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SwanderedTalent

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Posts posted by SwanderedTalent

  1. 1 minute ago, Js1 said:

    No no no. See you are going to be forced to buy tickets with your money and them give them away to a minority. Sorry. New rules. 

    It will be really interesting to see how this plays out in terms of fan interest. It should-- should-- be much harder to walk away from college football than it was the NBA and NFL, but it doesn't feel like it will be.

    I feel like we're in the middle of a baseball game and suddenly the outfield and infield are arguing about whether third base is racist. I find one half of the argument stupid and frankly offensive but I'm not interested in joining in the yelling. So as long as the exits are open, OK, fine. 

  2. 15 hours ago, Elmer_Fudd said:

    Amazing any recruit would go play for that weird, goofy ass place right @Randolph Duke ?

    But what is the end game here? A&M is racist because they're A&M, no black players should go there. UT is racist because a lot of our fans don't want to abandon the "Eyes of Texas", no black players should come here. Every program in the South (so all of the SEC and most of the ACC) is racist because the South is 100% full of racist white Trump voters, no black players should go there. None of the programs on the East or West Coast care about football. 

    I guess it's going to be Ohio State, Michigan, Notre Dame, and Penn State in the playoff every year from now on? Or maybe I'm wrong about the West Coast and we can just go back to the Rose Bowl being the only thing that really matters in CFB's post-season. 

  3. 15 hours ago, Nivek said:

    People don't always challenge their own views or actions until confronted with it.  I didn't realize how insensitive I was to people with special needs (or their family members) with my cavalier use of 'retarded' until it became a discussion point over a decade ago.   

     

    That's fair, or charitable. I would find your evolution on using the word "retarded" a little less genuine if you had a huge financial stake in recruiting two dozen retards a year and it became clear that calling them "retarded" would negatively impact your ability to do so. 

    • Like 1
  4. and I should point out, at the most base level, my anger is basically "not getting what I want". And that's why the alcoholic part of my brain thinks drinking is such a fine solution to anger, because for me, drinking is the repeated process of "what I want is a drink / I have a drink in my hand / I just drank it / I got what I wanted!!!! / now what I want is another drink". 

    In that scenario, I'm estranged from my wife and daughter and locked in a dark hotel room with the curtains closed and bombed on Skol vodka at 11 in the morning. But I'm "getting what I want" so there's no anger and that is a huge relief to my brain. 

    • Like 7
  5. 21 hours ago, futureman said:

    when did the urge to drink finally leave you?  like really leave you.  I’m almost at 14 months going on 18 years and I’m not sure I’ve ever really not wanted to drink.  to be honest, these days I think it’s the fear of the unmanageability combined with the fact that I’m older now that is keeping me from buying a bottle through this fucking virus.  I am more conscious of the need to actively hold my life together than I was when I was 25. 

    I'm in a similar situation at the moment-- it's not that I want a drink per se. I don't have any illusions about it being fun, and I can't get oblivious enough to not realize what a horrible mistake I'm making so there's no relief there either. But between COVID, the race riots, and being laid off from a tech job, my stress level is as high as it's been since I got out of rehab in June of 2018. I don't sit around thinking "man a drink would sure help" or "I wish I could get drunk", but I'm in this perpetual stress state where little things like my three-year-old not doing what she's told just push me into this stratospheric level of anger and frustration and the thought of a drink pops into my head. Mix in what TexArcher was talking about, and I feel pretty combustible right now. 

    And I'm with you, more than anything else, it's fear keeping me in line: the fear of returning unmanageability, the fear of how hard it would be to sober up again, etc.

    But, I really do not think any of this, or even all of it simultaneously, would feel as insurmountable as it feels right now IF I were working the program. But thanks to the COVID shutdowns, my options there are Zoom meetings and phone calls, both of which I fucking hate. I don't hate 'em more than relapse, but goddamnit if I have to listen the audio pixelization of Zoom trying to manage thirty people mumbling the Serenity Prayer one more time, I'm going to go nuts.

    There's just a lot of anger right now. I am having to learn, painfully, how to live in anger and move past it without trying to drink it away.

    11 hours ago, TwiceHorn said:

    If you work the steps, it will leave.  

    I think most of us view(ed) it as some sort of solution to something, some kind of problem.  Once you start working the steps (it never ends, really, and it may take a couple of passes before you get really thorough) whatever problems you have don't seem to require any external solution anymore.  It doesn't mean they don't bother you some, but not to the extent that getting boiled as an owl seems like an appropriate or desirable thing to do.  You don't even have to balance positives in your life with the negatives that you know will ensue from drinking.  Drinking just becomes as unnatural as sticking your dick in a meat grinder.

    Agreed. To me, relapse over time went from flipping a light switch on or off, to there being an entire house's worth of breakers that have to be flipped. Right now, really being outside the program, I'm barely setting them back before something trips them again. I'm not close to relapsing, but I'm much closer than I've been at any point since June of 2018, because I'm angry.

    • Like 4
  6. 1 minute ago, Patricio Swayze said:


    And since you want to put your head in the sand

    what the fuck are you talking about? I tried to show you how pointless the argument about "NUH UH, IRISH PEOPLE DO SO SAY THEY'RE IRISH" was. Not the example itself, literally the idea that you and Apex are going to do anything but go back and forth on it with "I know a guy" stories.

    rabbit hole, dude

  7. 2 minutes ago, Patricio Swayze said:


    Huh? Are you kidding me? Irish descendentes LOVE to put out that they are Irish (they usually drop American altogether).

    Do this: stop for a second and ask yourself if you really think this argument you're having right now-- "how frequently Irish-Americans identify as such"-- on a Texas football board in a thread about whether or not a decades-old fight song is just too racist for black kids to have to sing-- is something that's going actually get settled, and whether it matter if it does.

    • Haha 1
  8. 32 minutes ago, markstanco said:

    Only because his agent told him to do so.

    there are a looooooot of white coaches and players saying what they think they are supposed to say right now

    I don't personally think Tom Herman believes much of what he's saying. To him, it's no different than when he gets asked about playing A&M. There's a right way to answer, a wrong way, and his personal opinion, and whether his personal opinion lines up with the Correct Answer or not, the Correct Answer is what comes out. 

  9. 15 minutes ago, Snacks said:

    . For hundreds of years, family was limited to very few black people. However, killing of slaves and blacks has been legal, more or less, since before this country has been a country to today.

    The rate of "fatherlessness" in the black community skyrocketed from the mid-1960s on. I guess we must have started singing the hell out of The Eyes of Texas at that point. 

  10. 11 minutes ago, Spankytoes said:

    Everyone agrees that:

    1. Racism is bad and needs to be abolished from our society

    2. Cops need to change their tactics when dealing with the public 

    3. Everyone should be equal 

    Stipulated. Two things we don't all agree on:

    1) What constitutes racism / what is or isn't racist

    2) Who gets to define and decide #1

    The white population in this country is pretty split on both and the split gets nastier all the time.

    • Like 1
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