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Posts posted by Tex Long
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7 minutes ago, Ghost of NMAS said:
Isn't a fruit, by definition, part of a plant?
fruit, the fleshy or dry ripened ovary of a flowering plant, enclosing the seed or seeds.
You want to include fruit under vegetables, ok with me. "Fruit" has seed, rest of the plant is non-fruit, but all vege.
I wouldn't call a mushroom a plant, although it's a fruit of a fungus, so there's that.
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On 4/26/2025 at 6:00 PM, TrashMaster G said:
Good in bed, huh?
Giver and receiver of multiple screaming orgasms... makes up for a lot.
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Probably shouldn't use "visible" and "intestinal lining" in the same sentence.
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1 minute ago, DFW Horn said:
I know
I'd fit right in with Kiper and ESPN's crack analysts
That pic you included looks like someone who needs a crack analysis.
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Improve the NFL draft drama.
Let Colleges into the room. Combine Portal and Draft.
Some of the players who are thinking about how badly they fucked up by entering the Draft... let the NIL cash registers start ringing.
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1 hour ago, Deej said:
Yet every aggie is a waving dildo.
While it's certainly true that "Waive Your Dildo" has a bit of cachet to it, particularly as a motto for one's own Little Brotherly Law School, it is my considered opinion that it can not, and does not, plumb the philological (or any other) depths of "Swing Your Sword".
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22 minutes ago, tigol said:
My husband won't fix my fart fan. I can't decide if he's lazy or gross. Probly a little of both.
Next birhday - or whatever occasion - buy him a new one. But make certain the switch has a remote.
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1 hour ago, Getafix said:
Nice, Vito ... and a little Mittyesque.
"As their Lambo and their season floundered in the surf, Bert and Beck brushed their bangs and banked their NIL, inscrutable to the last."
And from the distance - or was it under the passenger seat? - the ever-present but not always heard throb... pocketa pocketa pocketa pocketa ...
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There is no way, even in the world of Shedeur hype, that Golden gets that draft position as a Cougar.
Young Mister Golden got a hell of a lot more than just NIL buckage as a result of his transfer to Texas.
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One might suppose that putting none of one's money into the portal would provide a solid million dollars or so per game to bribe a ref or two, resulting in a superior winning record. Pure cash transactions would be difficult to prove, and while a million dollars is a ton of money in $1 notes, it's only 20 pounds in Franklins, easily deliverable by FedEx.
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7 minutes ago, Deej said:
Every accusation is a confession, and I can't believe you inserted your mom into this thread.
Never use "inserted" and "mom" in the same sentence, unless it also includes "South Austin".
Furtively Squandering has a distinctly Surly feeling. Band? Motto? Objective?
Remains to be seen. But "remains to be seen" might be a tag line in an obituary.
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PM Jon Gruden?
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On 4/22/2025 at 7:43 PM, Slacks said:
Is Krempin easy?
Have you never krempt?
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16 minutes ago, Im_smarter_then_you said:
I'm ok with appreciating QE. He was a part of bringing us back along with a) Sark, b) NIL, c) being rid of Tom the Herman
As much as MensaTom wallowed in pig shit, I gotta give him one thing: he fucking beat Georgia.
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23 hours ago, Superhero said:
How reliable is the XC90?
Never had any problems, but she only kept it a couple of years. I think mainly because I bitched every time I had to ride in the skinny seats... she went with a Highlander next. I hang with a Suburban or a crew cab mostly, although thanks to AMD I drive hardly at all anymore.
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14 hours ago, Okie State said:
I'd drive the shit out of that.
The 26X series was one of the best lines of cars ever. We had all our kids in standard transmission Volvos from the time they started driving until they left home and/or started buying their own cars, principally for safety reasons. The 26X and 24X also had the last of the decently big seats. Miz Long switched to a 960/S90, then an XC90, which was still a damn fine car, but they downsized the seats... piss on that.
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4 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:
Gruden is a caricature of a football coach.
Well, yeah... but he's fucking entertaining, and that's the bidness they're all in.
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Funniest part: When looking at some game tape - I think it was either 4th and 13 or the Meatchicken throw, Gruden said "Now that, that was spider 2, y banana."
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Great show. Learned UNT guy told him he'd be coming with an offer when he got to HS. He was in 7th grade.
Also learned he went early grad from HS because he had a $1.25Meg offer and Texas law didn't allow HS athletes to get paid.
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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do
in Lulz
Posted
To be scrupulously accurate, it's more akin to roaring than screaming, for my part. That, and I am remarkably free from flatulence, although the death throes of the severely over-used fan not only qualify as screaming, they likely do disturb neighbors, or at least some of their livestock.