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RDCanecutter

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by RDCanecutter

  1. Harris is gonna go straight through the Ardennes and pick Trump as VP. The deal is that he gets house arrest during her term so long as he never says shit or appears in the media. Nobody will see it coming. The new GOP compromise ticket of Romney-MTG will collapse like a straw hut in a tsunami.
  2. It's maga now. Like e e cummings.
  3. At this point I want Walz for VP simply for the chance to listen to his spokespeople with ding-dang ding-dang Minnesooota accents.
  4. Was Kristi's gravel pit not available?
  5. The one time I saw him, he played for about 3 hours then did a 45-minute encore that in itself was better than most other concerts I've seen.
  6. I need to steal that dude's stuff.
  7. True dat, but they make great sports glasses for stopping impact. My pair stopped a stick that a friend was idly swinging around like a broadsword, just bounced the damn thing off.
  8. Misspelled "Bidness."
  9. Ask them why they are attending school in Occupied Mexico.
  10. Damn. Catturd looks like me if I was trying to play Jabba with no costume.
  11. Lara Loomer definitely says "between you and I."
  12. If I ever get bored I'm just gonna sit here and watch her monobrow grow back in.
  13. The "U" has too much space on either side. That's what you get when you skip all the liberal arts classes.
  14. Trump trying to dunk would be like smashing a piñata full of live sardines.
  15. Pos cuando se va a callar, el chinga-sofás gorducho ese weyyy
  16. Reminds me of a friend who got an accountant job in Haleyville, up in Winston County aka The Free State of Winston as I was first told by a girl with North Alabama Box Face. My friend said if you wore a tie (which he did,) you got treated like the President of France. Anything was possible. Also it took about 11 cents a week to live well there. But then he had a mental breakdown, semi-recovered, then got destroyed by alcohol and died.
  17. I am more of a downtown Laredo type guy. Stay in that old office-building hotel near the bus station, and stroll over to On The Rocks Tavern to hear some punk bands. The downtown stores are bustling, unlike most of Texas US.
  18. That's the damn truth.
  19. Well, if you put it that way, I'll put on my little ho skirt and go walk the strip.
  20. tldr: no and no. If you're bored and still hanging around: Queen Bee is living life, and now that I don't have to interact with her brain worms, we get along fine. I have very little contact with that club other than bumping into friends at shows, and one woman I convinced to study Scottish Gaelic, because that is what one does. Witch and/or a dozen other nice friendly art show women: my wife says she likes it when other women flirt with me, with the unstated message that if I fool around, I will be living in a muddy ditch eating baloney sandwiches. The first time I met her, she told me how she destroyed her cheating first husband using private detectives, the best divorce lawyers (one that she hired, and a lot more that she "consulted" so they couldn't work for him,) and of course the divorce papers that she delivered to him after midnight at his girlfriend's apartment. So no.
  21. I applaud Drumpf's interest in authenticity even though it will cost a ton of money to reprint every sign and tshirt in his true name.
  22. What? You just leave her urn sitting out for ash thieves? Whatever happened to setting out a bait urn? Urn security 101 dude.
  23. More than one six-pack at a time? In Levittown I had to ritualistically buy one, then walk back a few steps to hand it to my wife, then I could go back to the counter and buy the second. No big deal, I thought it was kinda funny, which managed to get the clerk more pissed off at me.
  24. Like vegetarian cross-fit pilots for Trump.
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