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Everything posted by Bama Llama
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Bevo would be happier on a real grass field. You could even put some bluebonnets heere and there around the outparcels. The Horns coaching staff must like this turf's traction factor or something because I damn well know the athletic department can afford a fresh real turf sod field every week of the year. This was one helluva college football game, the best I've seen since UGA and OU in that Rose Bowl. The drab-ass, shiny turf was literally the only negative for me. I expected the Horns to win going away and LSU to shit the bed with numerous procedure and personal foul penalties, but they showed more poise than is typical for LSU. This majestic showpiece of a stadium would be complete if it had a real grass field. Good luck the rest of the way, Horns. You guys should win out. I think the world of Jalen Hurts, but he has a hard time with multiple bogeys. When he starts bailing out to the right and going backward, the play's over. Thanks for a hellacious, entertaining game. Maybe you can return the favor next year in Baton Rouge.
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The way too early 2019 LSU at Texas game discussion
Bama Llama replied to 4th and 5's topic in Football
UGA was a 12-point favorite in January, right? So, Horns should beat LSU by what, eleventy million? OVER UNDER ADVENTURES 13 - LSU unsportmanlike-targeting-misc. personal foul major penalties 6 - LSU offense flagged for false starts because noise noise noise 10 - Time stoppages for LSU players with leg cramps or pretending to cramp 7 - Gratuitous close up crotch or cleavage shots of LSU Golden Girls (please, oh please) 5 - Gratuitous close up ass shots of Texas chaps babes 67 - UT band plays Texas Fight! 13 - LSU fans to ER for one reason or another 8 - Chris Fowler screams TOOOUUUUCHHHHDDOOOOWNNNN! 0 - Missed LSU field goals All a yiz sonsabitches who get to be there in person better have an epic blast. Ole "Llama will be watching and pulling for quality football and hoping the refs stay out of it. -
Reuben is like that memorable lyric in "Hungry Heart": "Like a river that don't know where it's goin', I took a wrong turn and I just kept goin."
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Last Tango got my attention when Brando said, "Get the butter," and I rather liked it. I prefer it to 95% of films since Last Tango. If your eyes are dry during Casablanca when the hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold sings out during "La Marseillaise," you may have reptilian DNA. I drove 35 miles and paid ripoff prices for ticket, popcorn and a soft drink only to find myself nodding off during Spectre, the latest Bond film - a waste of the actors', producers' and my time and money. This thread is so beautifully bizarro - name "best" movies we saw but didn't like <or> didn't see but were somehow "best"? - I am 16 again, staring at an SAT answer sheet as my #2 pencil snaps in two. But it's stimulated some good movie posts so fuck it - good on the OP.
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As long as the consignment duds and your son's face and hair are reasonably clean, the judge won't give a shit. I saw a lady judge send a guy home to get his nasty ass cleaned up and change clothes, made him wait when he got back to the end of the docket, then threw the book at him. It's a respect thing.
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Clever and funny as shit.
