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BearSchlong

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Everything posted by BearSchlong

  1. I was one of those Mo-Ranch Presbyterians. I love that place.
  2. My cousin’s wife handled my dad’s probate which was fine, but my cousin is the DA and I've vowed to steer clear of any potential entanglements.
  3. Saw REK from backstage many times when I used to work his stage at Oysterfest, drinking the beer from the cooler we supplied him. At my son’s rehearsal dinner (whoop! they was aggies) his cake was a big armadillo stuffed with berry filling and when we cut it everyone said it looked like roadkill. And then the band segued into armadillo jackel. Now we trade obnoxious armadillo tchotchkes with his in-laws and have a good laugh. I know a sober guy who tours extensively and still sings his hits - which are all drinking anthems - that's what pays the bills. His sponsor joins him on tour and on off days they play 36 holes. I was with them one day when a song came on SiriusXM and he joked “I just made 4 cents.”
  4. You won't remember this but we almost delayed closing by a day due to my idiocy and an HOA document snafu that got worked out. First thing they did when I moved in was hand me the HOA job (it’s one street with 9 houses). Guess who is now an expert at getting liftmaster gate operators replaced? Now I want to raise rates and hire a landscape architect. A sober drunk with power.
  5. Lol Tito’s is the most popular vodka in Canada, based on anecdotal experience.
  6. Been a shitty day spent with Mom at MD Anderson. But at least I found some humor. If I was her doc, I’d go around telling everyone to “just call me Jumbo”
  7. Baptists. Inevitable scandal. Great memories of the blob and sailing to Ant island.
  8. Anyone else immediately think “37 dicks? In a row?”
  9. Indeed. My own mom loves Mark more than me.
  10. I know a guy. There's the one he did for his mom. https://www.claybarfuneralhome.com/obituaries/martha-sparks-2
  11. My FIL was on the FBI Chicago mob task force and served a search warrant on one of Giancanna’s crew. He took and kept a framed photo of the whole family including Sam as a souvenir that still hangs in his home office. All the mob guys and FBI agents fucked with each other like that. He even told the guy “I’m taking this just because I want it.” Not doxxing him because I did on shaggy a decade ago and I show up at dinner and he says “how's it going, BearSchlong?” That just about gave me a heart attack, mainly because lots of my posts back then we're highly descriptive of my acrobatic carnal adventures with his daughter.
  12. Also, there is a solution. Send him to Beaumont, I have a bed for him at a 50 bed sober living house where I serve as treasurer. We just built a brand new 20 bedroom house. It would be my privilege to introduce him to a loving, supportive environment where he gain a toehold in sobriety and meet dozens of guys who are transformed. Headed to have lunch with my sponsor/lawyer at Luby’s right now.
  13. Alcoholics need to be beat into a state of reasonableness before recovery can occur. I pray that one day he sees these difficulties as his most precious asset. More than several of my most trusted long time sober friends had a judge that told them “ok Im done fucking around with you. On to the find out phase.” And if it happened to my kid I’d go to Al-Anon and work through the program. I'd hate it, but I’d do it. It sucks that society warehouses alcoholics in prison, but what if he had killed a family while drunk? I say this with the full disclosure that several decades ago I personally deserved to be locked up.
  14. I can't speak to the lawyering, but learning how to “detach with love” is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do as a parent. I'm in lockstep with Reagan and Twice on this one.
  15. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Files
  16. I've got a 2 story detached garage, office/apartment with a full bath upstairs (tankless water heater), utility/fish cleaning sink downstairs. Insulated garage door. Turned the water off at the meter last night, heated the bottom of the garage with one side of a dual propane heater on low (kept it at about 55 degrees). Turned the water on at the meter at about 9am and just got water back on in the garage at 12:30 pm. No burst pipes, but single-digits had me worried for a bit.
  17. I witnessed this at MD Anderson last week upon my mom’s admission to the main hospital. The staffer apologized in advance before launching into her scripted question. Back around the turn of the century my sister omitted a presidential internship (Clinton) from her printed resume. Then-speaker Hastert made the final hiring decision on congressional parliamentarians and she didn't want to provoke uncomfortable interview questions. The recruiting staff vetted her thoroughly but at the last minute asked her to delete it and print a fresh copy for her final interview. I shudder to imagine what purity tests are being implimented for “non-political” civil service jobs.
  18. Overkill. This is the kinda shit my dad would have done with me in the 70s (with a cig in his mouth) and nobody would have blinked. But man the outrage machine is in high gear.
  19. Yup. Too many people called it in. LEO just got dispatched, and since he has a rapsheet he's gonna catch some charges. (update: a 3 month old)
  20. Some dumbass in Port Arthur bundled up his 6 month old and used him to “shovel” snow off his car - with the license plate visible, in a TikTok video. Honestly, if it was a 2-year-old or older toddler it would have almost been cute. Questionable, but no big deal. But guess whose wife happens to be the on-call manager, and guess who is going to have a CPS investigator at his house as soon as the streets clear?
  21. Be interesting to see if the same EO applies to my sibling’s offer with ICE.
  22. Yeah that's actually a thing right now here in Jefferson and Chambers county. Lots of videos going around. The forecast was very accurate, we got about this many inches
  23. Happy Birthday!
  24. We require photographic evidence of your breasts. (it was inevitable, but I'm not a savage)
  25. Bitches in the living room getting it on should have told you.
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