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PencilPusher

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Everything posted by PencilPusher

  1. eorge : Yeah. No, no, no, wait a minute, I always have tuna on toast. Nothing's ever worked out for me with tuna on toast. I want the complete opposite of on toast. Chicken salad, on rye, untoasted ... and a cup of tea. Elaine : Well, there's no telling what can happen from this. Jerry : You know chicken salad is not the opposite of tuna, salmon is the opposite of tuna, 'cos salmon swim against the current, and the tuna swim with it. George : Good for the tuna. ( A blonde looks at George ) Elaine : Ah, George, you know, that woman just looked at you. George : So what? What am I supposed to do? Elaine : Go talk to her. George : Elaine, bald men, with no jobs, and no money, who live with their parents, don't approach strange women. Jerry : Well here's your chance to try the opposite. Instead of tuna salad and being intimidated by women, chicken salad and going right up to them. George : Yeah, I should do the opposite, I should. Jerry : If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right. George : Yes, I will do the opposite. I used to sit here and do nothing, and regret it for the rest of the day, so now I will do the opposite, and I will do something! ( He goes over to the woman ) George : Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice that you were looking in my direction. Victoria : Oh, yes I was, you just ordered the same exact lunch as me. ( G takes a deep breath ) George : My name is George. I'm unemployed and I live with my parents. Victoria : I'm Victoria. Hi.
  2. JERRY: So what happened with Kramer's mother? GEORGE: It's all worked out. Nina and I will have dinner Thursday at the restaurant where Babs works. JERRY: What's she like? GEORGE: Oh, she's a Kramer. And uh, while I was there I uh happened to pick up another juicy little nugget about our friend. ELAINE: Ah, I'm ready what? JERRY: What is it? GEORGE: I uh got the first name. ELAINE: You found out Kramer's first name? GEORGE: That's right. You ready? JERRY: We've been trying to get it out of him for ten years. What is it? GEORGE: Cosmo ELAINE: JERRY: Cosmo? GEORGE: Cosmo ELAINE: JERRY: Cosmo - all laugh - ELAINE: Cosmo, Cosmo? Kramer enters KRAMER: What's so funny? ... wha? ELAINE: COSMO? KRAMER: All right, OK So you the name now. The cat is .a a a .. out of the bag. J; Well I got to hand it to you. You did a hell of a job keeping it a secret all these years. ELAINE: It's not such a bad name. KRAMER: Well you know all my life I've been running away from that name. That's why I wouldn't tell anybody. But I've been thinking about it. All this time I'm trying not to be me. I'm afraid to face who I was. But I'm Cosmo Jerry. I'm Cosmo Kramer. And that's who I'm going to be. From now on that's who I'm going to be. I'm Cosmo!
  3. Take the over on Texas and K State Tempted for the under for OSU.....seems like this is their rebuilding year and when Gundy has them, they are rough. Baylor at 5 seems egregiously high but their non conference slate is Charmin soft. Still hard to see which 3 wins in conference they get (assuming they lose to Duke in non-conf). KU at 3 seems no worse than a push
  4. Here's my map. Basically haven't been to any part of New England other than Massachusetts, Ohio, West Virginia, Idaho, the Dakotas, Wyoming, Idaho, Oregon, and Alaska. By my count, I have hit 36 of 50 states.
  5. Poison you say.......
  6. George: Listen to this. Marcy comes up and she tells me her ex-boyfriend was over late last night, and "yada yada yada, I'm really tired today." You don't think she yada yada'd sex. Elaine: (Raising hand) I've yada yada'd sex. George: Really? Elaine: Yeah. I met this lawyer, we went out to dinner, I had the lobster bisque, we went back to my place, yada yada yada, I never heard from him again. Jerry: But you yada yada'd over the best part. Elaine: No, I mentioned the bisque.
  7. It was a million to one shot doc........million to one.
  8. Ask and ye shall receive
  9. Kramer: Yeah, I'm here to pick up my new plates. My name is Kramer. Cosmo Kramer. Clerk: Kramer.... [checks computer] All right... Kramer: All righty... Clerk: Sign right here, please. [hands over clipboard] Kramer: [signs it] Okay. [The clerk hands him a manila envelope]. Thanks. [opens up the envelope] Assman? Oh, no, these don't belong to me. I'm not the Assman. I think there's been a mistake. Clerk: What's your name again? Kramer: Cosmo Kramer. Clerk: [checks computer again] Cosmo Kramer. You *are* the Assman. Kramer: No! I'm not the Assman. Clerk: Well, as far as the state of New York is concerned, you are.
  10. I think we are speaking to different levels of integrity here. - The crew of the 2015 OK State game - incompetent - definitely, somehow personally biased against Texas - one could make the argument. However, I am 99.9% sure that the Big 12 office did not pull the officials aside before the game and say under no circumstances can Texas win this game. The 1992 Baylor game is a different matter. As I stated above it is the only time I questioned whether the game was rigged by the league to guarantee a result (Teaff winning his last SWC game). Trashmaster G pointed out above one of the most egregious moments in the game....there were others. Given what we know of the SWC at that time, it is not outside the realm of possibility. Can I prove it beyond a reasonable doubt - no..........but of all the events involving teams I have rooted for over the years and all the questionable calls that have gone against my teams, this is the only one where I believed I could legitimately yell "Conspiracy!!!"
