Everything posted by Dnaguy
-
Butt Fumble Guy in Critical Condition
Not the same but similar-ish. Year into college during summer break, drinking on a friend’s slam piece’s dock. We’re beer drunk, not liquor sloppy, but still drunk. I head out a little early bc I have to work the next day. I shouldn’t have been driving but Uber wasn’t a thing. Tell a buddy to leave his van (he was rocking his family’s Astro) and just come home and crash with me. He says no. I then tell him to follow me and crash with me. He’s says he wants to stay longer and get the van home. I wake up to 10 missed calls and a VM. His mom left it. “DNAfriend was in an accident. The van is totaled. He’s in the hospital” My heart sinks. Not only do I think about him being in the ICU with a tube in his throat, or him hurting someone else, I naturally think ‘oh fuck we are all going to be be majorly fucked and so will I as I scored the beer with my fake. Oh shit. Oh shit oh shit. Then his mom calls. I answer. “DNAfriend is ok and coming home.” Me: [huh, how TF is he not in jail…..] Good! Friend Mom: [garbled talking bc I’m in my own head] …. Got a DUI. Me: [Snaps back into consciousness] He did?! Really?! Her: of course. He was like twice the legal limit. Me: [confused] Are you sure? That’s crazy. There’s no way. Her: Yes, the other driver was so drunk he didn’t know where he was when the police came. That sonofabitch is lucky he’s locked up or I would be on way to kill’em. Me: So DNafriend is ok? Her: He’s resting, has glass still imbedded in his arm and is super sore. ….. Later when visiting him I find out that he only stayed a little longer. He knew he was drunk but figured he’d driven way worse. He was stopped at a red light and when it turned green he started to go when a flash of headlights from a F250 blinded him. Just before that and at the light he picked up the basketball he had rolling around the floorboard of the passenger seat and placed it on his left side kind of wedged between him and the door bc it kept rolling around and bothering him. The F250 hit him directly in the driver side door. Next he remembered waking up upside down in the van in the opposite side of the road’s ditch. Then the next memory was waking up in the hospital. Van looked like a coke can when you miss your mark trying to flatten it. To this day I don’t know how he lived. Being 19-20 helps. But I also have to figure being drunk may have also saved him too. That and the basketball maybe. The impact ruptured that thing. It had a split down the middle of it when I later saw it. It’s crazy. I guess they didn’t suspect him bc they never ran a blood test for alcohol or drugs. He was < 21 so even a little trace would have gotten him in deep shit. I hadn’t thought about that in years. We’re still friends to this day. Good dude. Successful. Better to be lucky than good sometimes man.
-
Butt Fumble Guy in Critical Condition
This is why I come to this site…..
-
Dumbass Shit We See On Facebook
- Dumbass Shit We See On Facebook
Small nostril piercing =/= septum piercing An earring that is covered by hair =/= tribal tramp stamp. Regardless, We all have a diminishing fuckable window so whatever gets your goat my friend. Tats, piercings, or not; we’ll all hopefully look equally like shit when we are old and wrinkly because the alternative is even worse as worm food.- Dumbass Shit We See On Facebook
Only one of those issues is permanent like a tattoo….. But didn’t they invent the birth control patch in the 2000’s to both literally and figuratively cover both of those issues?- Butt Fumble Guy in Critical Condition
Don’t you even ‘Thoughts and Prayers.’, bro?!- Dumbass Shit We See On Facebook
Just like Arch, looks rushed. Can’t read.- Dumbass Shit We See On Facebook
Fun fact, they pretty much all are. Open sign? Check. Blacked out or covered front glass? Check. No one staffing the front when you walk in? Check. Or so I’m told.- Dumbass Shit We See On Facebook
1980’s: Rose boob tattoo 1990’s: Tasmanian devils. / cartoon characters 2000’s: Tramp stamps and tribal art 2010’s: finger tattoos / forearm tattoos / upper back tattoos 2020:s: Under boob tattoos (My educated guess) Now think back to prior decades. Are those cool? Exactly. And septum piercing are gross and weird. Why do you want to look like the bull from the bugs bunny cartoons? How is that hot? /old Millenial- Dumbass Shit We See On Facebook
- Caldwell should starts
Did Keontez Lewis get married last week?- Dumbass Shit We See On Facebook
Very rude indeed- The Texas Tech Red Raiders at The Houston Oilers (ESPN)
Big 12 may want to reconsider their decisions to plaster their logo all over their shittiest resource…. Their refs. My gawd is their anything more Big12 than that though?- Dumbass Shit We See On Facebook
This. Too much work. I guess Taco Bell. Jesus this is like trying to pick from this come 2 am….- Texas vs. Florida- 2:30pm on ESPN
- Texas vs. Florida- 2:30pm on ESPN
- Texas vs. Florida- 2:30pm on ESPN
- Texas vs. Florida- 2:30pm on ESPN
- Texas vs. Florida- 2:30pm on ESPN
- Texas vs. Florida- 2:30pm on ESPN
- Texas vs. Florida- 2:30pm on ESPN
- Texas vs. Florida- 2:30pm on ESPN
- Texas vs. Florida- 2:30pm on ESPN
- Texas vs. Florida- 2:30pm on ESPN
- Texas vs. Florida- 2:30pm on ESPN
- Dumbass Shit We See On Facebook
Football ...
Basketball ...
Baseball ...
Other Sports ...
Futbol ...
🤫995🤫 ...
Gambling ...
Movies & TV ...
Music ...
Hobbies ...
Lulz ...
Food & Travel
...
Daily Texan ...
Business & Markets ...
Cloak Room ...
Help ...
For Sale ...
Board Discussion ...
Advertise...
Tailgate Donations
Back to top