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RDCanecutter

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by RDCanecutter

  1. Once Trump fucks up and insults Walz's family, life will go on as normal. Then that night, Walz will vibrate through the walls of Mar-a-Lago and commence to whompin and whalin on him until they can't tell the difference between Donnie and the diaper.
  2. I imagine Walz as the guy on top of the first Sherman tank to bust through the concentration camp gates, swinging the .50 cal around at the SS Guards.
  3. Like an eye-linered yippy dog around a polar bear. tldr: Armies that win wars tend to have good sergeants.
  4. I had a Chevy Celebrity station wagon. Got it for 600 bucks. Ran without problems for two whole years. Muffler was loose so it sounded like a diesel truck. Used to drive around in parking garages and the noise would make all the car alarms go off. Finally sat for several years in the driveway of my Austin shack-condo. Eventually gave it to the car dealer next to the Groovy Mechanics because they'd made me a sweet deal on a 95 Geo Tracker. Loved that Chevy missile-hurtling-through-space Celebrity. The Tracker crossed Mexico twice, survived a collision with a truck one night in Colima, and still cranks right up. /ILikeStories
  5. It's been years since I visited the comic book shop. I should go see how those guys are doing.
  6. Brian got busted on a narco rap He beat the rap by rattin' on some bikers He said, hey, I know it's dangerous But it sure beats Riker's
  7. Harris is gonna go straight through the Ardennes and pick Trump as VP. The deal is that he gets house arrest during her term so long as he never says shit or appears in the media. Nobody will see it coming. The new GOP compromise ticket of Romney-MTG will collapse like a straw hut in a tsunami.
  8. It's maga now. Like e e cummings.
  9. At this point I want Walz for VP simply for the chance to listen to his spokespeople with ding-dang ding-dang Minnesooota accents.
  10. Was Kristi's gravel pit not available?
  11. The one time I saw him, he played for about 3 hours then did a 45-minute encore that in itself was better than most other concerts I've seen.
  12. I need to steal that dude's stuff.
  13. True dat, but they make great sports glasses for stopping impact. My pair stopped a stick that a friend was idly swinging around like a broadsword, just bounced the damn thing off.
  14. Misspelled "Bidness."
  15. Ask them why they are attending school in Occupied Mexico.
  16. Damn. Catturd looks like me if I was trying to play Jabba with no costume.
  17. Lara Loomer definitely says "between you and I."
  18. If I ever get bored I'm just gonna sit here and watch her monobrow grow back in.
  19. The "U" has too much space on either side. That's what you get when you skip all the liberal arts classes.
  20. Trump trying to dunk would be like smashing a piñata full of live sardines.
  21. Pos cuando se va a callar, el chinga-sofás gorducho ese weyyy
  22. Reminds me of a friend who got an accountant job in Haleyville, up in Winston County aka The Free State of Winston as I was first told by a girl with North Alabama Box Face. My friend said if you wore a tie (which he did,) you got treated like the President of France. Anything was possible. Also it took about 11 cents a week to live well there. But then he had a mental breakdown, semi-recovered, then got destroyed by alcohol and died.
  23. I am more of a downtown Laredo type guy. Stay in that old office-building hotel near the bus station, and stroll over to On The Rocks Tavern to hear some punk bands. The downtown stores are bustling, unlike most of Texas US.
  24. That's the damn truth.
  25. Well, if you put it that way, I'll put on my little ho skirt and go walk the strip.
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