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Tex Long

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Posts posted by Tex Long

  1. 2 minutes ago, conVINCEd said:

    There was a witness who stopped to render aid/make sure we were alive. She backed up my story that we were being chased by a carful of people with guns.  There was another car who I was racing, but they had no guns.  She bought what I was selling, and ended up being my advocate with both the cops and my parents.  

    Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! I knew it was a bad idea to let that hitchhiker drive. I shoulda grabbed the wheel while he was opening that bottle of Jack Daniels... Where'd he go? Let me at him!

    • Haha 1
  2. 55 minutes ago, kwood4408 said:

    I love that aggy thinks we don’t travel and our away games are packed only with our opponents fans. Not positive on actual numbers but there was a shit ton of burnt orange in Bryant-Denny stadium last September. I imagine there will be a large contingent at the big house next month. I wouldn’t be shocked if Vanderbilt is more like a home game for us with just about every Longhorn I know making that trip.

    Nashville can be a very good visit, that's no shit.

    • Like 1
  3. 10 minutes ago, conVINCEd said:

    It’s all fun and games until you find yourself crawling out of a car through the window and have to conjure up a plausible explanation for why it is upside down.

    IMG_0081.jpeg.be07fffe30b74ea0f98874993c519a17.jpeg

    If you've actually done that, you know that you don't need that explanation anytime soon. Well, at least so long as you can get clear of the driver's seat before witnesses show up.

    • Hook 'Em 1
  4. 3 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

    Randomly select a few non-affiliated and inexperienced spectators prior to each event. 

    Fuck randomness, let spectators challenge the medalists. 

  5. NC2A is such an asshole organization. Comes across as being full of the pettiest douchebags in America. I'd like to see the media publish the names, images, and likenesses of every cocksucker in that organization - along with every other one of them who have anything to do with it, whether they suck cock or not.

  6. I'd bet most of us have at least one instance of having done something incredibly stupid... and survived basically by accident and against all odds.

    And not even noticing it at the time, certainly not to the point of stopping to buy a lottery ticket because obviously Lady Luck was on our side at that exact moment.

  7. 43 minutes ago, Jerry Callo said:

    I still like the idea of putting one normal person in every single Olympic event to show how difficult the events are and the talent of the athletes.  And hilarious.  

     

    11 minutes ago, Mittens said:

    I don't even want a normal normal person - I want like a state champion, or an NCAA conference champion.  Someone who is clearly better than everyone else, but also orders of magnitude from what an Olympic medalist is.

     

    5 minutes ago, Lhorn said:

    State champ or NCAA champ is still pretty impressive.  Maybe third team all district….. 2A

     

     

    These are all good, as long as the contestant wears a maroon outfit and has a table of aggy t-shirts for sale.

     

     

    • Hook 'Em 2
    • Haha 1
  8. 54 minutes ago, Ojo Rojo said:

    This exact same fucking thing happened to me.  Except I actually went down to the garage where there is a small cabinet with all of the PEX valves in it.  I wanted to make sure the valve to the kitchen was on as a place to start.  It was on.

    Rookie move. Best place to start is the kitchen sink.

    Then, when it works, sing out "Fixed it, honey!" Might not get you laid, but it might bring a sammitch.

    • Like 1
  9. 4 hours ago, Texasborn91 said:

    Finishing moving into the new house this past Friday and preparing to have everything ready for house warming party the next day. I’ve assembled upwards of 20 packages of furniture, storage,  various random trinkets the wife has ordered without my knowledge. I’m way deep into a new shelf when from the kitchen I hear “hot water isn’t working”.  She then proceeds to tell me it’s working in the rest of the house just not the kitchen sink. I yell back did you make sure it’s turned the right direction? Replies with a yes I’m not stupid… I begin to get off the floor and head that way when I hear her yell. It’s working now! Was it turned the wrong way I ask? No response…. 

    No reponse is the best response you can hope for.

     

    • Hook 'Em 3
    • Like 2
    • Rage+1 1
  10. 1 minute ago, Etexhorn13 said:

    Driving through Pasadena on my way back to Houston from Baytown. It does actually smell awful here like the jokes would imply. Who knew. 

    Next time, you'll know better. Windows closed, fan full on. Coupla pinetree smellum sticks might help, too.

     

  11. The world needs to ban advertisements in any medium for any drug. Legal, illegal... don't care.

    Stick those ads  up your possibly commonly potentially bleeding colon, along with your side effects of stuffy nose, hair loss, difficulty breathing, vertigo, blindness, heart attack, stroke and sudden death.

     

    • Hook 'Em 5
    • Like 2
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