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RDCanecutter

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by RDCanecutter

  1. Would be normal for a White Haitian. There are a few.
  2. "FEAR NOT?" So he's a fuckin wizard now?
  3. Text Laura and type the message in Jive. It's kinda her thing now. [Damn I'm slow.]
  4. Assuming that the husband/wife team are relaying the Thoughts of Putin, maybe Soloyov's job (also under orders from Putin) is to argue against it, then lose the debate. Sort o' like a rehash of Hannity and Colmes of yore. Or good cop/bad cop, or professional wraslin. Pick your favorite drama.
  5. He is. He was telling me stuff about my granddad's college career. I knew that Billy McCanecutter played at Alabama for about a year, but I never saw his name on photos at the Bryant museum. Uncle says he was there under Wallace Wade, and played on the same team as Johnny Mack Brown. Granddad Billy told my uncle that he was the "other end," which maybe meant 2nd string? At some point Billy got his knee whacked backwards, and had to stop playing. Family lore has it that the school offered to let him stay on with a scholarship, but Billy said nope, he wasn't there to play school.
  6. Do I get $100 if he's not?
  7. I am going to visit family this weekend, and there's at least one cousin who gets rolling spouting Be Gone Forces of Darkess etc, she considers everything to be witchcraft while sounding like a Shakespearian witch herself. I asked her why she was slipping into faux-1600s English, she said because it was based on scripture. I asked her why she didn't use "thee" and "thou." Silence. It's a fairly big house, I can slip off and hang out with my uncle, who'd rather talk about airplanes.
  8. Most likely suburbanites get rid of everything that toads eat.
  9. We dragged into North Carolina pretty late one night and Bojangles was the nearest food place so why not, just needed calories. I asked them what their McNuggets were called and the kinda huffed and said "Chicken Supremes." A'ight how bout 5 of em. Paid for five, got up to the hotel, they'd put 7 of them in the box. And those motherfuckers are huge, 2 or 3 would be a small meal. We chowed down on a couple each, then flung the box in the room fridge and ate the rest for breakfast. With good biscuits too, for a low price. Would eat again.
  10. That trademark "puzzled but seeking answers" look that she puts on... it's the face of somebody who sat down in the stall and started blasting sharts, and then they notice the TP is all gone.
  11. OK, it's a common misconception that the front of his diaper is shit-filled. The feces in front mostly gets stopped by his cork-like nut-sack, maybe getting about halfway up before congealing in the matted hair and wrinkles. Loomer's job is to slobber on and clean the peen, which is constantly leaking urine. I haven't watched her technique lately, but I assume she laps up the liquid bits first, then peels off the rindy solidified dick coating that must stick to her molars like the hard part of a blood-booger, so she alternates between licking him then trying to dig the green remnants out of her own teeth. After 12 minutes of that, I imagine he achieves climax by peeing and farting, and that's where she gets her chin speckled with dried poo, but she can use the pulsating high-pressure pee (think of water through a small hose) to clean it off.
  12. Here you go. https://turing.plymouth.edu/~zshen/Webfiles/notes/CS130/PythonExamples/click.html
  13. Let me find a flannel shirt and tweeze out 95% of my mustache for the proper dirt lip ambience.
  14. I stayed in today from the drizzle, but did turn it on to preserve the streak. Yesterday my wife was free, so like good geeks we both powered up the app and swept the terrain between us and a local diner. When we got to unmapped land, I let her walk about ten feet in front so the family would earn more coins. Her coins plus Mine plus my cut of hers. On the way back we dorked out, walking on the sidewalk holding hand while leaning out from the middle with our phones stuck far out so as to cut a double swath of hexes. It actually worked. Best part was exploring an alley next to a parking lot. She burst into a frenzy, running a zigzag among the cars. I bellowed at her in my best Faulknerian 1920s pimp style, "Gawn Girl, You make me that munny Girl..."
  15. She said: "I'm Aubrey Plaza. Give me that cat."
  16. Tumor in the head is GONE, maaaaan.
  17. You ate cats?
  18. While this is still going on, fly to Manzanillo and go to this one seafood place I visited. When they come to take your order, Just tell em "No need, I already got what y'all gave to RDCanecutter." No wait. I told it wrong. It was the deli hot lamp fried chicken in that grocery store that abutted that little mall in Colima, Plaza San Fernando I think it was. Except Street View tells me the grocery is gone and there's a movie theater. Now the joke might still work-- in Mexico you can walk into a cinema, plop down 5 bucks worth of pesos, get a movie ticket, drink, and some sort of big-ass hotdog. OK, with inflation maybe budget 7 bucks. Now the enjoyment might be lessened by shitting all over the seat, but they generally have an intermission down there so you can go wipe your ass and then come back in the dark and choose a new seat.
  19. I've been lucky so far in family craziness. We've had a couple of faith healers, except when it's them personally getting sick then it's off to the hospital (and I'm glad, because they were about to die.) But other than that, and maybe an occasional relative going berserkergang and actually killing somebody, nope, nothing weird here. tick tock tick tock
  20. The children who made those shoes may have children of their own, making shoes, by now.
  21. @MaybeACoordinator told me I'd like that, as he wandered my neighborhood seeking critters, as part of a trip winding across several states based partly on Pokemon Go hotspots. He showed me a critter lurking near my front lawn, kinda spooked me. At the time I was rocking a very early iPhone that barely kept a charge, so I never tried it. Between Silencio and Duolingo and actually trying to finish art commissions, I would probably fail the SAN check if I took on another.
  22. Sounds like what somebody'd say who's about to slam Iran up against a wall.
  23. Or training? Or not sent in meatwave attacks? Answer to all questions is the same.
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