So, the 8yo has been having quite the tough year in 2nd grade. He has ADHD, but until now it's been largely fine just us needing to steer him to the correct direction.
This year his teacher sends home a folder with their behavior noted throughout the course of the day. Smiley face for good day, "OT" for off task and "DO" for distracting others. The vast majority of days he gets an OT which isn't necessarily a problem yet because he's still testing well with above average math and reading skills. His everyday class and homework is an entirely different issue.
He'll do the bare minimum on most work, fill in a wrong and poorly thought out answer, if not outright skipping it altogether. When it all gets sent home and I look through it I'll have him sit down with me and try to answer or correct what he has and he seems to do okay understanding what he's supposed to do but simply doesn't for whatever reason. My guess is he simply wants to be anywhere else but in class while actual learning is going on. We've talked with the counselor and teacher and we do have him on the disability plan but my wife and I both agree that his teacher doesn't have the patience required of him, which I don't really blame her for. It's incredibly hard to juggle 20 wild-ass 2nd graders on a daily basis.
For background, he's an incredibly sensitive kid who is quick to get his feelings hurt, storm off and cry. He's never gotten physical or tried to hurt himself or others which is good. He wants desperately for every kid in the world to like him, so if he's not getting the attention he craves he'll badger the other kids until they tell him to fuck off. We've tried therapy for his confidence, sensitivity, and ADHD issues but found the therapist was just letting play through the whole session while not really getting to any rooted issues or offering suggestions we could take home and use. She never mentioned if he simply wasn't offering anything in terms of how he feels, but if he wasn't I would think that's a pretty big thing to tell parents.
He's my pride and joy and I'd rather not get him on any medication but some serious leaps need to be made in his focus levels before it starts affecting his grades. 3rd grade will be an insane leap as far as the demands required of the schoolwork. Most importantly, I want him to have the confidence and belief in himself that he can do anything. Aside from telling him how much I love him every day and how proud I am of him on anything he does well, I'm pretty stumped on what else to do.
Any surly dad's have a similar situation? Suggestions?
Also, I know this is a loaded issue with a lot of nuance and variables but if there's any questions I can answer I will.