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RDCanecutter

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Everything posted by RDCanecutter

  1. RDCanecutter
    Swept away by a fluke uncharted jet stream, our travelers eventually crash-land in a remote Afghan valley inaccessible by land, filled with living dinosaurs and mastodons kept at bay by immortal Amazons still speaking Macedonian Greek and looking both lithe and bodacious in their 1970s' make up and hair styles.
  2. RDCanecutter
    You don't understand the constant woke attack we deal with every day. I was in the post office to mail a package, and the "lady" told me I had to have an address on it, pay postage, and that all these other people were in the "line" in front of me. I was so upset I almost rear-ended a car full of some kind of Mexicans with that Satanic Oompah music pumping out, and people started blowing their horns and telling me to "get out of the way" while I was trying to get the phone number for Border Patrol. I swear I couldn't take all this betrayal and so I hyperventilated and YES I kicked the damn EMT tapping on my window. AM I THE ONLY ONE WITH STANDARDS?
  3. RDCanecutter
    Seems simplest if we turn the extra embryos over to the military to raise to adulthood as Super Soldiers.
  4. RDCanecutter
    Some goob named Thomas Govan texted me with a picture of his post-concussed water head, and text saying he was a Christian conservative... running to get Alabama back on track... and STOP rulings from ultra-liberal judges... Concerned citizen that I am, I asked "what do you plan to do about disobedient women?" I didn't even ask my wife if that was alright. No reply yet.
  5. RDCanecutter
    Who here has not angrily misspelled homunculi? There is no judgement here, brother. In other news, wife just came in from the grocery store with a dozen Alabama chickens, and an untold quantity of future Alabama Potato Plants. Guess I best get to tillin up the back yard to plant them lest we become potato killers.
  6. RDCanecutter
    Also, cremation is corpse abuse, meant to prevent them from rising up intact during the Rapture. Pets are false children and therefore contribute to the non-life of unconceived children by people who dote on their dogs and knit them sweaters. Hell I oughta run for office.
  7. RDCanecutter
    Texas will feel the need to top this. Then Alabama, devilishly creative in rules twisting, will go even farther. Repeat.
  8. RDCanecutter
    Maybe use a photo from before she started melting.
  9. RDCanecutter
    "Franco" assistance?
  10. RDCanecutter
    Back in the 80s a bunch of the drill sergeants at Ft Knox drove cars with cheap Mississippi plates. I doubt half of them had ever been there. There may have been actual laws against it, but would would happen was, one Drill Sergeant with Mississippi plates would give a court house phone # to another Drill Sergeant, and there'd be a nice lady on the other end willing to write down whatever fictional address he gave, he'd send the check, they'd send the plates to where he was at Ft. Knox. I don't know which Mississippi county they were getting them from. Maybe all of them. I like to imagine that there were entire ghost villages in the countryside full of made-up mamas and aunties, waiting for their boys to come home for Christmas.
  11. RDCanecutter
    Geometry and Philosophy, one would assume. OP is a gentleman of antiquitarian refinement with a delicate Pyloric valve. And, in return, you all harass him with babble, like that emanating from that Mynkoff minx when she sits of the floors of coffee houses and argues with bongo players and folk singers.
  12. RDCanecutter
    From my recon (glancing at a map while on the shitter) it doesn't look like road maintenance is a huge item in the Guyanese budget, or that there are enough towns and farms for an invader to live off the land. So how are a mob of Venezoluchos even supposed to move or eat, especially once all the unknown spiders and insects and trained monkeys with poison dart blowguns start swarming? I predict they grab a couple of oil wells walking distance from their own border, then it stalls out. And for the umpteenth time, it's sad-funny when military juntas try to grab land because Spain once claimed it. Bitch you ain't part of Spain.
  13. RDCanecutter
    Saying "sore-y, sore-y" as they thrash about covered in fire ants, scorpions, and grackles.
  14. RDCanecutter
    Texas has already seceded from Mexico and from the US. The only artistically viable remaining secession is from Canada. This will of course require a stealthy unification with Canada first, otherwise secession would be chest-thumping play-action. But my people inform me that it has been underway and is nearly complete. I almost feel sorry for those Canadians, but they are fools, such trusting fools.
  15. RDCanecutter
    If we were so lucky as to have the same brains as people 80,000 years ago, we'd be some bad-ass quick thinkers. Instead, we have mushy extra-food lay-around-and-get-fed anyway brains. It's like comparing wolves to puppy videos. We've relapsed to something that would have been left on the ice back then.
  16. RDCanecutter
    It's like he knows everything.
  17. RDCanecutter
    tldr
  18. RDCanecutter
    I took the mock-up LSAT and did fine, but when I saw actual lawyers they were all getting drunk, but not fun-drunk, like, way-too-tight-tie-cinched-up drunk, and the young ones were mechanically, seriously drinking, trying not to slip up in front of their drunk elders. So I said fuck it and went for the $$$ of t-shirt design.
  19. RDCanecutter
    Is it really a bet when we both know the answer? She don't need shoes noways.
  20. RDCanecutter
    It's the UK innit. They don't have the sperm freedoms like we do. Plus they assume everybody's going on the dole (pronounced Doe-oo) and this will mess up Form QBX1234xy and the poor kid will starve like Marvin won't he.
  21. RDCanecutter
    Forgot to take any. I was there to visit my brother's girlfriend, not to talk to Daddy Inbreed.
  22. RDCanecutter
    An X for the first one? Missed opportunity. Talk her into letting you tie her up, then you take a shit in the MAGA bag. Go down to the bar, have a beer, charge it to her room.
  23. RDCanecutter
    First time I was in the Conroe area, I met a dude who confided that he was donging his own daughter-in-law. Nothing coming out of Conroe has since changed my initial impression.
  24. RDCanecutter
    And his costar Tom Wopat, born in Lodi Wisconsin. Which is cool. Lots of northerners ditch the snow, even if most of them don't film Necksploitation TV. But you'd think there'd be some internal editor, for such a good ol' boy.
  25. RDCanecutter
    You and everything you own would look like a wool sweater left out at a moth farm.

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