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Bama Llama

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Everything posted by Bama Llama

  1. There, now I see it! Horns and Tide again in California for the natty. Sounds good to me! Then we can moan for the next ten years, "If Tua hadn't been injured . . ." Ahh, I'm just fuckin' witcha. I'd like to see that matchup anyway if we can both get to the playoff. I get to sing along with your fans, "I-I-I've been working on the rai-i-i-lroad allll the live long day . . . ." And I love that "Dinah, won't you blow" part.
  2. Jerry Tagge aummmm, Rich Glover aummmmmm, Johnny Rodgers aummmmmm. Repeat mantra until next season. This too shall pass. Speaking of passes, don't first year corches get a pass? Well, then, give the guy a fuckin pass awready.
  3. I would contribute to the buyout if the backroom gang at Auburn would bring the Pirate to the Plains, and I'm a Bama man. Talk about your good theater - Saban v. Leach for at least a few years.
  4. The toppermost of the poppermost. My first concert, 8/18/65, Atlanta Fulton County Stadium. Upper deck $4.50, all below $5.50. Bus charter from Alabama $5.00 more. Life changing. Good on yer, Johnny. Time wounds all heels (looking at YOU, Tricky Dick, John Mitchell and J. Evelyn Hoofer.
  5. This is like a Bizarroworld version of an episode of Fargo the season Ewan Macgregor played brothers. Such an innocent transaction, such a horrific result. Never trust a rat bastid.
  6. Curing hiccups in ten seconds with one teaspoon of creamy peanut butter. Masticate slowly and swallow. Guaranteed.
  7. I'm as Bama as it gets but I can't see this without hearing "Chariots of Fire" and expecting these guys to go slow-moing down the field like Clark and Rusty Griswold.
  8. Please napalm the Sprint ads with the quasi storm trooper bot and the twerpy spokesguy former Verizon turncoat. An absolute waste of the energy expended to produce and transmit this dreck.
  9. Saw the actual landing and Armstong's first step on a small black and white TV in a crowded junior college cafeteria in Saint-Malo, France in the middle of the fucking night July 21, 1969 local time. In the room were 50 or 60 French, German and American kids who had just graduated high school and were studying each other's languages and other attributes. No one griped about Vietnam, Nixon or cops bashing heads at the Chicago convention. Everyone, EVERYONE cheered and clapped when a human being set foot, sur la lune. There's no flag controversy; fuck politics. We thought then that we would all be visiting the moon routinely by now. What happened? Not feasible.
  10. "Louisville football is on a collision course with the national championship. The only variable is time." -- Howard Schnellenberger, 1985
  11. . . . and the college football championship in January - Horns v Bama redux? It could happen!
  12. Campground desk clerk Brian Doyle-Murray, blowing watermelon seeds into his hand, asking for the Griswolds' address: "We like to send out a mailer." The original story, as it appeared in National Lampoon, is well worth the read. https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/features/read-john-hughes-original-national-811591
  13. JF spent too much time cheerleading with his back to the field. Urbs had a nice surrender cobra / anxiety vogue pose in the second quarter. "Watching [B1G] football is like watching two mules fighting over a turnip." - Lewis Grizzard
  14. Dining out. Jamie's Restaurant, a superior burger joint on South Main across from the Shamrock Hilton in Houston in the late 60s early 70s, used a clever and efficient cure for hovering waitstaff interrupting you and your guests every three minutes, asking "How's everybody doing?" to accelerate tips and the burning and turning of your table. On each table sat a miniature metal flagpole with a tiny raise-and-lowerable Texas state flag on a little cord. When you needed a waiter, you raised your little Lone Star flag. When the waiter brought your whatever, he lowered the little flag, and otherwise stayed the fuck away! Eureka!
  15. Photoshop 401 rush assignment: Der Trumpher as young Brett K on top of a struggling Lady Liberty, grinding away, with his free hand over her mouth, while a smirking V Putin looks on. Bastages
  16. I sent my friend a Steven Wright dvd but he didn't get it.
  17. I love early season speculation and debate and it would be even juicier if only . . . rankings came out AFTER the first Saturday in October. Football fans are going to watch USC v Texas or LSU v Miami whether bullshit ranking numbers appear ahead of the team names. Ranking teams in August and September is only decoration for ad campaigns. Cue college football theme music, and . . . roll intro! "Tune into Jagoff TV this Saturday at 9:00 (am) ET as the Bud Lite #7 Sipsey Valley Normal School Lions take on Husqvarna #11 Bobwire Stretcher Tech Flem Smackers, brought to you by Ronco International, the makers of Log."
  18. Nailed it, TexasTakeover: "#14 MSU loses 28-7 to KENTUCKY..." All hype is balderdash and smegma.
  19. Can't he see live action by looking toward the field? Mirabile dictu! Gadzooks! Eureka! And Zeiss makes excellent binocs. Bravo turning one's eyes to the actual field.
  20. And the psycho Raiders fan-mom-harridan's hostile takeover of her daughter's lemonade stand. No likee atall.
  21. Key Largo Bogey at his best, smoky voiced Bacall at her lissomest, Edward G snarling orders to his goons, Lionel Barrymore, the dingbat alkie gangster moll, it's good every time.
  22. Shake 'em up, U Kats! Best Kentucky team since the logo had a penis for a tongue.
  23. I saw a werewolf driving a convertible down the Santa Monica Freeway It was a blood-red Coupe deVille --from some live album the guy was a tragic soul, but jaysus, could he write, sing and play Jerry Lee Lewis meets Bob Dylan and Eric Burdon
  24. Hell at the Breech by Tom Franklin Historical fiction about class warfare in 1890s Clarke County, Alabama. Crazy shit really happened but the read is outstanding, like well aged whiskey. A first novel but an outstanding one. Also, anything by Nelson DeMille or John LeCarre.
  25. Big Pharma's creating illnesses by citing the dozens of symptoms their nasty meds _may_ cause. Thank God for the DVR. And who dreams up these bizarre med names: "Xyloco (frickzetafellatio)"
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