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Posts posted by Tex Long
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10 minutes ago, royiv said:
Al Pacino’s what? Accountant? Cousin? Gardener? Barber?
Table.
1 minute ago, closetojumping said:Fluffer.
Fluffer's table.
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4 minutes ago, HRSchenker said:
Aren't those 2 pairs of the same thing? Bath sheet = bath towel. Face towel = wash cloth. Only 1 of those belong in the bathroom. Wash cloths stay in the kitchen or the garage.
Nah. Bath sheet >> Bath towel, size-wise. Face towel >> Wash cloth, size-wise, but wash cloth thicker. You seem to be thinking of dish cloths and wash rags. Prolly same thought patterns that lead Surly to believe that a toilet attachment is somehow a bidet, when it's really an ass-washer, while a real bidet is a separate thing altogether.
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47 minutes ago, Scholz said:
12th Man = Piped in
musicfan noise.FIFY
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37 minutes ago, Sandman said:
About 20 years ago, I was listening to some morning radio dorks and they were talking about the towel/sheets/pajamas rotation. The woman of the group said that not only did she use a fresh towel every day, she also wore clean PJs every day AND CHANGED HER SHEETS EVERY FUCKING DAY. She claimed that she just felt gross, sleeping on dirty sheets. The two dudes called her a nutjob, in a kind way. Shocking news, she was unmarried.
No PJ rotation. I sleep buck nekkid. I do keep a robe nearby, in case a fire or other emergency requires action.
Sheets? When a night sweat (or other sweat-inducing occurrences) stickies 'em up, or the crumb quotient exceeds sleepability levels.
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27 minutes ago, CHIEF said:
I think when people ask me my weight, I am going to answer them with the "Jew Pound" calculation.
CHIEF
You use "Dog Years" too, right?
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15 minutes ago, Underdog said:
You guys shower?
Surly notwithstanding, bidets can't handle all your cleanliness needs.
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55 minutes ago, Bozo_Casanova said:
... we are in a category of one.
As Bum said, "I ain't too sure about the class size, but it don't take long to call roll."
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4 hours ago, Junior Bonner said:
Burn victim with a wig, would be my guess.
Was thinking face through windshield, wig.
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I give him 9.3 - coulda been higher, but didn't stick the landing.
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I solved the towel insanity by getting "my own" set - bright red, nothing else in the house like it. Bath sheet, bath towel, face towel, coupla wash cloths. Wash 'em myself when I think they need it, all together so they fade at same rate. All I need now is a big red mat...
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1 hour ago, TrashMaster G said:
Pretty sure all pounds are 16 ounces
I take it you're not familiar with the Boerne "Jew Pound".
That coffee can in the photo had for many years had 16 oz of coffee in it. Errybody - Folger's, Maxwell House, French Market... errybody - had 16 oz of coffee in that size can. Somewhere in the 70's (I think) most of them started puffing up their grounds with air, and selling 12 oz of coffee in that same size can. French Market didn't do that, and one of their advertising points was "still a Full 16 Ounces".
I was having breakfast one morning, that little cafe near the courthouse in Boerne, early enough that there were a couple of tables full of old farmers, and the one nearer me had as a topic of conversation the sad fact that their coffee now came in a can that looked full, but was only a "Jew Pound".
The antisemitic bastards probably all had German names.
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1 hour ago, futureman said:
not even close.
At least it's still a 16 ounce pound...
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1 hour ago, Iceman said:
Why don't they just have 5 towels hanging up for everyone at the locker room then?
"They"? I'm talking about home...
You want to talk gym locker room... bring your own damn towel. You shower up, rinse off, stuff your wet towel in your bag with sweaty smelly tee, shorts, jock and sox - all bets are off.
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This was a part of an image of phone text. The rest wasn't all that funny, so I just typed it.
QuoteI'm eskimo brothers with my sister. We just apparently have the same taste in women.
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2 hours ago, honolulu horn said:
“Fugitive Apprehension Task Force” lol. What a chode.
Add "Police Intel Group" and order up some PIGFAT Jackets.
... or FATPIG, if that suits you better,,,
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2 hours ago, nnm said:
That is very satisfying.
Reminds me of when OJ was broadcasting a game in Buffalo and some player got KO'd. The trainers were hovering around him, and another talking head asked "OJ, you[ve been there on this very field... what are those guys saying to him?"
OJ said, "They ask you what the score is, or who we playing,or what city we in. But it don't matter, 'cause your answer always the same." The guy said, "Really? What do you answer?" OJ said "You just say huuuhhhhh?"
Many of us can confirm that.
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Judging by Liucci's offerings and aggy posters' responses, there will be a new Motto:
Meaty Ochre: It's Better Than Last Place
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3 hours ago, Not a Sock said:
The Clearinghouse is 100% going to get sued.
And lose.
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1 hour ago, Slowride91 said:
Wonder if he’s gotten any solid opportunities yet?
Prolly... assuming that by "solid opportunities" you mean "hard responses".
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16 hours ago, Hondo said:
With an Oxford comma, of course.
My three favorite things are eating my cats and eschewing commas.
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Dumbass Shit We See On Facebook
in Lulz
Posted
Linoleum =/= Plastic