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Tired Horn

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Everything posted by Tired Horn

  1. "...the glory at A&M is like no other..." Again, these chuckle fucks simply defy satire. That quote belongs at the entrance to the very font of glory, their delusional and drafty (from all that empty space) Hall of Champions. "There is no better defensive coach than coach Elko." Jeepers, this shit again! Hire: 'We love Coach X. There is no one greater than Coach X." Fire: "We hate Coach X. He has failed the greatest fan base in the world." Hire: 'We love Coach Y. There is no one greater than Coach Y." Rinse and repeat. "Then, Texas A&M will take care of you after the NFL." Seriously? I would hope Shemar has goals a little loftier than that.
  2. So, anyone else think that if they happen to win that another amazing tale of Aggie heroism will join the roster of turdition. The Fearless Fifty-Five! They Conquered the Fuck-Nuts Texas Bowl!
  3. Pressure hull failures at depth are violent. Of course, simple drowning is no fun, either. Submariners used to joke that surface ships are always at crush depth. Surface sailors would joke back that at least they had lifeboats.
  4. I was a navy nuke officer out of NROTC from Texas (yeah, did marching and rifle drill in Memorial Stadium once a week back when it was primitive artificial turf---we marched in to the sound of Patton's theme from the movie). But I don't recall avoiding the majority of the navy's bullshit, which is a good thing. Lots of dark humor in that bullshit. Actually, not a bad career move, either. After six years in the navy, got myself a consulting job that opened a lot of doors. Have ended up winding my career down with a nice paycheck in a nice area where more than 50% of my work is remote, which suits my medical condition just fine. I'm glad I didn't spend more than six years in uniform, but I wouldn't undo it either.
  5. Yep. They really think their football players are motivated by intense love for their cult. So, of course Walter Nolen would want to shape the entire rest of his life around Aggy identity fetishes. Here in the real world, we know players choose their college based on a lot of different factors, many of which vary drastically from that of the typical student. The most you can typically hope for is that they turn into good players who feel basically positive about their development, their coaches, and their teammates. I don't expect Texas players to either love the university with all their hearts or sacrifice what they perceive as their own self-interest to it.
  6. What are the sharks for? "The Elko Grind..." Aggies really are beyond satire. Yeah, take 'em down to Junction, you fucking weirdos. That's the ticket.
  7. "Texas A&M deserves better." No, it doesn't. It really doesn't. Now gather up your Aggie Nation, your Aggie Network, your Aggie ring, and any other cult memorabilia you may have, and don't let the door hit your whiny ass on your way out.
  8. Aggie--getting under people's skin with their potential for 84 years. How on brand.
  9. Because your heart is in the right place.
  10. I think their end game is to finally unleash the 12th man on us. They'll be driven to rapturous fury by the dug-up bones of E. King Gill mounted on the sidelines.
  11. Maybe Elko can add a few more pounds and give it a go.
  12. If they could even take baby steps. Like say, maybe, not giving up Yell Practice all at once, but doing away with the cringingly unfunny "comedy" routines by the stupid yell leaders. Or just cool it about the Aggie Ring and all it supposedly entails, basically stop coming across as a bunch of wannabe secret society groupies. And maybe they could just tell the dead dogs how the games turned out at the end, instead of, you know, the scoreboard outside. Baby steps. Before you know it, maybe they'd just have a normal ROTC program like the rest of the world.
  13. What was this random bit of psychosis about?
  14. But on the positive side, they are signing guys who kind'a. sort'a, maybe want to be Ags (unless a better offer surfaces--god, are you there, please let a better offer surface). I talked to a maroon kool-aid swilling idiot who assured me Elko was a Portal Master who was loading up A&M with diamonds in the rough. Jesus. I didn't have the heart to even engage with that idiot, just wished him good luck on that.
  15. Well, everyone knows the Station is lit. What could Los Angeles possibly have to compare? Hell, the City of Angels doesn't even have yell leaders.
  16. I don't necessarily disagree, but suppose you'd made the tragic. youthful mistake of taking a bag to star in Jimbo Baggins Hobbit offense and its promises of greatness, only to find yourself becoming a fleet-footed Gollum riding a 12-12 wave in fucking College Fucking Station of all places, you'd probably love football a lot less, too.
  17. You forgot "three star grinder" and "guys who want to be at A&M."
  18. After The Elk takes them down to Junction for the summer.
  19. Cue Vince Lombardi's line about teams saying they were only a few plays away: "That's just how losers talk."
  20. What summed up his tenure to me is that he never had a winning record. And we're not talking 11-1 or 10-2 here. Not one lousy 7-5 season in his whole tenure. He's the only Texas coach in my lifetime who can claim that distinction.
  21. But you go to admit, The Elk sounds cooler than The Stoop.
  22. The Elk should make it to three years on that nickname alone. Aggy loves nicknames.
  23. So basically, everyone but the terminally stupid needs a bag.
  24. Who puts themselves in this situation? Seriously. It's just obviously a stupid idea to have as interim coach for your bowl game a guy who has already been hired by someone else. He quite rightly is putting his future employer over his rump time with you. And then the Aggies start to complain about ethics? Jesus, Mary and Joseph. If you're going to be a chump, just be a chump. Don't advertise it.
  25. Maalik has to look out for himself first. He's not going to beat out Arch next year, either for starter or second string if Quinn returns. It's too bad all these kids can't realize their dreams, and I wish him the best of luck.
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