RDCanecutter

Probably half of em are your 4 cousins on multiple sides. Bringez le banjo.

Chili John's of California. Bet it's a Chili's knock-off and you can still damage your stomach there. 2018 W Burbank Blvd, Burbank, CA 91506

Alsace. Yeah, it's white wine but since y'all don't drink, no harm. Plus, lots of country folk in Alsace (no muthuhfuckuhs I'm not talkin about Strasbourg and your fancy friends there who speak great French I'm talkin country folk) speak Alsatian (think: Cajun German) as their first language, so their French is slower and choppier, exactly like an Anglophone American learning French. So you're halfway there. Plus mucho beer everywhere, mountains to hike on, and tarte flambée. Goot Got Yawl.

Yes, becoming an enslaved child laborer also works wonders!

Thank you for your service.

Seriously, on the France stuff, if you want to learn French just move to a medium-sized city and go out and drink a lot. It's possible to learn it in Paris but it's harder because there are so many people from all over in Paris, you could spend a year there speaking English or Spanish or whatever. Medium-sized French city will still have more culture and history than most of America, and housing costs are about half of Germany or the UK. Trains/buses are the best imho. To jump start you, here are 4 useful phrases: Ce n'est pas de ma faute it's not my fault Je l'ai trouvé comme ça I found it like that Je n'ai rien touché I didn't touch anything C'était déjà cassé It was already broken

I had you pegged as older than that.

You a Brookwood Baby? I probably live in your old house. Tell me-- where did you bury the vintage action figures?

Dude I've got one kidney and I don't wanna die.

I have 3 Birmingham-area Chili's to choose from. All are in paved-over hellscapes. Help me choose. From closest to farthest: 1. Homewood, "Wildwood Centre", which is no longer wild, wooded, and never was a "centre". I was last inside this one maybe 15 years ago and ordered at the bar where they didn't try to give me that sticky flashing touch-screen. Homewood is mildly blue but who knows what will drag into a Wildwood Centre Chili's. 2. Fultondale, Northside of Birmingham in the Forever 1978 suburbs. The Chili's is perched out over I-65 and will no doubt be full of people from Florida or northern states fleeing homicidal post-election mobs. Years ago at a nearby shopping center my suspiciously ethnic wife felt that she was receiving glares from the Pinkfolk. West Virginia starts about ten miles north of this one. 3. Trussville, Northeast of town, at the bottom end of a massive parking lot of a mall and across the street from a graveyard. An odd burb that went from "country village" to "let's park our money here" inside of 20 years. I went to an art show there a couple years ago and it's a place where you can tell they want art, but at the same time they're kinda pissed off about it. Many of the men look like Barney Rubble.

I disagree. Staten Island is exactly where you should go, with drummers drumming and pipers piping. Get your hair done up first in one of those Insane Sicilian Duchess pile-up do's so that you command obedience. Whip Staten Island into shape.

Because that's where the money is.

That's the guy with the mop who hisses at H.I. McDonough during the prison scene.

That might be what the kid's grandad would say. I suspect his dad would give him anything he wants, after going out to the truck in his Oakleys to make a video about it.

Seeing as how it's still going on, sure! I told you not to put spy cameras in my back yard, you bastid.

And the olds know how to use tools, weed gardens, and drive a stick.

I dunno. I know one Stein voter and he's an impossibly smug individual addicted to counter-productive quests for perfection. I keep him around because he's spent money on stuff I sell./GoblinLife

Southern plantations knew how to grow stuff.

Those bolded two were said to fuck with the cameraman.

I bought McDonalds stock years ago for a similar reason. Actually no. I bought it because people with sticky kids will keep going there. Now I'm living off the fat of the land.

And coup de grace. For l'amour de dieu, it's "koo duh grahSSS," not "koo duh grAH." You say koo duh grah it means you whacked somebody with a slab of fat. Now go away, or I will taunt you a second time.

They have crazy people in France too.

Maybe less talking, and more bustin out an ass-whoopin on him. I mean, we got nothin but lawyers.

1.2 millones Papi.

He toys with them until he grows bored, then sends them away to their telenovela madness.