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Tex Long

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Everything posted by Tex Long

  1. Need an APPLAUSE!! sign and a LaughTrack machine.
  2. Big Shit Sandwich is a damned fine band name.
  3. It's what your vet does when you tell him you need that bitch to get her vocal cords nicked so she can't bark all damn day and half the night. If your vet is a Good Ag he won't ask any questions.
  4. If you're using Chrome, the Just Read extension has been cutting through paywall popups for me for a good while now. It also unfucks bizarre color combinations and presents clean, readable text. You go to the page you want to read and then click on Just Read extension... presto!
  5. Maybe Kinne can give Sark some pointers...?
  6. While that's gruntling, keep in mind they were overrating Meatchicken before, so... grain of salt and all that...
  7. Don't eat your candy in the lobby. We've got ten more games in the regular season, and at least a couple are going to be against better teams than the Fightin' Weasels.
  8. Damn, Notre Dame is paying for that win over aggy. Kyle Field and the 12th Man clearly whipped the Irish in every aspect of the game except the much-overrated scoreboard. So badly beat up is Notre Dame that they are struggling with a sneaky-good Directional Illinois. The aggy curse strikes again - WHOOP!
  9. I need to listen better - I've only heard unwanted anal leakage, which I would have thought unneedfully clarificational.
  10. Is it only my wife, or are there other females who believe that jar lids are just sort of decorative and don't need to be tightened - or even turned more than an eighth of a turn (if that much)?
  11. That narrows it down to... what? About hunnerd'n'twenny locations?
  12. Only the shy ones. Take it either way.
  13. That's called "twenty-five long handoffs".
  14. Well... technically, the player doesn't have to be inside the side line - he can be flying through the air, completely over that line, and if the ball is inside it, it's six points. Likewise, on the side line, the player and the ball can both be on the wrong side, and as long as he can stretch back and touch in bounds, it's a catch... but if the player touches or crosses the line, it's no catch even if the ball is completely in bounds. Ask your wife. I'm guessing her response will be "huh?"
  15. Surly-making? Any TV ad for drugs that have 48 of the 60 seconds listing side effects. Especially when they include hair loss, blindness, shortness of breath, decrease in libido, and "cardiac events including stroke, heart attack, or sudden death".
  16. She didn't by any chance have an ex-husband who was a dentist in Philadelphia, who turned out to be gay and had given her a strong preference for backdoor action?
  17. Seems like you have no answers, just questions.
  18. Miz Long (lawyer) asked one I have no answer for, and actually wondered about, myself. How come on the goal line, it's where the ball is, not the player's foot, but on the side, it's where the player's foot is, not the ball?
  19. QuadWides. On 2 parcels. Second parcel is a 10-acre pitch'n'putt.
  20. You spelled "Venables" incorrectly.
  21. Best part is, with the score 45-11, and the clock at 00:03,Texas has the ball, 4th and 7, on our own 15 yard line. The Texas punter turns his back on the line of scrimmage, and insouciantly kicks the ball into the end-zone seats. The game is over, and the Weasels are awarded a safety and an additional two points. Bettors with Meatchicken plus 7 1/2 don't celebrate.
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