Not my wife but someone's wife
Took my kids and some of their friends out on boat today. I was taking one of them home, driving the FJ and towing the boat. Right before you get to their house you go through a cul de sac that has a road that comes from the right that has a stop sign. Lady driving a minivan blows through the stop sign and I have to lock it up while towing 5000 pounds so I lay on the horn.
She stops and rolls down her window and starts screaming at me "do you even live here, what are you doing here?"
I tell her nicely that I'm dropping my kids friends off and point to their house.
She says "well, it's tradition that people coming from that way go over on the wrong side of the street so people coming from..."
I cut her off "You have a stop sign, I do not. I have the right of way"
her: "you are wrong"
me "You have a stop sign, I do not, I have the right of way"
She sits there with her mouth open, starts talking about three times then finally starts to drive off when my kids friends mom comes up. Crazy lady waves her down and complains about me and my not following tradition of the cul de sac and how it's supposed to flow. Mom just nods at her.
Mom then drives up to me and I say "Hey, I'm not sure if you're aware but I'm making friends with your neighbors!"
She laughs and says yeah, some of her neighbors are idiots and if they think that's the way it should be then they need the county to put a stop sign there.
She then whispers so the kids don't hear, "Also she's an alcoholic and drunk as a skunk and shouldn't be driving right now"
We both laugh pretty hard, my kids pester me the whole way home, "what were you and Mrs. X laughing about?"