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BearSchlong

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Everything posted by BearSchlong

  1. BearSchlong
    Quoting for posterity because in 45 days you’re going to look back and have a good laugh.
  2. BearSchlong
    Fuck that is awful.
  3. BearSchlong
    Drunk black or Hispanic guy - cops arrest him and he gets chronically screwed by the system. Drunk me - the cops drop me off at the Marriott and tell me to just sleep it off. And as I’m getting out of the police cruiser I joke about my lifetime platinum status. Happened at least a half dozen times when I lived in San Antonio prior to my sobriety. And when I finally forced the issue by trying to fight a cop, and ended up with some slight consequences, I was the only white dude in a suit taking piss tests for the Bexar Co. probation office. La eMe cocked their heads and looked at me like WTF, ese? 2004 wasn’t my best year.
  4. BearSchlong
    Prohibition works to support the LEO/Incarceration industrial complex. Period.
  5. BearSchlong
    There was a Dellionaire who lived at Ponderosa and became a guide, Bill something, can’t remember his last name, we used to put Scott’s Hyde drift boat in there. I’ve fished that stretch you mentioned often.
  6. BearSchlong
    Are you getting your A1C and blood sugar tested? I’d be wary as fuck of any nutritionist that advised me to add sugar, but that’s because I’m virtually tinfoil hat conspiracy theorist level skeptical of the industry based on conversations my cardiologist and I have had regarding the AMA and the USDA. This is a helpful resource - https://www.health.harvard.edu/diseases-and-conditions/glycemic-index-and-glycemic-load-for-100-foods Even better https://www.health.harvard.edu/diseases-and-conditions/the-lowdown-on-glycemic-index-and-glycemic-load What I was really looking to share http://www.mv5.ca/EWF/docs/glycemic%20index.pdf
  7. BearSchlong
    So for millions of years, humans pissed in public with impunity. And now OnlyFans Boebert comes up with this bullshit. You just have to know that somewhere there exists a video of her pissing that someone paid for. Every accusation is a confession. My last phone conversation with El Diablo before he died was about how he was having a new fence installed at his house, and how pissing in your back yard is a satisfying rite of home ownership.
  8. BearSchlong
    Lifting when your muscles are glycogen depleted is different, for sure. But on the positive side it means a lot less lactic acidosis so your soreness should be reduced, overall.
  9. BearSchlong
    That metal slide sure does cool off my balls. Thinking about heading to kitchen for another cup of sonic ice and water. That is if the dogs don’t eat me first. Wish me luck. Oh, and I never carry but I do keep my sig in the truck console vault that Sack recommended if I’m headed anywhere sketchy.
  10. BearSchlong
    Pussy is expensive. Unfortunately they don’t teach that in school, and my 45 yr old dad was in the middle of banging his 24 yr old secretary when he should have been teaching me life lessons instead of making her my ex stepmother. We smoothed things over later. I think we’re all entitled to a little insanity in life sometimes.
  11. BearSchlong

    Getting old sucks

    BearSchlong replied to Hate's topic in Lulz

    Knee, meet needle. The orthopedic doc was like “now which knee are we treating?” Ah, both? At this point it’s me versus my meniscuses. Menisci?
  12. BearSchlong
    Guided trip? What crossings? I’ve had many of those days, just perfect. I’m in need of a guide recommendation because Scott Graham moved back to NC.
  13. BearSchlong
    It’s obvious you’re getting to some level of dietary ketosis. Have you noticed a metallic flavor in your saliva, or has your spouse made any comments about your breath? I remember when I lost my weight I’d be laying in bed just admiring my hips. I know that’s oversharing but when the love handles melt away you notice things. Not to make this a keto thread, but if you do ever feel blah you may want to consider adding some electrolytes. Once you get past the “OMG potassium” taste it’s not a bad idea to add some fake salt/nu salt to that Gatorade zero mix and maybe some magnesium maleate supplements. Washed down with pickle juice, of course.
  14. BearSchlong
    Its not exactly linear so beware of that mindset. Regarding post 219. I wonder if the deceased deviated from the plan? I’ve got a good friend who ended up in ICU for 6 weeks after the surgery as well.
  15. BearSchlong

    Getting old sucks

    BearSchlong replied to Hate's topic in Lulz

    I’m so sorry for your loss.
  16. BearSchlong
    Lol that drain. Wow.
  17. BearSchlong
    Come on Scottie sink that putt and force overtime Yeah!!!
  18. BearSchlong
    Plot twist - I continued east.
  19. BearSchlong
    AA late last night, BPT, gear down, flaring for landing, “yeah it’s foggy, we can’t see the runway, we’re going back to DFW.” Cancelled. Which is somehow why I’m sitting in the golden nugget in Lake Charles right now, eating a steak on house money.
  20. BearSchlong

    Getting old sucks

    BearSchlong replied to Hate's topic in Lulz

    Get your platelets checked. I need surgeries on both knees. Walked all around Austin CC at the Dell yesterday without issue and then tweaked my knee trying to slide into a window seat on a plane.
  21. BearSchlong
    He had a mother daughter threesome. Or he and his son banged a mother daughter combo. Reminds me of the old joke about the girl who bangs the guy and after he’s done she asks “what will we name our child?” And he pulls off the rubber, ties the top in a knot, and replies “if he can get out of that, we will name him Houdini”
  22. BearSchlong
    Spieth and Lowry might be interesting. That’s the thing I don’t understand. Why start early if that’s when the bad weather will happen.
  23. BearSchlong
    PSA: they’re starting 2 hours early tomorrow. Tee times starting at 8 am.
  24. BearSchlong
    AG jeans/chinos has a cut called “Tellis” available for flat assed middle aged men. Also Tommy Bahama Boracay chinos and shorts. And the M7 cut from Ariat when boots are involved. For years I’ve been tempted to start a pants for flat asses thread. I have actually walked into the men’s department at Nordstrom and said “look at my ass. Fix me.” Alternate thread title would be “The pancreas is a fickle bitch”
  25. BearSchlong
    Wu, throw your scale away for 2 weeks. I’m serious. Calories in/calories out is BULLSHIT of the highest order because it neglects hormonal changes. Calories in/out bro is literally a mouthbreathing okie humming boomer soooner and eating a bag of dicks. Hell, even zero cal sweeteners can throw your insulin levels into confusion. Pretty soon your body chemistry will change and realize that it’s ok to shed weight, that you’re not in desert island super starvation mode. But it just takes time. Possibly up to 45-60 days. Speaking from experience here. Way too many other biochemical variables. And you’re obsessing. Eat your plan and have faith. IT WILL HAPPEN and you’ll laugh your ass off and tell me I was right. I’ve lost more weight while NOT exercising.

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