year, with the prints doing the work. They cost me about $5.50 each when I order them in quantity, and folks pay 30 without blinking. (If anybody here is interested, they're available on my Redbubble listed earlier for maybe 10 bucks for a one-off. But selling eggs on Malta and all that.) Now maybe one day I'll get a van that can hold wire screens for displaying more paintings.
  18. Eesh. I agree with the snide little liberal guy, but that high-pitched voice combined with whatever the fuck that feather-looking microphone is make me want to slap the shit out of him.
  19. First time in ages I get a wad of cash together, and the shiny shoots up before I can buy.
  20. Damn, boss, that's like Real Art Stuff. Get after it! Post more!
  21. They're gonna start spittin in your jello salad.
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