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Tex Long

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Everything posted by Tex Long

  1. You're partly right. First one should be 3?, prolly. The ? is for unsure if actually dickless. NTTAWWT. To be fair, these days it can be hard to tell from a pic, with their clothes on.
  2. Sounds like she needs a monkey. And a pole.
  3. The Best Little Glory Holes in Texas is a fucking awful name for a band, but a great name for a publication for... well, you know... EDIT NTTAWWT
  4. We seem to have more good-to-great receivers than any of our opponents have good-to-great dbacks. That leads me to look for more rotation of our men than the dbs will be able to deal with. If the OL provides time for Ewers/Manning, there should be ridiculous numbers of deep shots available.
  5. How's your [REDACTED]?
  6. PM The Doctor of the neighborhood.
  7. Tex Long

    SEC Network

    They're just butthurt because we didn't try harder to steal their baseball corch.
  8. Between the Satya contaminated and the jumpers into the sarchasm, we're going to be short on popcorn sooner rather than later.
  9. Intel on opponents' pitching is crucial. Nothing raises your winning percentage like being able to tell your hitters "this guy wants to throw strikes on the first pitch, you're a right-handed power guy, and he throws low and away to you, sit on that for that first one." I'm assuming from watching both aggy and vols that Schloss and Max are all over that. QUESTION: do NCAA rules prohibit regular season opponent scouting and taping? The Meatchicken hoohaw last season put "the rules book" front and center, and as I recall, it mentioned scouting as okay in tournament situations and pertained to basketball for sure, but I don't know if it was also for baseball - no good reason why not.
  10. Some things are true, even if they never happened.
  11. Too soon?
  12. Trev is a bean counter. When the ones who can make your organization great leave, you're going to get bean counters who don't understand where the beans come from, and it doesn't matter whether they can actually count beans or not... you're on the road to becoming Boeing. Welcome to College Station, Trev. Which aisle gas the popcorn?
  13. Eh. The whole thing there is either they're getting paid, they've turned into RealAggy, or they believe being there will give them a better opportunity to get to the Show. Some or all of that. In any event, goodbye and good luck to them. They're gonna need it.
  14. The correct response to that behavior is to wait until the stoppage is over, line up, pull a man in motion and have him grab his hamstring and fall down, waving to the ref. Now, have another full five-minute stoppage. Line up exactly as before, same motion and all, if they show the same D... gotcha. Do this every single time they pull their fake injury. Suggested Rule change: For safety of participants, a player leaving the game due to injury may not re-enter the game until (a) a change of possession has occurred AND (b) player is cleared by NCAA Official Physician. In the event said player is re-injured identically (e.g. leg cramps, turned ankle) he may not re-enter the game under any circumstance.
  15. Bwahahahahhah! Buncha fuckin' crybabies, gotta love it.
  16. Now, Ass Fungus is a pretty damn good band name, but it might make work even better as a stadium chant, with the same tempo and crowd participation as Texas! Fight! Ass! Fungus! Imagine Gus and Joel trying to understand the crowd and figure out what they were chanting.
  17. Was that before or after she wasn't pregnant?
  18. This young fella has mistaken bragging as arrogance. We aren't arrogant at all, just stating - and acting - on facts. Yeah, well, maybe they're somewhat related, but here's the deal: "It ain't braggin' if yuh ackshully done it." -- Jerome H. "Dizzy" Dean
  19. Stunt on these hoes. Bludgeon these Fools.
  20. Great! Now tell us about the time you helped the LSU fans find the stadium.
  21. Poor aggy. Pooooorr aggy. Pooooooooooooorrrr aggy. DADDY lives in their heads. RENT FREE
  22. Tex Long

    Longhorn Network

    There should be an opening in Finebaum's call-in segment for a Horn to offer up aggy nooze. That ought to be on at least three or five times a week. I'm thinking it could be scripted by Randolph and Thujone, with a little help from "sources". Occasional offers to meet other callers in the parking lot or at the tailgate.
  23. Hey, pay attention. Those are special ketchup popsicles, made with MAROON CARROTS.
  24. I can call you aggy, and aggy, when you call me you can call me Daddy.
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