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Tex Long

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Everything posted by Tex Long

  1. Any TE who looks at Helm's hi-lites should want to have a chance to catch passes from Arch,
  2. Well said. I think this nails it. Of course, it could be considerd as "damning with faint praise".
  3. No strong regrets, but similar story. Several years back, visit to Doc for general checkup. Doc does his thing, leaves me with PA, who is an absolutely gorgeous 35-40 year-old woman. She does a couple more things, then says "Let's just check your prostate." I say, "Uhhhhh, okay... if it's mutual." She says "Mutual? Meaning what?" I say "Well, if you're going to stick your finger up my butt, I ought to get to stick my finger up yours, no?" She laughs, responds with "Oh, I wasn't going to use my bare finger!" I said, "Neither was I." Still waiting for that check...
  4. It has to do with the same reasons men can get dressed and headed out the door in a few minutes, while women need at least 45 minutes, even if it's just for a trip through the pharmacy drive-thru. Basically, it's about the concept of "outfits". A man is almost never concerned with specific colors, any combination is perfectly good as long as (1) it's not soaking wet, (2) it has no (overly) large holes, and (3) it doesn't smell (particularly) bad.
  5. Back when the earliest "always on" modems hit the 'net - before the 'net became the web - I wrote a little piece of software that would run a chunk of text through a thesaurus and save the results. One of the first bits I tried, before it got too boring, came back with "I vow fealty to the symbol of the Bonded Modalities of America..." I'm pretty sure that code was swiped by certain government agencies and has been heavily involved in speech-writing for these many years.
  6. Gonna need to fix that face-width-to-horns ratio. Does she have her personal redesign posted? ... maybe add some bevels in there somewhere...
  7. Yeah, something in the red zone needs to get more than just "focus".
  8. How many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. Two to screw in the light bulb, and one to give you a blowjob while you watch the first two screwing.
  9. This is the point, of course. Errybody seriously doubts it happens... but it would help take some of the ridiculous levels of attention pressure raining down on Arch's head.
  10. What's the difference between a bonus and a penis? Your wife will always blow your bonus.
  11. I was thinking "possess", but brevity is the soul of something something.
  12. He doesn't what the level? Sumbitch seemed (seems?) plenty fast and able to get open. If the drops were basically just lack of concentration, and his attitude and effort are up to snuff, I wouldn't mind giving him June and July to show out and give Arch another reliable target. But, meh, you're prolly right...
  13. Maybe the saddest thing about aggy is that the vast majority of their time is spent trying to compare themselves to us, usually with excuses about mistreatment unfairly causing them to fall short... while our references to them are 99.9999999999% of the form "I could use a good laugh, let's see what aggy is up to."
  14. Yeah, I'd like to see this story turn out well... I think a lot of us feel this way. I don't suppose Sark would consider a second third chance? But it might be worth a look - let him in Summer School, work out with teammates, see if it's a real change. Would be a hell of a thing if it worked out.
  15. They're just making sure they've got Jimbo lined up, for when Day loses to Meatchicken yet again. Larry Ellison gonna write that check.
  16. You've spelt panty pages incorrectly.
  17. This probably belongs in the Stoopid Kweschuns thread, but... Is there a Miz Billy to comfort our boy after a hard day banning customers?
  18. One of the bestest names available. Gotta hire a guy from aggy, name sounds like a dog choking...
  19. In baseball's long seasons, there are must-win games and there are games that are good to win, but no big deal if not. Schloss appears to be coaching to get the team better, rather than killing himself trying to win every single game. Things are so much better this season. My camping is full of happiness.
  20. Can't lie... Coogs or no, the outcome gruntled the fuck outta me.
  21. Poultry Pimp is good, but too many syllables. I'ma go with "Fowl Pimp". Looks like we're headed for a bigger band here, though, so maybe just "The Pimps"?
  22. Tex Long

    Getting old sucks

    Welp... new plastic lens in my right eye seems to have settled in pretty well. Opto said 20-50 last Wednesday - and acted as though that's a surprisingly Good Thing... and I'm gruntled. It's even better now, so the gruntling continues. Left eye next week. That one's been 20-300 forever, and functionally worse when you add in AMD and cataract to the major astigmatism. I'll be happy if it just stays close enough that I can still read without specs. I've read left-eyed my entire life, and I'd just as soon be able to nod off while reading without having to worry about specs... Excelsior.
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