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Bama Llama

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Everything posted by Bama Llama

  1. Alien was like the Beatles at Shea. Before that, there was nothing. After then, there was everything. Except it was deadly and relentless and its blood was acid.
  2. Here’s what I want to see in Game 1 in Columbus. Jog on. Beat the ever loving crap out of OSU. Jog off. For my guys in Game 1 in Tallahassee. Just fucking win.
  3. No lying allowed. Your 1970 Plymouth Belvedere just had a flat on the left front tire. You jack it up but can’t get any of the lug nuts loose. What are you doing wrong? Did you know to loosen lug nuts on wheels on the left side of a 60s or 70s Plymouth, you rotate clockwise?
  4. Amen. I thought she commanded the screen in Year of Living Dangerously.
  5. I had never heard of Stephen King but enjoyed reading as an alternative to TV. ‘Twas about fifty years ago when my dear niece, only 12 or 13 at time, gave me this one for Christmas or a birthday. I enjoyed every word of every story. My niece is still cool and clever. If one has never experienced Kingian literature, it’s not a bad place to start.
  6. Bama Llama

    Getting old sucks

    I hear you. I hope he realizes he is conceding who inherits what, when they receive it, and who is in charge of the circus to state law. There are burdens the personal rep must carry and pay for, such as a surety bond, which your dad could exempt. Worse, anyone who can con him into appointing them Agent under a POA can do an end run around a legitimate transition of ownership. If cost is an issue, most states provide good lawyers through a legal aid or legal services nonprofit. If he prefers to ostrich all that and leave his house in a mess, you should at least get your shit together. This is like Cousin Eddie throwing poisonous snakes into the yard for his kids to “hunt” for and hoping for the best. Good luck, Surly Brother.
  7. Bama Llama

