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Bama Llama

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Everything posted by Bama Llama

  1. Bama Llama
    The toppermost of the poppermost. My first concert, 8/18/65, Atlanta Fulton County Stadium. Upper deck $4.50, all below $5.50. Bus charter from Alabama $5.00 more. Life changing. Good on yer, Johnny. Time wounds all heels (looking at YOU, Tricky Dick, John Mitchell and J. Evelyn Hoofer.
  2. Bama Llama
    This is like a Bizarroworld version of an episode of Fargo the season Ewan Macgregor played brothers. Such an innocent transaction, such a horrific result. Never trust a rat bastid.
  3. Bama Llama
    Curing hiccups in ten seconds with one teaspoon of creamy peanut butter. Masticate slowly and swallow. Guaranteed.
  4. Bama Llama
    I'm as Bama as it gets but I can't see this without hearing "Chariots of Fire" and expecting these guys to go slow-moing down the field like Clark and Rusty Griswold.
  5. Bama Llama
    Please napalm the Sprint ads with the quasi storm trooper bot and the twerpy spokesguy former Verizon turncoat. An absolute waste of the energy expended to produce and transmit this dreck.
  6. Bama Llama
    Saw the actual landing and Armstong's first step on a small black and white TV in a crowded junior college cafeteria in Saint-Malo, France in the middle of the fucking night July 21, 1969 local time. In the room were 50 or 60 French, German and American kids who had just graduated high school and were studying each other's languages and other attributes. No one griped about Vietnam, Nixon or cops bashing heads at the Chicago convention. Everyone, EVERYONE cheered and clapped when a human being set foot, sur la lune. There's no flag controversy; fuck politics. We thought then that we would all be visiting the moon routinely by now. What happened? Not feasible.
  7. Bama Llama
    "Louisville football is on a collision course with the national championship. The only variable is time." -- Howard Schnellenberger, 1985
  8. Bama Llama
    . . . and the college football championship in January - Horns v Bama redux? It could happen!
  9. Bama Llama
    Campground desk clerk Brian Doyle-Murray, blowing watermelon seeds into his hand, asking for the Griswolds' address: "We like to send out a mailer." The original story, as it appeared in National Lampoon, is well worth the read. https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/features/read-john-hughes-original-national-811591
  10. Bama Llama
    JF spent too much time cheerleading with his back to the field. Urbs had a nice surrender cobra / anxiety vogue pose in the second quarter. "Watching [B1G] football is like watching two mules fighting over a turnip." - Lewis Grizzard
  11. Bama Llama
    Dining out. Jamie's Restaurant, a superior burger joint on South Main across from the Shamrock Hilton in Houston in the late 60s early 70s, used a clever and efficient cure for hovering waitstaff interrupting you and your guests every three minutes, asking "How's everybody doing?" to accelerate tips and the burning and turning of your table. On each table sat a miniature metal flagpole with a tiny raise-and-lowerable Texas state flag on a little cord. When you needed a waiter, you raised your little Lone Star flag. When the waiter brought your whatever, he lowered the little flag, and otherwise stayed the fuck away! Eureka!
  12. Bama Llama
    Photoshop 401 rush assignment: Der Trumpher as young Brett K on top of a struggling Lady Liberty, grinding away, with his free hand over her mouth, while a smirking V Putin looks on. Bastages
  13. Bama Llama
    I sent my friend a Steven Wright dvd but he didn't get it.
  14. Bama Llama
    I love early season speculation and debate and it would be even juicier if only . . . rankings came out AFTER the first Saturday in October. Football fans are going to watch USC v Texas or LSU v Miami whether bullshit ranking numbers appear ahead of the team names. Ranking teams in August and September is only decoration for ad campaigns. Cue college football theme music, and . . . roll intro! "Tune into Jagoff TV this Saturday at 9:00 (am) ET as the Bud Lite #7 Sipsey Valley Normal School Lions take on Husqvarna #11 Bobwire Stretcher Tech Flem Smackers, brought to you by Ronco International, the makers of Log."
  15. Bama Llama
    Nailed it, TexasTakeover: "#14 MSU loses 28-7 to KENTUCKY..." All hype is balderdash and smegma.
  16. Bama Llama
    Can't he see live action by looking toward the field? Mirabile dictu! Gadzooks! Eureka! And Zeiss makes excellent binocs. Bravo turning one's eyes to the actual field.
  17. Bama Llama
    And the psycho Raiders fan-mom-harridan's hostile takeover of her daughter's lemonade stand. No likee atall.
  18. Bama Llama
    Key Largo Bogey at his best, smoky voiced Bacall at her lissomest, Edward G snarling orders to his goons, Lionel Barrymore, the dingbat alkie gangster moll, it's good every time.
  19. Bama Llama
    Shake 'em up, U Kats! Best Kentucky team since the logo had a penis for a tongue.
  20. Bama Llama
    I saw a werewolf driving a convertible down the Santa Monica Freeway It was a blood-red Coupe deVille --from some live album the guy was a tragic soul, but jaysus, could he write, sing and play Jerry Lee Lewis meets Bob Dylan and Eric Burdon
  21. Bama Llama
    Hell at the Breech by Tom Franklin Historical fiction about class warfare in 1890s Clarke County, Alabama. Crazy shit really happened but the read is outstanding, like well aged whiskey. A first novel but an outstanding one. Also, anything by Nelson DeMille or John LeCarre.
  22. Bama Llama
    Big Pharma's creating illnesses by citing the dozens of symptoms their nasty meds _may_ cause. Thank God for the DVR. And who dreams up these bizarre med names: "Xyloco (frickzetafellatio)"
  23. Bama Llama
    1. All of "the" sudden One hears it ever' damn fuckin' day. It ain't no suchuvva phrase. 2. Radio or TV ads announcing a special sale but the spokesidiot, usually female and likely the sponsor's trophy wife, squeeze or spoiled daughter, pronouces it "sell," as in "Be sure to come by Ziggy's 30% off sell!"
  24. Bama Llama

    AP Poll 9/16

    Bama Llama replied to NowThis's topic in Football

    9/12/20 is game night for Horns/LSU. If you want a religious experience, get there early and soak up some good times, boudin and alkyhol. It'll be hot in Baton Rouge, so get a fresh drink and head to Colonial Drive next to the stadium about an hour before kickoff. Ask a friendly voodoo priest to show you the exact spot where the golden girls stop marching (he'll know). All right now, here it is. Watch the face of the golden girl on the end. A perfect little bead of sweat will ease down her forehead and then slliiiide down her nose, falling down, down, down into her not-so-demure cleavage. The band will play "Pregame," and the multitude will roar. But you will have had the best spot because of this, my gift to Surly football fandom. Then, then you can go in and watch the game. And a word to the wise, Clark. After the game, win or lose, don' you give no lip to no LSU fans, you; else de loup garou be e'en some Texas guts, him, come midnight.
  25. Bama Llama
    Tuesday morning coffee with my first look at SC / Horns at DKR. Eerthang's looking _good_, Surlies. And only 78 degrees. Viewing what I hope is a watershed moment. Horns belong in the upper echelon if you can shake off the gremlins. Announcers seem a little too delighted when SC scores on opening drive. Schwarzenegger arms ref! Stadium and crowd are grandiloquent. If I'm alive I must find a way to Bama / Horns in '22, and alla y'all come to my house in '23. Hey, the burnt band sounding fine, and chaps girls are very, ah, chappy. Peace.

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