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RDCanecutter

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by RDCanecutter

  1. Bounty jumper! GG-Granddaddy Canecutter was a spy. Meaning probably more like a freelance scout. One day, up a tree with his horse tied up deeper in the woods, a Union patrol rode up and camped right below him. All night. He had to figure out how to pee silently against the tree, but he was a spy! Nobody saw him. Next morning they rode off, and he no doubt climbed down and puked, shit, and went blind. A while later he became a super-duper spy as in he vanished from the Confederate ranks as well. Stealthy, like. Climb your own damn trees, sir.
  2. I mean... if that's the girl..? You can leave my fingers intact, and they will never wander towards her sacred body.
  3. Elon's got naked dead-girl live-boy pics of all of them.
  4. Time well spent.
  5. Vance as Lurleen Wallace.
  6. Unfortunately the answer seems to revolve around whether you look Mexican-American (possibly get fucked with) or Euro-American (they want to sell you stuff but they don't need your senator fucking with business.) Yeah I know about the blond dude that cult killed. I don't really like Matamoros because I don't know it well, plus it seems sticky. Nuevo Laredo is usually where I cross. My first moves are usually: Buy a bottle of water from a drug store*, then find some dude looking to "guide" me (there he is, right on time,) I'll ask him to take me where they sell comic books (because I know exactly where the kiosk is, a little further in by the park.) I walk to this known spot with my guide/keeper-away-of-other-guides, thank him, ask him to please accept this 20 pesos already in my shirt pocket, then I dawdle, looking at old magazines and comics. Next up is to tip the halcones, who I suppose include the newspaper sellers and shoe-shiners. Have some polite interactions with them and a reasonable tip for a paper and a shine. Then maybe a stroll on Guerrero (?) to the nearest bus station. Stay tf outta bars or any place with girls outside yelling for me to come in. Find a really nice tour bus that has paid its dues to the cartels, and float in luxury to Monterrey. *dates back to my first visit to Mexico. Without the bottle, I am a hapless tourist wearing a sign that says "come annoy the shit out of me because of course I need 40 new hammocks." With the bottle (properly swinging inside the plastic bag) I don't know why, but the interactions suddenly change to normal.
  7. Stopping fentanyl is no doubt one reason those Mexican National Guard troops will be on the border. The main reason, if I guess right, is to have some units already in place just in case some American wants to go filibustero. Who am I kidding-- Trumpkins are scared if a car drives by playing Mexican music. They are not simply walking into Mordor Matamoros.
  8. When I'd read about the Spanish invading Mexico or Peru, sure there were some fights, but there were also stretches where the locals would just watch them come on in, doing little or nothing to stop them. I always wondered how that happened.
  9. I know things are moving fast, and I'm a multiply-concussed type of guy, but did I completely miss an Austrian Archduke getting shot or something?
  10. Too soon? Dunno. Slowly digging out long-abandoned beds in the rolling vastness of our back 1/3 acre. Very grassy, haven't planted there in 4-5 years. Idea is to then mix in black dirt from where I pile the dead leaves. I like to plant peppers, okra, and cherry tomatoes. Okra and peppers don't get messed with much by critters. Cherry tomatoes do, but they still leave plenty for me. For this year I hope to attain the dream of setting up stakes and cross-pieces like a giant model Man o'War, and let the tomato vines be the rigging. Going very slowly, partially to keep from jumping the gun and planting too soon, partially so I unfeeble my muscles at a non-painful rate.
  11. I joined Tribe Costco a few days ago. After going through belt-fed cheap tents at art shows, I sprung for one at Costco that's more expensive, but if properly described, better quality all around. It's wending its way around the tri-county listening area. We shall see.
  12. These poor fuckers are still trying to reason with Godzilla.
  13. Back during the Buy Moron project, I picked up WMT, MCD, and HOG specifically for that. Sold HOG when it went up 70%, kept the other two.
  14. There's almost a mental forcefield around UAB that keeps the banjos at bay. And by banjos, I don't mean actual banjos, which are cool as hell. I mean auto-tuned hot-pants cold-beer dirt-road mah-truck. Even a routine visit feels like just walking around a normal city, but off in the distance you'll hear raptors testing the perimeter. At this point, if it goes down, I feel like my best move is to sit up in bed, Jim Bowie style
  15. I forget who posted the link of Abbot boasting about how Texas' economy is bigger than Mexico's, so Bring It ONNN, Mesco! Stuff like that has gotta be good for a 30% popularity bump for Sheinbaum. Further, regardless of the numbers, if they frame it as a Texas-Mexico trade war, OK. I predict Mexico could lose ten times the money and it'd be Texas that'd be the first to howl. Meanwhile in Alabama we'll have Katie Britt licking up whatever oozes out of Tuberville's ear, the car factory gridlock will be because of Woke Ghey Outside Agitators, and we'll probably accidentally make money off pulpwood shortages. So damn glad that years ago I intentionally bought lots of stocks that cater to stupid people.
  16. Frog and scorpion.
  17. There's that Northern Ohio "Tasker Avenue" accent. "That is the pure un-diluted Northern Cities accent. There's an article I read about how field linguists find speakers of that accent, by writing down the name of a nonexistent street, "Tasker Avenue," and asking people if they know where it is. When you hear them repeat "Tyasker Ee-avenue?" you know you've got a live one."
  18. Oh, Boss, I didn't say that. I just don't wanna swing it at sugar cane.
  19. I was gonna redo the deck. Might just replace the two worst planks. Lot less work, then I could lay about drankin on-sale whiskey.
  20. "Yeah but you're fucking crazy" is something I have actually said to conspiracy thumpers. It doesn't change a thing, but it's fun to say.
  21. no no No No NOOO for the fiftieth time I am NOT taking the dang machete out into the dang field for "exercise..."
  22. Across from the depot.
  23. Round Rock
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