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Amen x 1,000. Forrest Gump was a serious flashback. I was eleven years old on June 11, 1963 when that fuckhead George Wallace "stood in the schoolhouse door" in Tuscaloosa, less than a mile from my home. Some neighborhood pals and I were holed up in a treehouse in full Alamo siege mode (slingshots and BB guns) while National Guard troop trucks rumbled up and down our street and Guard helicopters flew overhead. Unaware the nonviolent events to come had been scripted in Washington and Montgomery, we were expecting Armageddon to break out at any moment. Fast forward to a Friday night in September, 1994 before an Alabama home game. It was a truly visceral experience watching newly-released "Forrest Gump" in a packed out Tuscaloosa theater. When Forrest, sporting that dead-solid-perfect early sixties uniform and single-bar helmet, caught the kickoff in a checkerboarded end zone and zigzagged all the way back through the hated Tennessee Vols, every last hair on the back of my neck stood up as the theater audience went apeshit. In one second I was transported back thirty years back to games I had witnessed during that same era. The end zone checkerboard detail was a nice touch. When Bama played Tennessee in Birmingham in those years, one end zone was checkerboarded crimson and white and the other orange and white. Tennessee always brought a dude who paraded all around the field on a prancing, jet black Tennessee walking horse in the moments before kickoff, as the Vol band playing "Tennessee Waltz." I saw the Alabama home crowd give horse and rider a standing ovation, something you'd never see today. The references to JFK, Viet Nam, student protests, John Lennon's murder, crackerism, racial harmony and disharmony, drugs, music, true love and college life all really hit home. Bravo Winston Groom, bravo Robert Zemeckis, bravo Tom Hanks. The sound of Viet Cong rifle rounds ripping through elephant grass and human bodies haunts me still. No wonder vets have PTSD. My favorite line: Cracker asshole school admissions guy to young Forrest after nailing his mother: "Yew don't talk much, dew ya?" Forrest: "Ouggh! Ouggh! Ouggh!" Loved the book, loved the film, hated so much of the godawful shit those in power did in those days. This film brings it all back and does it with an impact. Not sure if it's true but I read in an interview with Winston Groom in a Mobile paper that his contract was so full of weasel clauses, he did not make a cent on the film's worldwide box office, which was $600 million at that time, likely another $600 million by now. Watch out what you sign, people.
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Watching devices (except me, now)
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Bingo.
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In random order; Sunrise The Commitments Silence of the Lambs To Kill A Mockingbird Casablanca The Third Man The Castle Monsieur Hulot's Vacation In Cold Blood Alien
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Be smart off the field. Your ass is worthless to the team if you are suspended from the team, declared ineligible, kicked out of school, in court, in jail, miss meetings, tear an ACL in a pickup game of hoops, or break your leg being a jackass on an ATV. Give maximum effort and focus every moment of every play in every practice, every game, every workout. Learn the playbook for your position group backwards, forwards and sideways; Develop keen situational awareness (e.g., punt return team DO NOT encroach on 4th and 4; dbs DO NOT give a ball carrier the extra shove into the bench after he's stepped out; QB have one eye on the fucking play clock); don't fucking touch an opponent above the neck. Appreciate your opportunity and make the most of it.
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Suck My Fat One, You Cheap Dime Store Hood
Bama Llama replied to Seasick Sailor's topic in Movies and TV
Yaaaaaa! Just reading those three simple words makes me want to run away like a cartoon character while simultaneously retracting my balls. -
Maybe the part where he goes to prison.
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"Have a seat over there" guy is flat ass broke, being evicted
Bama Llama replied to Gil Bang's topic in Movies and TV
"Sodomy, fellatio, cunnilingus, pederasty, Father, why do these words sound so nasty? Masturbation can be fun, Join the holy orgy Kama Sutra Ev'ry-oooooone." -
RGIII didn't have the MLB option. Yes, he got off to a great start until the Redskins curse caught up with him. Shit, if Murray can stay in one piece he may be the next Michael Vick.
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Somewhere a man in a burnt orange pimp suit and sombrero with dingleberries, large go cup in hand, is grinning like a possum on peyote..
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Murray should listen to Deion Sanders, who said, "Pick up the baseball and don't look back." He appears to be listening to way too many shadow advisors, all of whom will have their hands out for a piece of his NFL signing bonus. Once or twice per game he'll get trucked like the Quinnen Williams sack in the Bama game. And every NFL defense will cover better than any defense he faced in college. Granted he's quick, fast and elusive but I don't see his bones and joints and surviving more than a couple of NFL years, if that.
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I would pay good money to have been in the room when this was pitched to a studio. "Okay see, J.B., ya got the Hitler death mystery thing and the Bigfoot mystery thing! Can't miss, right?!" Shades of "The Jaws of Satan," a pitiful mashup of Jaws snd The Exorcist, in which a giant, demon-possessed cobra escapes from a wrecked circus train and terrorizes the helpless citizens of rural Alabama. Starring Fritz Weaver as a priest cursed by Druids and a fakey ass seven-foot snake. What the hell. I like Sam. I'm in.
