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RDCanecutter

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by RDCanecutter

  1. Zepol, I am sitting here trying to firm up after 24 hours of diarrhea. It would be nice to meet you, and the girls seem fun, but DAMN if I ate half that much fair food y'all would be able to find me by following the slug-trail of molten shit as I crawled up under a ride to die.
  2. The redheaded child sitting hunched-over at the table has seen some shit.
  3. I believe that my deceased ancestors watch over me, guide me, and protect me from harm. This is why I am fearless and have not yet been killed. They also steer me away from conspiracy theorists and their ilk. Let me hear your feedback in the comments.
  4. I took half a day in Mexico to explain to my teenage students why, if they visited the US, they should not blow their horn at people. They were bewildered, like I'd asked them to stop breathing. Then we had a conversation about how even if the Wayans brothers used a certain word over and over, it doesn't mean you should. Then there was the losing battle to get them to stop saying they ate ham-boogers.
  5. Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe the frat rats start a "Let's Go Brandon" chant.
  6. Yeah I wish. In a crowd of Alabama and Georgia football fans, it'll be even more Trumpy than the general population. The Democrats will either be home listening to "Wait Wait Don't Tell Me," or else getting paid good money to just play.
  7. Spend a couple of years learning Spanish, you can do it if you ditch your English-speaking family and immerse yourself in Mexico City with your new friend(s). Then get a copy of El Periquillo Sarniento by Lizardi, it's the first Mexican novel. Don't get the fucking edited version that every damn Spanish Lit professor doles out to you saying the rest just goes on too long-- NO. Be a DAREDEVIL! Get the whole giant multivolume book and enjoy your picaresque crawl around New Spain. The main character aka the Scruffy Parrot has to be a distant Spanish ancestor of Beavis and Butthead. The unedited work can be had for about 100 bucks. Yeah sure you can't spare a hundred, and you say you're STEM, right...
  8. I was good at art and languages, so naturally one day I decided to go back to school and study to be a Materials Engineer. It was a character builder seeing as I had to teach myself Trig before I could start taking the Calculus courses. Those weren't bad if all I did was study, which I did while sipping bourbon in order to break and rebuild my brain. Calc I was OK because it was taught in the Religious Cult/Drill Sergeant way that I respond well too, but by Calc 3 I was in a ditch. Physics was easy when it was throwing baseballs on the moon, but when we moved on to electrical fields I started drooling. I still had a crow-like ability to make things work in Physics lab, but no clue as to why. Chemistry was fine at first because I clued in that I didn't have to outrun the bear, I just needed to outrun the other campers, and a 30 scaled up to a B. But then I had a lab where we were playing with acid, and my station was next to the sink. The sink where every little bastard in the lab would blast the water full-strength into their test tubes to clean them, spraying me, about 20 times per lab, with diluted acid. Then one day in Calc 3 I was trying to keep up, all the while this one dude was blurting the answers before the professor could finish the questions. I realized then that I had been the same as him, in language classes. That's when I started fading out of the photo of the Engineering family.
  9. We find Mr. Carone innocent because, through no fault of his own, the theme song from Rocky would not stop playing in his head.
  10. Find the videos of Theo Von and his Carney guest. Like two goblins chatting away.
  11. "Coach's" experience with economics: lurch along in mediocrity, associates get arrested over flim-flam deals, Tommy don't. Keep making money somehow.
  12. Almost certainly. If Trump is 1/2 as smart as a dog, or a baby, that still gets him up above 80: (BBCMaestro)"In his seminal 1994 work, The Intelligence of Dogs, he writes that a typical dog can learn around 165 words, and some super-bright sparks can pick up closer to 250 human terms. As an interesting comparison, a typical two-year-old (human) child knows about 200 words. Like a human baby, your dog learns by association." Also, though his speech is garbled, it is generally recognizable as English. Long ago a polyglot told me that you could "speak" a language by learning only 80 words, so long as they were the right 80 words. The fact that Trump can manage a 3rd grade level of English makes me think he's got more than 82. (teachsafeschools.org) "But by this point, they are 3000 to 4000 words behind more advantaged children. Children in third grade at the lowest 25% have an average of 2500 root words, while those in the highest 25% have an average of 6000 to 8000 words." I have a hard time believing Trump could actively use thousands of words. I think it likely that he has a solid 100 that he pulls up and uses constantly, bigly, and then a vast stew of semi-familiar words he would never be able to use properly himself. We haven't touched on this, but I bet Trump, like any other mammal, draws in lots of information from the tone of voice he is addressed in, or from familiar gestures that evoke comforting memories. Perhaps, like an ant, he gets many of his social cues from following scent trails.
  13. Pretty harsh way to disagree with @bolverk, maaan.
  14. I mean, I have my theories, but they're just made-up stories until I do the face-to-face research. And that's kinda like when I consciously choose not to study Favre's name, because I would have to spend part of my life thinking about Brett Favre. But here, I'll throw you a bone: My made-up story: Got off the boat trilling r's like they did in the 1700s: fah-vruh> (waves hand) > ????? > Cut down to fahv > Either somebody saw the written "r" and overcompensated and/or they moved from a non-rhotic to a rhotic neighborhood and just slapped an imaginary r back in> Add in some ignunce = Farrrrrv (fuck if I know, now I am tired of thinking about the man.)
  15. Probably the tortured spirits that follow you everywhere screaming again. I also learned the coral snake ID rhyme. Years later, it occurred to me they could have just taught us "Leave snakes alone."
  16. So you're saying that folks go on too much?
  17. I grew up in Alabama, traveled all over the FL Panhandle and some of the bleakest stretches of Mississippi and Louisiana, and even I was "impressed" by the Conroe area.
  18. TLDR so I don't have to listen to that twit?
  19. WITH ALL THE IMMIGRANTS WE COULDN'T TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN REAL GEORGIA AND FAKE FOREIGN GEORGIA. SAD.
  20. First Hispanic Senator. Hmm Sorta ignoring everybody from 1691 to 1835, you Canadian ball of wax.
  21. Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair! For I have a pension. It comes to about a hundred bucks a month. I got it by working the bare minimum at a private school with an archaic pension plan. Still, a hundred bucks. Not like I'd see that on the sidewalk and just walk on by.
  22. Boredom is not a sensation?
  23. Ever notice how kids used to eat lead paint chips, then they'd take, and usually pass, high school courses that were harder than college courses now? Now you've got almost no lead paint, and it's slack-jaws bloop bloop blooping on their phones, they could look up anything, but this app goes bloop! I'm not saying to drink a gallon of it, but maybe an occasional nibble?
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