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El Squared

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Everything posted by El Squared

  1. Lincoln Riley says he’s helping power wind farms every time he farts in church.
  2. Lincoln Riley always tries to order free range squirrel at Hudson’s on the Bend
  3. Lincoln Riley always turns the toaster at hotels to 10 before he checks out.
  4. Lincoln Riley shaves with LEGOs.
  5. Lincoln Riley orders a “ McWater” at McDonalds.
  6. Lincoln Riley has an SEC tattoo and grille
  7. Lincoln Riley thinks Lee Harvey Oswald shot JFK.
  8. Lincoln Riley prefers Parkay over butter.
  9. Lincoln Riley has a Nancy Pelosi poster he holds up with one hand.
  10. Lincoln Riley has a collection of Pace Picante jars.
  11. Lincoln Riley puts single ply toilet paper in the guest bath.
  12. Lincoln Riley thinks Futureman is Surly’ best poster.
  13. Lincoln Riley thinks he is saving the planet drinking 2% milk.
  14. Lincoln Riley farts in crowded elevators and then stares at the guy in the wheelchair.
  15. Lincoln Riley gets out of the shower to piss AND shit.
  16. This thread proves that not only is winning hard, but a win only matters if it’s a good win, essentially flawless. Really? After 11 years in the fucking desert? Please crawl back into your parents basement, put on your VR googles and fire up Madden football while stuffing your retrospectoscope into your asshole you insufferable koonts.
  17. I will take any W against those sooner crimson lettuce putas.
  18. Yup, Nick likes to keep shitty coaches around in the SEC apparently. Keeping things close on the scoreboard with coaches like Jimblow, makes good business sense for bama long-term, unless he just wants to disembowel them at Pyle, so that aggy will STFU for a day or 2.
  19. Maybe Evans shot his wad last week vs pony ( 15/113, 3/70) but whatever. If he's "tired" or saving himself doesn't matter. Roaches lost 2 in a row with him on deck.
  20. I dunno, Nick throttles them back at times. Like Florida game etc. Would not bet the house.
  21. SIAP, its not Beastjan that anyone lacks trust in, its the OL. But they seem to be slowly moving in the right direction.
  22. IDear future and past conference (little) brother, aggy: please know, no matter what you pay your coaches , you will always have a place in the bottom of our hearts , in sacrificing yourselves as the ultimate CFB conference practice squad and whipping post. Thank you! also NOBODY, ANYWHERe can ever take away your “next year”. Ever. For realz.
  23. One does not simply walk causally into Kyle Stadium and defeat aggy, ...unless it’s a football team.
  24. You look at aggy over there, and really appreciate what an awesome conference mate he will be, as he was before: paying coaches extreme sums of money to lay down and sacrifice the team for the good of the conference. No finer conference friend is there than aggy. So here’s a tip of the cap, and a raised glass to the best door mats and step ladders anyone could ever hope for! Really, we mean it! Don’t ever change! We know that, no matter what excrement should adhere to the soles of our shoes, you will be there for us , licking and wiping them clean! Because: SEC!
  25. The big problem for aggy this weekend is: since Oregon lost ,and domed, who will they face in the playoffs? I mean, not looking past Bama, who they will beat convincingly, but gosh who will rise to the aggy standard? For Pete’s sake , tonight was merely a loss to SEC brother, so nothing to see here.
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