I'm alive! Time to rest, relax, and enjoy the most momentous weekend of the season since Week One. I did not have much time to watch the games last weekend so this week's edition will be especially vibes-based.
Thursday
Army @ East Carolina (-2.5) (7:30/6:30 ESPN): A do or die game for contention in the ferocious AAC. Army lost a shootout in Denton. ECU hung tough but fell to two P5s and needs a positive charge to start the conference slate. Should be a good one!
Friday
#8 Florida State (-7) @ Virginia (7/6 ESPN): A top ten team on the road on a Friday! The Noles should stomp the Wahoos, but at least the home fans get to hang out in Charlottesville.
#24 TCU @ Arizona State (-2.5) (9/8 Fox): Another ranked team on the road as two major contenders in the Conference of Parity face off in the desert. Dykes vs. Dillingham is a fun coaching battle.
Houston (-9) @ Oregon State (10:30/9:30 ESPN): Just go to sleep guys. Sad what's happened to the Beavs and West Coast Cougs.
Saturday
Early
#21 USC @ #23 Illinois (12/11 Fox): Oooooh boy does this feel like a trap for USC, who had to do the clopen shifts - ending Week Four with a late night win over Sparty and waking up bright and early Pacific time for this one.
#22 Notre Dame (-5) @ Arkansas (12/11 ABC): What a fucking cripple fight. How is ND ranked?
Louisville (-3) @ Pitt (12/11 ESPN2): I don't know. It's a thin early slate.
Mid-Afternoon
#4 LSU (-1) @ #13 Ole Miss (3:30/2:30 ABC): Garrett Nussmeier vs. .....Trinidad Chambliss? The Ferris State transfer took over from Austin Simmons after his injury and has maintained his starting role even with Simmons back. A huge test in Oxford for the Bayou Bengals.
#1 Ohio State (-10) @ Washington (3:30/2:30 CBS): UDub comes in on a wave of confidence after eviscerating the Little Sisters of the Poor, but talk about a stern test for them and for Julian Sayin in one of college football's most stunning settings.
Auburn @ #9 Texas A&M (-4.5) (3:30/2:30 ESPN): Come on Hugh Freeze, do something really funny here.
#11 Indiana (-4) @ Iowa (3:30/2:30 Peacock): Another game with T-R-A-P written all over it. Too bad it's on fucking Peacock.
Primetime
#17 Alabama @ #5 Georgia (-3) (7:30/6:30 ABC): It's Bama at Georgia, what more do you want?
#6 Oregon @ #3 Penn State (-3) (7:30/6:30 NBC): White Out conditions in Happy Valley. The Ducks against the Pedos. James Franklin against an equally talented team. The only option is to pull for Oregon.
Kentucky @ South Carolina (-7) (7:45/6:45 SECN): Remember top ten South Carolina? The pollsters don't! Now they're battling Kentucky for bottomfeeder relevance. Woof.
RIP Pac-12 After Dark
#25 BYU (-6) @ Colorado (10:15/9:15 ESPN): The c0.0%gs (workshopping it) are making a sneaky run at the Big 12 title, and are coming off a very professional away win in Greenville. Deion's close loss to GaTech looks better and better, but getting rocked by UH doesn't
Happy bye week, y'all!