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Tex Long

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Everything posted by Tex Long

  1. Fact. I missed most of the fourth day, but I only have one real question about the proceedings. Did The Elk explain how come he didn't bring any players? Or did I hear that wrong, and they just weren't listed?
  2. Good. I was gonna offer to either drop KW to W, or lose the ",000" part. 10MW is a big fucking generator...
  3. SEC fans behavior like this remind me of Big Charlie. Was at Princeton, which is like 40 or 50 miles up the road from Philly – Big Charlie was from South Philly, and was the very image of a badass for all of his fellow yankees there. This one time I walked into a party, with Doctor E and a couple of other Texans – weren't a lot of us, and we kinda hung out together. Big Charlie, he was about 6'1” and 225, not a little guy at all. Doctor E, on the other hand – the E was for “Enormous” - was a bit over 6'3” and 350, and that was meat, not fat. Pat him on the shoulder and it was like patting a buffalo. He was a really soft-spoken, slow-talking guy. So, we walk in, and it's “Hey! The Texans are here!” Big Charlie seemed like he had a head start on the open bar, and he came dancing over to us and yelled “E! My man! How's it going, baby!?!” and E responded as he pretty much always did, “How...dy”. And Big Charlie kept dancing up and back, going on with “Howdy? Howdy? Everybody in Texas say “Howdy? Do they? Howdy? Howdy doody? Do they? Huh? Do they?” Doctor E said, slowly and plenty loud enough for the whole party to hear, “Naw.. Some. Times. We. Say. Get. The. Fuck. Outta. My. Face. And. Back. The. Fuck. Off. Before. I. Stomp. Your. Ass. Flat. And. Shit. All. Over. Your. Bleeding. Corpse.” Dead silence, for about thirty seconds. Big Charlie did in fact back the fuck off with a nervous laugh or two, and we hit the bar, and the party was on. I'm kinda expecting somewhat similar from SEC fans. We'll have all the hate we need, from old rivalries with 0U, Arkysaw, and aggy. This gon' be good dot gif.
  4. Unpossible. This is tantamount to saying it takes eye bleach to unsee something.
  5. As a former Guidon of the Crack Platoon, I am mightily impressed by this drill. Our maximum of perhaps three or four moves pales into insignificance.
  6. Not a Starbucks customer. Is Grande similar to Giant Economy Size? Or closer to Family Size?
  7. Josh was Finebaum's first 15-minute guest at 1600 yesterday. Without going into too much ranting, he restated the aggy "too much tu" lines. Grantedm he didn't use their favorite lines, but he totally failed to point out that aggy is complaining about tu bringing SECSECSEC media daze to Bug D, but neglecting to note that this is truly about Texas... when aggy has been in the league for 12 years and never once managed to bring SEC to either Dallas or Houston. Josh is pretty good in most ways, but his main sponsor is Academy, and the aggy connection runs deep. What neither Josh, nor Finebaum, nor anyone else has bothered to mention is that aggy goes on and on and on about tu being their gret rival... but Texas has the Don Draper attitude towards them. Although, gtanted, Don didn't have any belly laughs about the abject stupidity of his copywriters, much less five or ten times daily.
  8. Probably too soon, or too late, but I'ma claim "timely". 1. SEC Media days is a damned impressive production. XII Media Days is totally amateurish next to it. Be fair, I'm not a big fan of SECSECSEC bullshit, but I can't see my way to avoiding a hat tip to this production. 2. Someone needs to explain to Loreal about the difference between Burnt Orange and regular ol' SEC Arnje. Other than that, Sark was also damned impressive, and it appeared that other than Late Kick Dumbass, pretty much all the talking heads felt the same way. 3. Hook'em
  9. This is another example of what I believe is an innate difference between the sexes (or genders or whatever...). I can't count the number of times I have asked a female of the species a fairly simple question, which only requires a simple yes or no in answer, and received dozens, if not hundreds, of words in return. These are inevitably in the form of a completely unnecessary explanation, and often do not include the single word I had sought. In retrospect, it is easier to count the number times when the response actually was that single word, possibly accompanied with something short... "no, thanks" or "yes, why not" or the like. That count is either a single digit or perhaps as high as low double digits.
  10. For SEC'ers new to Surly, here're two things about "Horns Down" that you probably don't know: 1. People who do that are only showing that they've never been in a real-life situation where a Longhorn shows its horns down. If that happens to you, you'd best be either on the other side of the fence already, or close enough to get over it before that Longhorn gets to you. Ask UGA. UGA knows. 2. We live in your head, RENT FREE!
  11. Go for it. Candy Wizard is a great band name, and it's even better than Spread Buttholes.
  12. You're partly right. First one should be 3?, prolly. The ? is for unsure if actually dickless. NTTAWWT. To be fair, these days it can be hard to tell from a pic, with their clothes on.
  13. The Best Little Glory Holes in Texas is a fucking awful name for a band, but a great name for a publication for... well, you know... EDIT NTTAWWT
  14. We seem to have more good-to-great receivers than any of our opponents have good-to-great dbacks. That leads me to look for more rotation of our men than the dbs will be able to deal with. If the OL provides time for Ewers/Manning, there should be ridiculous numbers of deep shots available.
  15. How's your [REDACTED]?
  16. Tex Long

    SEC Network

    They're just butthurt because we didn't try harder to steal their baseball corch.
  17. Between the Satya contaminated and the jumpers into the sarchasm, we're going to be short on popcorn sooner rather than later.
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