Pimphand

Klatt preview (timestamped to skip Michigan @ Ohio State)

Pate preview & prediction...

Biggest game in aggy histry? Definitely doesn't even rank anywhere close in the biggest game in Texas history LMFAO

I don't think many of us can tolerate more than 12 hours there....

Cringefest here...

You fuckers ready for the cringe?

With 2lane getting smoked your 3 loss champ is likely in

Asswipes in the northeast and Midwest spend the vast majority of winter indoors watching TV and so they make for a more fervent fan base especially for basketball. The SEC rednecks are rabid about football and baseball but college baseball gets significantly less media attention.

This is what we need to be telling them post game.

Fact: Sark cares more about QE's legacy and NFL draft status than this game.

Guess losing their meth riddled older brother was more traumatic to their psyche than anyone could have predicted

LULZ: https://www.espn.com/college-football/story/_/id/42626961/college-football-bottom-10-week-13-roll-tide-alabama

Didn't take long to put this game out of reach. 2nd play sack, 3rd play INT

Like rats from a sinking pontoon boat. May need to change thread title to LSU coming up dry.

From the birthplace of... TEXAS!!!!

Spider rote a pome: My classes just begun at Collin County Community Collage and I allready got a assinement in my Creative Riting class. I suppose to come up with a originale pome all my own.As you tsips now, aint much else Spider can thank off exsept the big game this weakend between the fightin Texas Aggies and the Noter Dame. So hears what I come up with... Look Out Noter Dame Look out Irish, Look out Noter Dame. Perpair to loose this football game. I laff at you domers that boast off tradition. We the ones with bonfire and tunnel vision. You may have the golden dome and the Cathlick Pope. We has maroon karrots and a fullback on dope. You may have NCs and Highsmens to boot. We has boy cheerleeders in ice cream sutes. You may have the 4 horsmen and a fella name Gipper. We has 4H Clubs and 300 pound strippers. You may have Newt Rockny and that old Irish luck. We has RC Slocum and the seckrataries he's (bin frendly with). You may laff at our shaved heads and our hick overalls. Just wate till we bend over and skweeze our aggie balls. You may mock us and you may tease us. But we goeing to turd on touchdown Jesus. gig'em

Naw aggy coughed up that booty to ND then NIU then Syracuse who might lose it to da U

I will start... I was blown away with the sound that could come out of the handheld gameboy sadly the rest of the M2 soundrack lacked but this one made me ready to kill all the metroids

I remember back on January One 1999 I went to the Cotton Bowl cuzz my Lord and Saver was a actin as the Missippy State head coach.I drunk up about eight measures a vodka fore kickoff and I was a swangin cowbells with my Missippy brethren like they was lamb carcasses on the hook after another meat judgin vicktree. Come hafftime I done added bout seven pints a Cotton Bowl keg beer to my bladder an I was swole up like a pregnant cow dog, soes I went a looking fer the john. Seein how the piss line extended ten tractor langths out the door I kept a walkin and turnt a corner facing some closed elevador doors. I took a chance an whipped 'er out right there and then. I wanna take this moment to thank God, Jackie Sherrill, and Bucky Richardson that I was able to finish without them doors openin. I dont thank I coulda survived a Dallas Cop billy clubbin in my grain n barley soaked state. Come the fourth qwarter this longhorn fella behind me kept yellin, "Hey Sherrill, I hear John Wayne Gasey used to dress up like a clown too!" I wanted to confront this fella, but I dident fill like gettin my *** whooped, and besides I done added bout eight more pints a beer to my belly since the haff and my brain was swimmin somewheres tween the Skilla and the Caribs. My innerds was a bubblin up sumpin fierce soes I went a stumblin twords the john a figgerin to upheave. This is where I might get a little sentamental. You see, all this talk about renavatin the Cotton Bowl makes me sad. Cuzz that mornin as I stumbled threw the bathroom stall and the rust spat from its tired hinges, I fell to the tiled floor where the grit has turned green with age and bad aim; desperately I gripped the base of that cherished old potty, lurched my flushed face over the discolored edge of the worn creaky seat, and emancipated the new year's contents of my soul into that cracked porcalin relic. At that moment, I knew without a shadow of a doubt, that the kin folk of Kyle Rote and Doak Walker once sat n shat upon that same sacred tank. ----- ... give me a moment to wipe the tears from my eyes... ----- Folks, I hope you understand why the Cotton Bowl can never be renavated. Theys just too much histry in that house. The Cotton Bowl's an ALLSOME place, Amen

Hullalaboo Dinesh Dinesh Hullalaboo Dinesh DineshHello, is this the room of Ap-ple-white? Please do not think that you will sleep to-night I got your number off the In-ter-net I have a feeling your stomach is up-setSo good luck to back up QB Chris Simms How do want your cereal in the morn? (with no milk!) And goodnight to all you Texas Longhorns We're gonna call you all till--Ring-a-ring-a-ring Ring-a-ring-a-room Tough Luck, This Sucks, Smoke a Bowl with Toombs!Hullalaboo Dinesh Dinesh Hullalaboo Dinesh DineshHello, is this the room of Coach Mack Brown? I bet you're dreaming about Ran-dy-Mc-Cown I hope you enjoyed your stay at Ramada Inn And here's hoping that you come a-gainThe Eyes of Texas must not get their rest so that the Horns will not play well (play like Hell!) So, goodnight to all you Texas Longhorns We're gonna call you all till--Ring-a-ring-a-ring Ring-a-ring-again Rough Stuff, Real Tough, We're Ramada Inn!Call all the Longhorns Call all the Longhorns Call all the Longhorns YAWN! Ay!The Longhorns are not sleeping The Longhorns are not sleeping The Longhorns are not sleeping YAWN! Ayyyyyy!------------------ Hook'em!

And a couple in the '10s too Big Tex went full Thích Quảng Đức self immolation protest mode because of it.