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Tex Long

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Everything posted by Tex Long

  1. I would rep this 100 times, if I could. I'm guessing summa y'all have never in your sweet life had some motherfucker six inches shorter and fifty pounds lighter than you launch himself at you, land half a dozen punches before you could even react, and found yourself on your ass in the dirt with blood running down your face and half your bottom lip hanging on your chin. It's happened to me, and I ain't ashamed. I learned. That message from Valmy makes me think it mighta happened to him, and he learned. I'm just sayin', it might not happen this time, but if it does, don't be surprised, and be ready to get back up and kick that little fucker's ass.
  2. tu Mami
  3. +rep : Decent scan, would be a strong first line for a song. NOTE: wedding to be officiated by ship's Captain.
  4. Best advice here is exactly the same thing that I said after reading #1. Uber Black. Sorry your wife doesn't drive, or alternatively the "shower" is going to involve mass quantities of alcoholic beverages or D9 gummies and she's gonna need a ride. I mean, if it was my problem, I'd already be in the doghouse for giving my wife shit when she seriously asked for such a "favor" for a Saturday afternoon in November, when she should know perfectly well I would be planning an all-day drinking session. You might also want to point out to her that anyone who is dumb enough to plan a wedding "shower" on Thanksgiving weekend is likely to be someone with whom you really have little in common and would be best avoided for the remainder of your marriage. More than you wanted, no doubt, but the very idea caused a serious reaction over a goodly portion of Surly. Oh, and one more time: Uber. Black.
  5. Just got back from the pees conference, prolly.
  6. Better yet, at AFD you go 24 on and 48 off. Even better, you have Kelly Days, where you skip a day on, so you have five consecutive days off. Kellys have some weird scheduling but I'll bet there's a Surly who can tell you what it is. Seems like a lot of firefighters get a side gig of their own going, since they have that extra time off.
  7. Coach Potatohead. Oh boy sums it up nicely. I have a mild - extremely mild - desire to see at least a little bit of it. Hopefully, I'll forget and punch up Archer reruns instead.
  8. Highly unlikely. What are the odds?
  9. Your mind is not Right.
  10. Who's got a clip of the aggy-nebby game where an aggy player has a handful of a nebby player's scrotum, doing his level best to rip it off... the nebby guy is buried face down in a pile, and starts kicking wildly, trying to save his nuts... and the ref calls penalty on husker. Pelini goes apeshit on the sideline, and refs throw a flag on him. Nebby winds up with 30 yards of penalties as a result of their player nearly receiving a non-surgical castration. One of the better vids from a game where Horn fans devoutly pray for asteroids. Would serve as a reminder of aggy perfidy. C'mon, guys... who's got it?
  11. Only bet I see here is that the bookies who read this thread are salivating non-stop. Keep bringing the lulz, and getcher wallets out.
  12. As much as I like what Sark is doing, he already showed us once that he didn't fucking get it. Summa y'all got the same problem, and I feel the call of duty to make whatever pathetic attempts I can to help you get your mind right. I sincerely hope that the Light of Darkness has been revealed to you, because - and I promise you this is Truth - those pathetic sistercousinwife fucking morons will do their utmost to fuck us in every orifice we have or can imagine having. Nothing in their miserable meth-gobbling lives could possibly make life worthwhile to them than waylaying our arrogant burnt orange asses on the way to our first SEC Championship in our first SEC season. They couldn't care less about SECSECSEC, they only and always care about shitting on Texas. Charlie didn't get it. Sark didn't get it. And if you don't get it, you're fucked. Get your mind right... time is getting short. Hook'em
  13. Replace "Roku" with "Fire Stick" and I'm right there with you.
  14. That's why you never use Mackrel Whip.
  15. Funny thing - was just talking with a friend about that exact injury-prone QB scenario.
  16. Gon' take a high brown woman, might take one or two mo'
  17. I still don't understand how a guy at FSU can watch DJU play at Clemson, then watch him at OreState, and think "Hell, yeah, here's a guy we can win with!"
  18. Beyond the drops, it sounds like there are other problems, which might be gathered unter the umbrella of lack of, or even counter, culturization. For some reason I have a feeling that he may have had a poor attitude toward being coached. Learning to not drop catchable balls, always running the called route, learning blocking techniques... lack of effort seems like possible problems. I dunno. Like many of you, I had high hopes for him. Too bad. Wish him well, just don't expect it.
  19. Yes, but it will include critiques of QB gurus failing to fix the footwork of an NFL QB. At least until a real EDGE rusher pancakes Quinn and breaks eleven ribs. NOTE: Assuming he gets signed by an NFL team. Action in non-exhibition game not necessary. Might include Canadian or European professional team.
  20. Well, fuck, we need to be accurate here, so let's start by admitting that the ball did not travel 45 yards through the air. It covered about 47 yards of ground, and assuming the flight is basically a parabola, with a chord of 47 and an axial height of half that, the flight path was more like 65 to 70 yards. Serious answer. Where were we?
  21. Reach over, Mama, and hand me my travelin' shoes...
  22. Senior Day New Tradition. Never change, aggy, never change. New Tradition: Senior Day is next-to-last game, always home, always FCS or other guaranteed W, to send those boys off to Real Life. Real Life Its Own Self.
  23. Suppose we go to Pods. Your schedule is 3-2-2-2, 9 games as most of us desire. The seasons alternate the 2-2-2 in other pods, and the home-and-home is every other year. Don't have to call it Pods, just a template for scheduling. I only looked at us, maybe the view for all 16 teams gets nasty, but what we see here looks pretty good. Home-and-home is just alternating. In the example, NORTH looks pretty anemic - I was just trying to set up geographically. Example: WEST: Texas, aggy, OU, LSU NORTH: Arky, Mizzou, Kentucky, USCe SOUTH: Ole Miss, MissSt, Bama, Auburn EAST: Fla, UGa, Tenn, Vandy Season 1 we play aggy, OU, LSU, arky, mizzou, Ole Miss, Auburn, Tenn, Fla Season 2 we play aggy, OU, LSU, Kentucky, USCe, Bama, MissSt, UGa, Vandy Every two years, you play every other conference member.
  24. This is correct and is the proper attitude. Rep that man.
  25. I probably haven't paid much attention, over the years, to knob-slobbing of play callers. Maybe it's that, or maybe it's just that now the Master is calling our plays, but it sometimes seems the kudos are over the top. On the other hand, it might be the years of GDGD using animal crackers, dartboards, or random license plate numbers (joking - he was calling whatever Mack told him to call, and giving Mack credit when it worked) followed by Potato head and MensaTom not calling diddle-e-squat. Whatever, when it works, it's Bee-fucking-yootyfull.
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