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Bama Llama

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Everything posted by Bama Llama

  1. I got the perfect grade D film for Rifftrax. Filmed in rural Eutaw, Alabama and directed by Michael Douglas’s brother, it’s Jaws of Satan! Fritz Weaver starred as a priest. You can hesr the pitch- This is Jaws meets The Exorcist meets Deliverance.
  2. Well, not exactly No hard feelings . . . Nudge, nudge, wink, wink!
  3. There’s the fucking rub. Killer psychos just off yourselves and be worm food.
  4. Hands up errbody who wants to brunch on the deck and watch USCE at A&M at 11:00 Saturday . . .
  5. I mean, I like chicken, I like pimento cheese and I like honey but not all mashed together. As the little baby bib kid used to say (now very un PC but IDGAF), I’SE FIGNA VOMICK!
  6. Our remaining schedule: 10/21 vs Tennessee 11/04 vs LSU 11/11 @ Kentucky 11/18 vs Chattanooga 11/11 @ Auburn Based on yesterday’s haphazard, unfocused, second half derpfest, snatch a salvage win from the jaws of embarrassment performance, I have faint hope in this year’s final outcome. Milroe doesn’t seem to be able to detect pressure coming presnap or postsnap, and his aggy game downfield touch wasn’t there yesterday in the second half. Tennessee reminds me of Texas, Daniels should dissect us, especially if the defense is gassed, Kentucky will be tough or we will make it tough, and the Philistines of the Plains will pull something out of Freeze’s ass to make that game a gut check. Well, fuck me. After the Tua to Devanta title on 2nd and 26, I vowed never to bitch about Alabama football again and I’m not now. Considering how this season looked after the Texas game, I should be thankful, and I am. But Jesus, Mary and Joseph, what the fuck is going on with the O line? Thank god for our kicker and punter. Roll Tide anyway. We’re still in it. Hope, ever how slight, springs eternal.
  7. Last road game went poorly for aggy. Add 2x noise and fan numbers in Neyland compared to Miami. Add Jimbo gives no shits factor. Smokey rapes Reveille.
  8. Time was, Open Date was commonly called “Off Week.” In 1969, each week during football season, Rice architecture students stretched a big banner along the second floor of Anderson Hall with the legend “Beat LSU” or “Beat A&M,” and so on. You all must already know what happened when Off Week arrived. The banner lasted until about, oh, 10:00 a.m. Anyway, in fond remembrance of those long ago halcyon days at the Institute on South Main, BEAT OFF WEEK!
  9. Bama Llama

    Outcoached

    Make this go away. Please. Exorcise it with holy water. Takes me straight back to our CFP nightmare vs Clemson a few years ago. Don’t despair, Surlies. Horns are rising. We, otoh, are a derp in progress but did find a way to win thanks to Jimbodupery and some actual defense late. Milroe situational awareness sorely lacking but I revere his efforts. Dead ringer for big jaw man meme.
  10. Thanks, Chine and well done, gents. Destin resembles Bobby Petrino too much to suit me, especially today. Was the Texas beat down a watershed like the 2010 Rose Bowl? Time will tell, brothers and sisters. Refreshing to see thoughtful words expressed on this topic.
  11. My high school band did the halftime show at the 1967 or 1968 Bears-Falcons game in the flying saucer of old Fulton County Stadium. We were seated on folding chairs on the field behind one of the end zones. I wish I could say Butkus ran over me or I saw him close up but that would be a lie, which is strictly forbidden on Surly, right? I do vividly recall Gayle Sayers flying straight at us bringing it to the house on a simple sweep for about 60 yards. Butkus was the Duke Wayne of football. Plus, he was not acting. RIP number 51.
  12. I had to appear at a court hearing in Monroeville in the 90s. The circuit judge’s honest to god name was Robert E. Lee Key. When the hearing, held in the “new” Soviet style Monroe County Courthouse constructed in the 60s, was concluded, I wandered over to the old Victorian courthouse, the one which was duly replicated in Mockingbird, to check and see if I could peek in a window. It had been converted into some kind of museum. Mirabile dictu, the joint was unlocked. I walked right in and clomped through the courtroom, down to the bench, into the jury box, up to the balcony. That’s where the juju grabbed me, when I thought of the line, “Stand up, Miss Jean Louise. Your father’s passing.” i was 45 or so then. It was one of those moments. I thought about white Southern males and a lifetime of being judged racist by association. I thought of the beautiful and kind black people I had known. I thought of how Harper Lee and Hollywood and Gregory Peck finally got something right. I stood there in that dusty old place, the late afternoon sun sending shafts of light through the dust I had raised, and wept. I was just thankful and hopeful.
  13. Bama Llama

