BearSchlong

I went the first 5 years of sobriety with zero meds. And at this point I’m not sure if I prefer being leveled out with a small dose of Wellbutrin or unmedicated better. My focus and mood are better when medicated, but it’s not quite natural. The constant is my reliance on a higher power and being active as heck in AA. But 18 years ago I was “bipolar” and zoinked out on a combination of Lithium and Cymbalta. And Whisky. Nope. Just an untreated alcoholic. My psychiatrist lols that I was ever Dx’d as bipolar. Alcoholic insanity presents like it though.

That and telling the special forces how many civilians they could kill while targeting high profile targets. Must be true, he says so in his book.

And that JAG lawyer who advised the CIA on just how far they could go in torturing prisoners? (In Iraq) Yale and Harvard Law educated Ron Desantis. True story.

Update: blaming their firewall vendor.

ABC news just said Southwest blamed a unspecified vendor. I wonder who it is?

I’d definitely consult with your MD before making any moves.

Inshallah. God willing. False Events Appearing Real Honey, this is one of those things I’m just gonna give over to my higher power and say “thy will be done”

Got it.

Me either. Help?

Over the last six years, I’ve determined through experience and consultation with my doc that one 150mg bupropion (Wellbutrin generic) ER plus a non-ER 75mg is my sweet spot. It’s about half the typical dosage for those meds. It keeps me stable but not numb. Periodically I will go off the medication for six months, but I find it helpful. Sometimes I find it challenging to experience a negative emotion and know it’s the medication. The meme that best explains it is Clark Griswald's “Fun? You’ll have so much fun you’ll need surgery to remove the smile from your face.” There are AA groups in certain west coast cities that abhor all psychotropic meds, and I vehemently disagree with their philosophy.

Damned duplicate. The Subtle Art of not Giving A F*ck is a great book.

I’m a huge fan of Jordan’s. Followed him a few weeks ago at the Dell. But damned if Fitzpatrick didn’t hit the best shot in tournament history, and the family history with Harbour Town was a nice touch. Onward, to the most terrifying 60 minutes ever. (Y’all are all sentient AI, I’m the only human here, right?)

And my wife and I have been through her mood swings enough times that we can discuss it objectively. We just did. She admitted that with having to leave town for yet another week at 5 am tomorrow means that today is her day to crawl in a hole and be bitchy. The whole conversation was even better because she was wearing her facial mask so she was basically in blackface (no racist).

Wellbutrin here. I said something mean to my wife last night (she lost her shit in the middle of a hailstorm/windstorm), and I promptly apologized and made direct amends, and went to an early morning meeting AND church this morning. I admitted to myself, to God, and I’ll call my sponsor and admit the exact nature of my wrongs. To be fair, she has been traveling every week for 6 weeks and our garage is full of stuff because she hasn’t finished packing things that normally reside in my offsite warehouse. I honestly thought there’s no way I can get her car in here with all this stuff. Her: it’s hailing! Do something!! Me: I did. I bought insurance. Her: why are you deliberately letting my car get damaged? Me: (redacted.) I shove a bunch of stuff into a pile, go out in a hailstorm, and move her car into the garage. I make my amends. I point out my false assumptions. I own it. Then I go to bed. Half an hour later she comes in and asks if my truck was damaged. This morning she tells me she re-watched our argument on our Ring video archive. Admits she was behaving crazy. I ask how I was until she made the accusation. Her answer: “calm”. Less than one hour ago she blew up on her dad (they are always in low grade passive aggressive conflict) and I sighed. She demanded to know what I was thinking. I finally said “your Al Anon meeting starts in 28 minutes, and it’s less than 3 minutes from our house.” Probably shouldn’t have said that, but oh well, I was speaking the truth. She is Al Anon dry and needs a meeting, in my opinion. I go to at least 3 AA meetings a week just to keep my sanity. We have reached a point where I can’t own her emotions any longer, not because I don’t love her deeply but because I’m usually a mess in my own right. It is hard. Is it me? Is it her? Is it me AND her? I move nearer to the precipice of finally trusting God with all aspects of my life, and it’s been 12 years since I’ve had a drink. I’m on the cusp of emotional sobriety. The payoff of my character defects is ever so slightly closer, but I still fuck it up so bad sometimes. After my meeting comment she disappeared for a half hour into the back of the house and is now banging pots and pans in the kitchen. This is one of those posts that I shouldn’t make, lord knows I’ve typed out many and then deleted. But YGIFS, I just want you to know that the trick is staying sober without going insane. If you think about it, not drinking is the anomaly. The warm blanket of inebriation becomes fatal. So I have to find a sufficient substitute.

None that I know of. In fact the number of liberals on his friend list is impressive, including one of my oldest friends; a Beaumont lawyer whose license plate is actually “Liberl”. Outrage theatre GQP grift is profitable.

I don’t remember the guy but we have 122 mutual FB friends.

Eating a beef rib at 1701 bbq and clicked on this. From the op article: Nearly 6.5 million farm animals have perished in barn fires since 2013, according to an AWI analysis. Wow.

No kidding. Sexting and buffoonery and a lack of charisma, plus all the Clinton murders, I’d have traded that in a heartbeat for what we got with trump. And yes, the media paid that girl for her story, and yes, she spent it on drugs. I haven’t seen her in a minute but I think she is doing better. She doesn’t like me very much because I tried to warn a few close friends to stop putting her pussy on a pedestal.

I tried to answer as close to how I believe the Maggots would.

To be fair, I answered many questions with emphasis on the absolute. Also explains why I get along better with y’all than I do my own alumni.

I kicked the speed on Audible up to 1.25x just to get through it.

So he picked up his provisional?

He is a beat down, for sure. Almost as bad as watching Kevin Na.

I just listened to Desantis’ book because I didn’t want to be accused of being uninformed. He is not a stupid man, he has talents. He has a deep seated rust belt working class racism, he is a connoisseur of Clarence Thomas’s asshole, keen hearing that can pick up the faintest of fascist dog whistles, and has read the Federalist papers. He’s a master negotiator who wouldn’t have been elected governor without trading his soul to trump, but that took away all his leverage against trying to resuscitate 1950s Walt Disney racism. If only those radical liberals would accept their lot in life and stop resisting that would stop the hate! I hope Disney buries him. He really believes all this George Soros Antifa shit too. I do, however, envy the Florida gubernatorial term limits. That would be great for Texas, hell, the whole nation. Trump is going to fuck him up.

Tbh, I haven’t been out much since fall. I pumped last year’s remaining fuel out of the tank into Jerry cans and replaced with brand new gas. My FIL owns a shop with a 1,000 gallon oil/fluids/gas/nasty chemicals disposal/recycling tank so throwing the old gas away is uncomplicated. Bought a pint of live shrimp, got the boat wet, ran wide open for a half hour to make sure all was good with the motor and then commenced to knocking down a school of specks. Caught 12 up to about 23” Beautiful weather, nice afternoon and evening. My plan is to fish a lot of weekday afternoons this summer. Meetings in the morning, on the water by 4.