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Tex Long

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Everything posted by Tex Long

  1. Tex Long

    SEC Network

    They're just butthurt because we didn't try harder to steal their baseball corch.
  2. Between the Satya contaminated and the jumpers into the sarchasm, we're going to be short on popcorn sooner rather than later.
  3. Intel on opponents' pitching is crucial. Nothing raises your winning percentage like being able to tell your hitters "this guy wants to throw strikes on the first pitch, you're a right-handed power guy, and he throws low and away to you, sit on that for that first one." I'm assuming from watching both aggy and vols that Schloss and Max are all over that. QUESTION: do NCAA rules prohibit regular season opponent scouting and taping? The Meatchicken hoohaw last season put "the rules book" front and center, and as I recall, it mentioned scouting as okay in tournament situations and pertained to basketball for sure, but I don't know if it was also for baseball - no good reason why not.
  4. Trev is a bean counter. When the ones who can make your organization great leave, you're going to get bean counters who don't understand where the beans come from, and it doesn't matter whether they can actually count beans or not... you're on the road to becoming Boeing. Welcome to College Station, Trev. Which aisle gas the popcorn?
  5. Eh. The whole thing there is either they're getting paid, they've turned into RealAggy, or they believe being there will give them a better opportunity to get to the Show. Some or all of that. In any event, goodbye and good luck to them. They're gonna need it.
  6. The correct response to that behavior is to wait until the stoppage is over, line up, pull a man in motion and have him grab his hamstring and fall down, waving to the ref. Now, have another full five-minute stoppage. Line up exactly as before, same motion and all, if they show the same D... gotcha. Do this every single time they pull their fake injury. Suggested Rule change: For safety of participants, a player leaving the game due to injury may not re-enter the game until (a) a change of possession has occurred AND (b) player is cleared by NCAA Official Physician. In the event said player is re-injured identically (e.g. leg cramps, turned ankle) he may not re-enter the game under any circumstance.
  7. Bwahahahahhah! Buncha fuckin' crybabies, gotta love it.
  8. Now, Ass Fungus is a pretty damn good band name, but it might make work even better as a stadium chant, with the same tempo and crowd participation as Texas! Fight! Ass! Fungus! Imagine Gus and Joel trying to understand the crowd and figure out what they were chanting.
  9. This young fella has mistaken bragging as arrogance. We aren't arrogant at all, just stating - and acting - on facts. Yeah, well, maybe they're somewhat related, but here's the deal: "It ain't braggin' if yuh ackshully done it." -- Jerome H. "Dizzy" Dean
  10. Stunt on these hoes. Bludgeon these Fools.
  11. Great! Now tell us about the time you helped the LSU fans find the stadium.
  12. Poor aggy. Pooooorr aggy. Pooooooooooooorrrr aggy. DADDY lives in their heads. RENT FREE
  13. Tex Long

    Longhorn Network

    There should be an opening in Finebaum's call-in segment for a Horn to offer up aggy nooze. That ought to be on at least three or five times a week. I'm thinking it could be scripted by Randolph and Thujone, with a little help from "sources". Occasional offers to meet other callers in the parking lot or at the tailgate.
  14. Hey, pay attention. Those are special ketchup popsicles, made with MAROON CARROTS.
  15. I can call you aggy, and aggy, when you call me you can call me Daddy.
  16. Chestnutt's bunt was with 2 strikes, about five seconds after I 'splained to Miz Long how come the fielders moved back and how come you don't bunt with 2 strikes.
  17. This is an accurate assessment, and it reflects the aggy attitude across both athletics and academics. The truth is, aggy is not a destination, it's a stepping-stone for coaches and a lowered expectation for students. It's sad, but it's true, and the sooner aggy accepts that reality, the more respect they will earn.
  18. Welp... if we're going to get all technical about "little brother", let's remember that aggy was created as nothing more than one College, of The University of Texas. It stayed that way for a long time - as realized in their Spirit song, which needed to have its words changed from "... the Aggies are we, we are from Texas AMC" to "... the Aggies so true, we are from Texas AMU" to preserve the rhyme, after they got permission to call themselves a University. They knew. Hell, Texas College of Mines knew they were more of a brother to aggy, well before becoming UTEP. So, aggy, the bottom line is that in fact, Texas is not a brother to you at all, not big brother, certainly not little brother. Texas was, is, and will always be: YOUR DADDY. Hook'em.
  19. Ultimately, it would not be news that your little brother stuffed beans up his nose - again. It's news because a) it was a fifty-pound bag of beans, and b) he's forty years old.
  20. Woulda beeb better if she followed her Life Script and jumped in with "That motherfucker is not real!"
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