  11. Estelle: So, I'm getting an eye job. George: An eye job? Ma, you don't need an eye job. Estelle: Georgie, I'm a divorcee. George: No, you're not a divorcee. Youre just separated. You're---you're a separatee. Estelle: Well, I'm out there, George. George: No, you're not out there. Estelle: I am, too! George: You're not out there! You can't be, because *I* am out there. And if I see *you* out there, there's not enough voltage in this world to electroshock me back into coherence!
  12. This is the only game that I honestly questioned the integrity of the officiating (i.e. thought they were instructed to make sure Grant Teaff didn't lose his last game). The calls were so egregiously bad and one sided that sheer ineptitude couldn't explain it.
  13. Do women know about shrinkage?" "What do you mean, like laundry?" "No..." "Like when a man goes swimming... Afterwards..." "It shrinks?" "Like a frightened turtle." "Why does it shrink?" "It just does." "I don't know how you guys walk around with those things."
  14. Tombstone - I think most have hit it on the head. It won't hold up as a classic Western, but many of the individual performances hold up very well. I would argue it is Kilmer's best performance - the lines and they way they are delivered still stand out. Powers Boothe and Michael Biehn are great as Curly Bill and Johnny Ringo. Agree that the last 3rd of the movie is a complete changeup in pacing from the first part of the movie....almost seems like they were running out of money and needed to finish quickly. I think had you lost the Dana Delany pieces of the movie, not sure anyone would have noticed. Bond Films - Agree that the Pierce Brosnan movies have not held up well, other than perhaps GoldenEye. I love Bond as a character, but find that you have exclude most of the Bond movies post mid 70's until Casino Royale with Daniel Craig if you are looking at quality. I'll admit that I've for the most part enjoyed the Daniel Craig versions. Really liked Casino Royale and Skyfall. Quantum was meh and not sure how I feel about Spectre (though Lea Seydoux is all kinds of hot). I was underwhelmed by Christoph Waltz's Blofeld - perhaps I was expecting more from the character given Waltz's past roles.
  15. Nice Rack!
  16. Sack speaks the truth......Laredo is great....and if you are in the Humble/Kingwood area Tita's Taco' House is the truth
  17. Jimmy: "Hey look. Hank's got a new boyfriend. Jimmy's not threatened by Hank's sexuality ... Jimmy's happy for Hank." Elaine: "Elaine once tried to convert one but Elaine's not going through that again."
  18. How does it feel to be an independent Schoenstein? How does it feel to be an asshole Neidermeyer.........
  19. Jefferson's Brother: My brother's gonna kill us! He's gonna kill us! He's gonna kill you and he's gonna kill me, he's gonna kill us! Jeff Spicoli: Hey man, just be glad I had fast reflexes! Jefferson's Brother: My brother's gonna shit! Jeff Spicoli: Make up your mind, dude, is he gonna shit or is he gonna kill us? Jefferson's Brother: First he's gonna shit, then he's gonna kill us! Jeff Spicoli: Relax, all right? My old man is a television repairman, he's got this ultimate set of tools. I can fix it. Jefferson's Brother: You can't fix this car Spicoli! Jeff Spicoli: I can fix it!
  20. George likes his chicken spicy!
  21. Mr. Hand: Where is Jeff Spicoli? I saw him earlier today, near the first floor bathrooms, is he still on campus? Anyone?[Desmond raises hand]Mr. Hand: Yes, Desmond?Desmond: I saw him outside, near the food machines.Mr. Hand: How long ago?Desmond: Right before class.Mr. Hand: All right. Bring him in.[Desmond exits]Mr. Hand: What is this fascination with truancy? What is it that gets inside of your heads? There are some teachers at this school who look the other way at truants. It's a little game you both play. They pretend they don't see you, and you pretend you don't ditch! Now, in the end, who pays the price? YOU! Spicoli: Hey, wait a minute. There's no birthday party for me here! Hola, Mr. Hand. Mr. Hand: What's the reason for your truancy? Spicoli: Just couldn't make it on time. Mr. Hand: You mean you couldn't or wouldn't? Spicoli: See, there was a full crowd at the food lines. Mr. Hand: Food will be eaten on your time. Why are you continuously late for this class, Mr. Spicoli? Why must you shamelessly waste my time like this? Spicoli: [thinks it over] I don't know. Mr. Hand: [writes I DON'T KNOW on the chalkboard] I like that. Hmm Hmm. "I don't know," that's nice. 'Mr. Hand, will I pass this class?' 'Gee Mr. Spicoli, I don't know.' That's nice, I really like that. You know what I'm gonna do? I'm going to leave your words on my board for all my classes to enjoy, giving you full credit of course, Mr. Spicoli. Spicoli: All right!
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