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I observed, sometimes wincing, every snap Jalen Hurts took while he was at Alabama. If his passing game under Riley's wing improves as much between now and game one as it did under Dan Enos last year, especially at crunch time vs. UGA, he could be a Big XII factor. There is a zen thing with him that is hard to describe. There was immediate and obvious improvement getting the ball out with accuracy last year. And then there was his slump in the latter half of 2017 when, as my dear departed father-in-law said, he couldn't hit a bull in the ass with a bass fiddle, and bailed at the first sign of pressure. In the latter part of the 2017 season, if he started rolling right and backing up, one of three results was going to happen: running loss, complete pass loss or ugly incomplete pass. To his credit, he stayed away from picks and turnovers. We shall see, saith the blind man.
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How Much Drugs Did New Jets Coach Adam Gase Take?
Bama Llama replied to Vic Mackey's topic in Football
With those peepers the dude should just go ahead and legally change his last name to "Gaze." If he has any success at all with the Jets he'll become one-name entity unto himself simply known as "Gaze." I went to a Rice @ A&M game in like '80 or '81. Pregame, the guy in the Sammy Owl suit was strutting around the whole field on a 440 track if memory serves. About every hundred feet he would turn his butt to the Aggie crowd, bend over, flip his tail up and waggle his butt at Aggies, who would arise, enraged and yell and throw shit at him, it seemed to me with excessive zeal but then I thought, this is Aggieland. Sammy finally ended up on the Rice sideline and all 500 of us could see what pissed off the Aggies. A sign was taped to Sammy's butt, visible only when the tail was flipped up, featuring the Aggy logo with a nicely drawn small cap block "E" on each end - "EATME." Rice won the game despite trailing at the half and without making a single first down in the second half. -
Ridley deserved the knighthood for Alien alone. Saw this with my lovely bride in a packed theater before word was out about the chest bursting scene. There was a whooshing mass intake of breath immediately followed by 300 shrieks / groans, followed by several outright giggles as the little penis-squirrel with gnashing teeth wiggled and ran out the door. As a whole, this was art on film without gratuitous, nowadays mundane CGI. When you saw Harry Dean enter that dank space of dripping chains you knew his life expectancy was down to mere seconds. Finally, the uncoiling Alien on the escape pod shelf was sheer genius and terror. The exhausted audience was whimpering for it to just somehow end with at least one thing living other than the alien. And two made it. Hooray. Haven't missed anything by Ridley since Alien. None have been as good. Suspense increased scene by scene from start to finish. Hitchcock would be proud.
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The way too early 2019 LSU at Texas game discussion
Bama Llama replied to 4th and 5's topic in Football
All of the above may be true. But it will be well worth leaving the tailgate a little early on that steamy September evening (surely this will be the prime time game) to check out the full LSU band and Golden Girls as they assemble for a rendition of what Tiger fans call "Pregame." Timing is everything: (A) Find out where the visiting band forms up. (B) Get your ass to the point of that area which is nearest DKR. (C) Observe the band marching up in cadence, noting the nubile, agile and extremely pulchritudinous Golden Girls in the vanguard. As the entire mass marches to a halt, note carefully the glistening, pert nose of the nearest Golden Girl. (D) A drop of sweat will sliiide down and then drop through space into some tawny, divine cleavage. Believe me, it's worth doing. Then comes the classic Pregame trademark drumline intro and the four famous notes - DAHHH, DAH-DAHHHHH-DAT! and all the LSU fans howl and holla and go bat shit. After a few bars, the whole bouncing phalanx double times it into DKR. A great time will be had by all before the game even starts. -
Eli and Peyton have 4 rings between the two. How many other SEC QBs have won a ring? Joe Willie Namath, for one; Bart Starr for two others; Kenny Stabler for a fourth ring. That's off the top of my old gray head.
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The way too early 2019 LSU at Texas game discussion
Bama Llama replied to 4th and 5's topic in Football
This rat heuh, cher. The puyple juzzy deplete a Tyga's mojo essence, him.
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