    tOSU at ND

    Ryan Day has morphed into the head Hawkman from 1980 Flash Gordon:
  14. Hayek was and is gorgeous, si, but back in 1996 my wife and daughter were so hot for Antonio Banderas and kept the Blockbuster VHS tape version so long we had to buy the fucking thing. I might add, they secretly kept the tape.
  15. Bratty little kid: I HATE Boom-Pah! Mama Llama, Baby Llama and I have “must watch through to the end” anytime our lives intersect with Mr. Hobbs. Hobbs’s overdramatized narration is so fine, especially the lost at sea scene.
  16. I thought Bryce Young nailed his Fansville segment last year: "They're my family now, CJ." and gives the kid the dead-eyed look.
  17. Marcel Dareus and Colt’s shoulder can funally be consigned to the dust heap of history. Is this a similar watershed? Time will tell. Sark sez, “Veni, vidi, vici, motherfuckers!” My crimson ball cap’s off to you denizens of Surly. Peace out while I kick my wounds. Wallow in all the success, Horns. You have earned it and richly deserve it.
  18. Onto the plain of tailgetery strode the six hundred, or The Four as it were. May the ghosts of Bryant, Denny, Wade, Thomas, Bible, Royal and all them guys smile down upon you on this glorious day. Beauty is truth and truth beauty. Everything else is bullshit. Hook Em and Roll Tide. This is now officially real. Bravo to you for the journey. May you all survive and remember the best parts of it.
  19. You made Hokkaido a reality. You are not unlike the host team, for your Surly Gonzo pluck and grit has writ your names in burnt orange flame. I hope to hell you didn’t actually eat too much of that shit. You guys must unfurl an obscene banner at the beginning of GameDay in (checks time) eight hours and five minutes). On to Walmart for poster board, paint, and long pink dick shaped balloons!
  20. If the defecation has hit the ventilation and you interact with Tuscaloosa or UA po-leece, here’s your man. Trust me. And say nothing until he arrives.
  21. I salute you guys completely. You’re living the dream. All that’s missing- Keith Richards and an overturned ______ parish deputy’s SUV. Please fo me a favor about 40 miles after you cross into Alabama, you will pass the exit for Boligee, 1919 birthplace and final resting place of my deare sainted mither. Lean on that Horn RV hofn one time for a sweet, kind lady. keep the cruise control engaged. Alabama State Troopers not known for perspicacity . . . or leniency. Godspeed to the Druid City!
  22. Just record it and avoid your phone or talking to anyone with even a .01% chance of watching the game or knowing the score. You may just survive this lol Fuck, it’s worth a try. Nothing more awful, excruciating and exhilarating than watching a gut wrencher in the blind 24 hours after the fact. I’ll report back if successful. May the outcome of this game not be decided by any official.
  23. Wow, which of the 4 will be toting your balls in their purse? Out of all the games this season, this one should be non-negotiable. Yeah, yeah. You have to trust me on this one. Some things even trump football. I assure you, my chi will be there in spirit. I’m still dog cussing the back judge in the ‘65 Orange Bowl for waving off the linesman’s TD call on Joe Namath’s 4th down run. BTW, kudos to Texas for sending the traveling pep band. Bama punked out last year rather than sit the pep band up high at DKR. That was a pussy move. Horns fans and players will get to hear The Eyes and Texas Fight! in Tuscaloosa. I’ll be watching somehow.
  24. I flat out weep involuntarily every time I see the sweet sad hooker sing out “Aux arms, citoyens!” at the crescendo of the La Marseillaise scene. I know what’s coming and the tears just flow. That great anthem was never performed better than Rick’s house band did it in this film. And the way Laszlo doesn’t hesitate; when he hears the Germans singing, he hurries down the stairs from Rick’s office, goes right up to the band leader, says in that great accent “Play La Marseillaise! Pleh eet!” Band leader looks up at Rick and Rick gives him “the nod.” My favorite moment in film.
  25. This weekend I have to drive my wife, daughter, and two of my wife’s best girl homies to a family wedding, mandatory attendance by me or life as I know it ends. No fucking way will I be able to preserve isolation. I’ll be like the insufferable asshole on the insurance commercial wreaking havoc at the wedding and reception trying to watch the big game. God dammit all. I hereby curse alla yinz with innumerable video reviews.
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