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Assman

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Assman

  1. Shouldn't that be a touchback and SD ball? He wasn't down by contact and threw the ball out of the back of the endzone. Or does the endzone have special protection after an INT like kneeling a kickoff?
  2. Can you recommend some preemergents to lay down now on my St. Augustine? Preferably something I can find at Lowe's/HD if there are some that fit the bill.
  3. Agreed. You should probably just donate it to someone poor like me and write it off.
  4. Got mine done yesterday. The needle to the nuts was the most pain I've ever experienced in my life, by far. I let out a loud "mother fucker!" that was probably heard in the parking lot. Then when he started the cauterizing, I felt a fuck ton of pain there too, so he gave me another shot of the Lidocaine, and that one hurt worse than the first. He was confused why I felt so much pain, but he did say that he's had bad batches of Lidocaine that haven't worked like they should. Either way, the pain on day 2 has subsided significantly. At rest I feel nothing, but when I move around it feels like a constant light tap to the nuts. In the end, I'm glad I did it, but I'd rather star in an ISIS propaganda video than take another needle to the nuts.
  5. I got a vasectomy yesterday, and the cherry on top of my shit sandwich was that I would get to sit on my ass and watch NSD coverage all day. At this point I think I'd rather just take another needle to the nuts.
  6. Is Shepherd's commitment being live streamed?
  7. Got mine scheduled for next week. Doc moved his surgery days from Fridays to Tuesdays so it looks like reruns of Saved by the Bell instead of the Masters.
  8. Back to the winter weeds discussion... I have been deployed the last 3 Jan-May but am actually home this year. I'd like to really step up my yard game this year since we may be selling the house this summer. My yard is mostly St. Augustine with a few pockets of random mixed grasses. What can I do right now to help my yard this Spring and Summer? I have a lot of weeds popping up in the back, but the front is fairly clean.
  9. This team looks like the basketball version of a Charlie Strong coached team: low IQ, unmotivated, and under achieving. Being 10 games below .500 in conference in the past 3.5 years with 3 top 10 recruiting classes is 100% on the coaches.
  10. Well that settles it. We're having Torchy's tonight.
  11. If your last statement is true, then yes, that's where you want to be.
  12. Only must-sign of that group is DLaw.
  13. Since we know Ginger did enough to save his job, the following need to be the Cowboys' offseason priorities: 1. Fire Linehan/Moore, and find an OC/QB coach that can play to Dak's strengths and actually develop him 2. Pray Travis Fredrick comes back full strength 3. Draft a Safety high enough so Jeff Heath never plays another snap 4. ????? 5. Super Bowl
  14. By your logic, if I walk into a bar and see Kate Beckinsale and Alison Brie, I have 2 to 1 odds of fucking them because there's 2 of them.
  15. This stat is pretty much meaningless considering the situation. With a little over 2 minutes to go, you knew the Rams would run the ball to kill clock. I think everyone would agree that the Cowboys chances of stacking the box and stopping the run and forcing a punt are greater than recovering an onside kick. This wasn't your run of the mill opening drive where the playbook is wide open.
  16. You there, fill it up with petroleum distillate, and re-vulcanize my tires - posthaste!
  17. I like how the officer that shot her says "What happened?" after she goes down like he's clueless that he just fired a round through her back. UFB.
  18. We stayed at an AirBnB just north of the La Monnaie De Munt (on the same block). There are a ton of restaurants in the area and there is an outdoor market place just north of it. It's also an easy walk south to the Grand Place. Also highly recommend the Delirium Bar. Yes, it's kind of touristy, but Delirium makes some of the best damn beer in the world imo, and getting to drink it there out of a boot like a tourist asshole is my kind of fun. Also met a lot of hot British and Spanish chicks there.
  19. Ain't a god damn thing wrong with that.
  20. Hey buddy, there's a book for requests next to the DJ.
  21. Just did the same thing. Never heard "gimme hat" before now. I don't have an issue wearing a hat indoors unless you're at church, eating dinner at someone's home, or during the national anthem.
  22. Back in Oct when we had that really strong cold front come through N. Texas and lows dipped down in the 20s, I passed by a Discount Tire on my way to work one morning and the line for the tire pressure check was spilling out in the street. Couldn't believe how many people A). Were stupid/lazy enough to not check their own tire pressure and B). Didn't understand how cold temperatures effect air pressure. I bet they got into their cars that morning, put the key in the ignition, and their dash lit up like a Christmas tree with all the TPMS warnings and thought "zomg wat is happening!"
  23. Assman

    B12 Coaches

    Too much work to type out "age"?
  24. Michael McCann killed 5 hookers
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