I actually have a friend who killed himself two weekends ago. He apparently struggled with mental health and was at best mentally/emotionally abusive to his fiancé. At worst perhaps physically. I don't know the details.
She broke it off in January and was standing her ground. He killed himself on Mother’s Day, leaving a 10 year old daughter behind, because she wouldn’t get back with him. I'm sure she was named in his suicide note.
It is 1000% that guy's fault that he killed himself. It is 0% her fault.
"I'm going to kill myself unless you do _____" is abuser talk used to control people.
Derka, almost all of us like you, appreciate you, and want you to be well. But that is on YOU. YOU have to take action to change yourself and better yourself.
If you need financial help to receive mental help, we'll start a GoFundMe and give the money to a 3rd party who can help make sure it benefits you. I'll contribute 4 figures.
No one wants you to hurt yourself. No one wants you to be miserable. We all want you to be happy and here with us sharing your basketball knowledge, even if we sometimes disagree with your perspective. Please take care of yourself.
That's all I have to say. I will try not to engage, but I am not the source of your issues. YOU are the source of your issues and it's incumbent on YOU to take action to get better.