It's cringe holiday narrative letter time. Found this one on the web after I received two in the mail today. Generally if we care about you, we know what you did. If we don't care, we don't care
Dear Friends and Underlings,
What an eventful year. Back in May, I rolled off the couch and onto the floor, where I proceeded to crawl over to the TV and turn off “Days” for good. After all these years, I decided it was time to give it up. Then I stood up, dusted off my gray sweats, and took a walk around the block. I became so inspired that I returned home, sat down at the computer, and began to write my memoirs. Both of them — three pages each.
After 30 years of marriage, Carl got a little fidgety and took up golf. Don’t you just love those little white balls? I now know all about putters and drivers and bogeys and such. As always, our talents and interests complement each other so well. When he leaves, I drink cappuccino and work on my 300 page “to-do” list” and it all works out perfectly.
Daisy, our eldest, still prefers thugs to “nice boys,” but we are hoping she will outgrow this phase of her life. Carl is afraid the thugs will steal his golf equipment, and so am I. Iris, our second child, began to emit some frightful adolescent utterances back in October, but has since calmed down. Could have been the Halloween influence. Teens are faced with so much these days.
Blade, our son, has grown into such a handsome young lad. Oh, he still blows his nose on an invisible Kleenex and he still runs into a tree every now and then, but such is life.
May the year 2014 bring you everything you want, and the strength to cope with everything you don’t want.
Happy holidays,
The Rose C. Glasses Family
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