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Tex Long

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Everything posted by Tex Long

  1. To be scrupulously accurate, it's more akin to roaring than screaming, for my part. That, and I am remarkably free from flatulence, although the death throes of the severely over-used fan not only qualify as screaming, they likely do disturb neighbors, or at least some of their livestock.
  2. You want to include fruit under vegetables, ok with me. "Fruit" has seed, rest of the plant is non-fruit, but all vege. I wouldn't call a mushroom a plant, although it's a fruit of a fungus, so there's that.
  3. Giver and receiver of multiple screaming orgasms... makes up for a lot.
  4. Other than some of them being fruit, an eggplant masquerading as a zucchini, and one not being a plant at all (although technically a fruit) - much less a veg - there's pretty much nothing there that I wouldn't chow down on, happily.
  5. Probably shouldn't use "visible" and "intestinal lining" in the same sentence.
  6. Not 100% on board with "mannish"...
  7. That pic you included looks like someone who needs a crack analysis.
  8. Improve the NFL draft drama. Let Colleges into the room. Combine Portal and Draft. Some of the players who are thinking about how badly they fucked up by entering the Draft... let the NIL cash registers start ringing.
  9. While it's certainly true that "Waive Your Dildo" has a bit of cachet to it, particularly as a motto for one's own Little Brotherly Law School, it is my considered opinion that it can not, and does not, plumb the philological (or any other) depths of "Swing Your Sword".
  10. Next birhday - or whatever occasion - buy him a new one. But make certain the switch has a remote.
  11. And from the distance - or was it under the passenger seat? - the ever-present but not always heard throb... pocketa pocketa pocketa pocketa ...
  12. There is no way, even in the world of Shedeur hype, that Golden gets that draft position as a Cougar. Young Mister Golden got a hell of a lot more than just NIL buckage as a result of his transfer to Texas.
  13. One might suppose that putting none of one's money into the portal would provide a solid million dollars or so per game to bribe a ref or two, resulting in a superior winning record. Pure cash transactions would be difficult to prove, and while a million dollars is a ton of money in $1 notes, it's only 20 pounds in Franklins, easily deliverable by FedEx.
  14. Dildo Waivers is a quality band name. Probably law school flunkouts.
  15. Never use "inserted" and "mom" in the same sentence, unless it also includes "South Austin". Furtively Squandering has a distinctly Surly feeling. Band? Motto? Objective? Remains to be seen. But "remains to be seen" might be a tag line in an obituary.
  16. As much as MensaTom wallowed in pig shit, I gotta give him one thing: he fucking beat Georgia.
  17. Never had any problems, but she only kept it a couple of years. I think mainly because I bitched every time I had to ride in the skinny seats... she went with a Highlander next. I hang with a Suburban or a crew cab mostly, although thanks to AMD I drive hardly at all anymore.
  18. The 26X series was one of the best lines of cars ever. We had all our kids in standard transmission Volvos from the time they started driving until they left home and/or started buying their own cars, principally for safety reasons. The 26X and 24X also had the last of the decently big seats. Miz Long switched to a 960/S90, then an XC90, which was still a damn fine car, but they downsized the seats... piss on that.
  19. Well, yeah... but he's fucking entertaining, and that's the bidness they're all in.
  20. Funniest part: When looking at some game tape - I think it was either 4th and 13 or the Meatchicken throw, Gruden said "Now that, that was spider 2, y banana."
  21. Great show. Learned UNT guy told him he'd be coming with an offer when he got to HS. He was in 7th grade. Also learned he went early grad from HS because he had a $1.25Meg offer and Texas law didn't allow HS athletes to get paid.
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