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Tex Long

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Everything posted by Tex Long

  1. Fuckin' southpaws, bastards spin the ball backwards.
  2. South Padre - don't recall hotel name. Fuck high rise, had the second floor Honeymoon Suite, overlooking the pool. Full width floor-to-ceilling sliding glass doors, wide open. Fabulous breeze blowing the see-through drapes. Told her the crowd couldn't see in, but I lied. Quite noisy, both of us. We built up to the great climax and got thunderous applause, cheers and whistles. Had to have supper sent up, couldn't walk, wouldn't walk.
  3. Hahaha - it coulda been better, but the stew just watched. I don't think we woulda said no if she'd wanted to join in.
  4. Zero-G probably removes a whole lot of needful athleticism. That, and you likely don't need or can't use Armybrat's sex swing.
  5. This is how I imagine Holly Rowe, back in the day. Someone denigrated "plane sex", but I'ma throw in 747 Upper Deck Lounge at 38,000 feet over Atlantic Ocean. Still gotta think it's true that Doggy and Reverse Cowgirl are the same thing on ISS.
  6. Been watching games instead of reading and typing. Gonna do it again tonight. Looking for fewer E's from fielders, more K's from Kavan. Prolly need more urgency from Coach Kiwi-breath. Gotta believe this is our time and not going to be thwarted by Tceh and their boughten superstar. Hook'em
  7. Bachelorette Party favors?
  8. That would be SHOELESS TONY CROSBY, I believe.
  9. Markers apparently not the only things that got stuck up that butt...
  10. "Smu sold foam sabers. They were called Saggy Aggie Sabers. I miss the Southwest Conference." Saggy Aggy Saber needs to come back. Where's the Surly with the Foam Shop?
  11. Canaries fucking looooove hemp seed. Fatten 'em up, break out the shishkabob set... mmmmm-mmmm! Ortolans got nothin' on crispy canaries...
  12. Children, what's that sound?
  13. You've spelt "wymyn" incorrectly.
  14. The original phrasing from that ad is one of the all-time best low-key brain worms.
  15. Been petty obvious from some of his scrawlings for a good long while. Prolly you saw it, but didn't notice it. Surly motto material, right there.
  16. Gotta say it, no lie, Monkey Scrotum is a damned fine click-bait name for a band.
  17. If you take a nice, long hot shower, thoroughly scrubbing every nook and cranny of your body, then dry yourself with a nice clean towel... why is that towel now "dirty"?
  18. No, wasn't he Archie Manning's roommate?
  19. True, but Arch has better hair.
  20. Truth be told, A fat, balding, has-been loser, passed out by the dumpsters behind The Chicken is absolutely perfect as a description of the average online aggy. Maybe it's a little too long, but that in itself is a description of said aggys' attempts at prose.
  21. Meaty Nipple denial combined with gender discriminance seems like a Surly Thing.
  22. I'd buy a ticket to the next Meaty Nipple concert.
  23. I'll take that as a "Yep"...
  24. No, he's a professor, just apparently not a Professor.
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