    Getting old sucks

    If he doesn’t have one currently, he should confer with an experienced elder law / estate planning attorney NEXT WEEK and discuss power of attorney, health care directive, will or trust and disposition of his remains. Not fun to contemplate but if not done, nothing good will happen. There is no “end of life good fairy.”
  8. It’s August and the kudzu, morning glories, thistles and commentator diarrhea is clogging up tv sports. Like someone posted, just run some decent games from the past, with radio synced for either team. We be starving for college football.
  9. Well, shit. Where were you and those two gorgeous avararettes when I needed you?
  10. Another thing I miss about unis - both teams wearing solid colors. Bama/Tenn in Legion Field was always colorful - crimson, orange, green turf, green steel girders and trusses, fall colors on Red Mountain in the distance. This game was a pisser, though. We were thoroughly whipped. Our #25, Dennis Homan, was a fine receiver but Tennessee had him covered all day. Their best player was from Montgomery - Richmond Flowers a track star with great hands. He went to Tennessee because his father, Alabama attorney general at the time, took incessant flak and bullshit criticism for taking the controversial position that human beings have civil rights!
  11. I saw Nebraska play vs Bama in 67. They came out wearing those bizarre cursive uni numbers and I just didn’t get it. Bama and Snake Stabler beat hell out of them that day. Undefeated but uncrowned. That sucked but we have been fortunate. I can’t complain. But those cursive uni numbers were jarring to my 15-year old eyes. I do rather like curves though. Know wha oy mayne?! Nudge nudge wink wink.
  12. You are right. We called repeatedly but all the tow truck companies’ drivers in town were out towing other assholes’ vehicles. The cops were no help cuz the whole vehicle was all the way onto our private property. They said if he was hanging out into a public street, they would’ve towed it to the impound lot. If only. I like to think being tagless on the byeays of Alabama, on game day no less when the troopers, deputies and local cops are all out and praying for excuses to make traffic stops, brought him and his companions some unforeseen misery.
  13. Who the fuck compiled this shitty chart? Based on what criteria? The twitter dude at the foot of the chart? I can guarantee LSU is most hostile year in and year out. Auburnites are superficially friendly to fans of teams not named Georgia or Bama, then they walk like Plains zombies back to their hives/nests. LSU is a fine place to attend a game if you hate the visiting team and enjoy being ripped before kickoff. I saw LSU upset Auburn when Terry Bowden was coach at AU. After the game, an Auburn asshole fan bitching up at LSU fans got beaned with an (empty) whiskey bottle from the 10th row or so. He yelled at a policeman and poonted out the perpetrator, to which ghe impassive cop did the windmill mantra, “Move along, move along.” Geaux Tigahs!
  14. The mirthless laughter of the damned. Oh, wait. That’s Auburn, where Hugh Freeze told his defense to “Go easy” on Jackson Arnold in summer practice to help him gain confidence for the season ahead. Please tell me Texas gets those fuckers in Austin this season. They cannot suffer enough.
  15. John Cleese has a tour gig coming up in September 35 miles from me. I’m 73 and he must be 84. Goddam! I’d better go while I can still see and hear and Cleese can still do the parrot 🦜 sketch and lion tamer bit, but how can he do those without Michael Palin?
  16. And I was counting on Baylor to embarrass Corch Freeze and the Auburn Plainsmen on Friday night in Game One at Waco. This does not bode well.
  17. Ditto roly polies Ditto Kelly Bundy
  18. My mother, a resident of Tuscaloosa, Alabama, departed this life in 1996. Her home, the same one I was raised in, was a ten-minute walk from Bryant Denny stadium. In those days, game day parking was in demand and yahoos from all over the Deep South parked all over the place on my old street. Mrs. Llama. Baby Llama and I lived on the Gulf OF MEXICO end of the state. We would commute on game weekends and stay in the house while estate admin was ongoing. One day Bama had some kind of punk ass early kick game on Jefferson Pilot. I went to run an errand about 9:30 only to find some asshole had parked behind me blocking my vehicle inside the driveway. After considering some of the criminal mischief options above, I settled on removing the asshole’s license plate. We watched the game on TV (no tix), and expected the asshole might be knocking on the door at some point, at which I planned to play dumb other than to ask him to GTFO my driveway or prepare to be towed, which happened frequently on game days. I went out eventually and found the asshole had gone. On Sunday, as we drove back to the coast, I sailed his license plate off a tall bridge into the muddy waters of the Alabama River just South of Jackson, Alabama. I hope the fucker got pulled over, charged wigh DUI, hassled and searched by state troopers every 30 miles wherever he went on his way home. The absolute selfish bullshit! He had no idea who he was blocking in that day or if someone in the house might need to use their fucking driveway. Asshole.
  19. I saw Georgia beat my Bama guys in Athens in game one of the 1965 season on a bad no-call on a vety ballsy play. We were up 17-10 with about 3 minutes to go in the game. Georgia was in 3rd and long on their own 20. They threw short to a wide receiver on a short buttonhook stop. Easy pass and catch (you know what’s coming), but WHATTHEFUCK the WR pitches the ball back to the fastest guy on the team who takes it to the house. Hook and lateral executed to perfection. No video, no replay, I don’t even think the game was on TV. Game film later showed both knees of the WR clearly on the ground. Oh and they went for two and made it and beat us 18-17. Motherfuckers. SI curse alive and well in Athens. We were on the cover the week before that game. Don’t care. We won out and were #1 for 1965, beating Nebraska in the Orange Bowl. In sandlots all over Tuscaloosa for years thereafter it was never called “hook and lateral,” it was forever called “the Georgia play.” I’ll try to find it on YouTube and put it up.
  20. I never saw or heard of him before the twit-X flurries last week after the ESPYs. I found his routine a little trite and contrived but his adenoidal memememe Trump impression (you can do it anybody can do it just don’t move anything but your hands and refer to “people say” this and that). He’s kind of like a good order of fries; not that good for you but you eat all of them. He’s no Katt Williams but he’s not bad.
  21. I hope the result is the same or better. And that goes for their spats-wearing Bugs Bunny cartoon sounding band, too.
  22. Let’s have the specs you would use for a description to the cops: height, weight, hair color, distinguishing scars, marks or tattoos.
  23. Dang. If tag and stickers were current, no swerving or crossing center line, no improper turns and no lights out, that’s a really strict speeding stop but legit. When on the road in a “foreign” jurisdiction best to err on the side of caution, right? A former Alabama state trooper client once told me their rule of thumb was a relaxed standard, “zero to nine over limit is fine but ten and up over limit, you’re mine.” Mrs. Llama was once stopped for speeding by a trooper in rural Choctaw County, Alabama. She was observing the “stay with other vehicles” driving technique and was last of about ten in a cluster of traffic on a divided four lane US highway. The lead car in the cluster was a red sports car 🚘, which she figured would be pulled over first . . . Wrong! She saw an oncoming trooper topping a hill with his blue lights already strobing. He passed the whole group, crossed the median and immediately stopped her, driving an inocuous white Tahoe. He ticketed her for speeding. She ended up having to attend “speeding school.” Mrs. L is 72 years old and that is the only traffic ticket she has ever had.
  24. If you know, was an explanation provided for the traffic stop in the first place? Such as vehicle lights out, improper turn, speeding, driving too slowly, etc.? Sounds like Fburg PD was profiling and looking for drogas.
  25. According to whom? IMDB sez Se7en, Heat and Braveheart are the 1995 top 3, not exactly chopped liver there, although grim subject matter and a substantial body count. Well made and entertaining for me at the time, a 44-year old ravenous consumer of films and books. Crimson Tide was #16, which was cool to see for a Tuscaloosa native.
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