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BearSchlong

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Everything posted by BearSchlong

  1. Cataract surgery today. Game changer. Can't wait to get the other eye done. No prescription glasses ever again.
  2. Nice. I was driving west on Huebner about to turn south on NW military listening to WOAO when I did the exact same thing.
  3. Wanna know why there aren't many posts about problems with tundras? My 2018 is by far the best vehicle I've ever owned. I'm keeping it forever, since with 78k it's virtually brand new.
  4. I am. The shock of it all is wearing off, and I am left with sorrow, anger, and a general sadness. Work is helping to keep my mind occupied, but I dread heading back for the funeral, which will be on July 8th. I've also come to realize my emotional limits, that when it seems too much to bear that I need to focus on self-care. I've always been someone who takes on others’ burdens, and that's not healthy or sustainable. There's a vast difference between being supportive and helpful versus just absorbing someone else’s grief. I do it with my children in their non-existent relationship with their mother.
  5. Appreciate it. I'm numb. Trying to get back to work a little today. And I have a new favorite baseball team, I haven't really had one since the 1990s Rangers. But my surviving nephew’s team is Toronto, and I promised him I'd watch them the rest of the season. Maybe I'm trauma bonding but it's clear I need more in common with him. My sister is shattered, but she is a survivor. She was a marathon runner until surviving a stroke at 37, and is pretty even keeled. She's very social and has a lot of friends to share her burden. My BIL is just in angry anguish. I watched him obsess over mortuary stuff for an entire weekend. The thought of any business profiting from his sons death turns his stomach. It's crazy how fixated he gets on trivial things. I kept gently reminding him that he needed to let the professionals do their job, but mainly just sat back and watched, knowing his particular coping mechanism is to go full OCD on a spreadsheet. He is a corporate lawyer so it's not some weird anti-capitalist thing. He hates socializing and generally doesn't like people. I've often joked he needs a mistress but his drives aren't in that arena. He’d rather play 8 hours of tennis.
  6. Thanks man. We were actually talking about their recent New York trip, you met him. The non-baseball-obsessed kid.
  7. several of you have been on my mind as I've been with my only blood sibling (sister) and BIL for two days following their 15-year-old son’s suicide. [mention=93]troph[/mention] for sharing your journey. My nephew was gender fluid and gay, which I knew would be the case when he was about 6. He hadn’t made definitive decisions, but his parents would have supported gender-affirming care from the beginning. It was a judgment-free household. My Jack hated that he was tall, hated that he had to shave. In his mind, he wanted to be waif-like and delicate. [mention=137]lidig8r[/mention] for sharing your daughter’s story and your resulting activism. My sis and BIL have decided their new calling is assisting the families of others in similar situations. The last two days have been the hardest in my life. My baby sister is wholly shattered, and can’t comprehend her powerlessness in a crisis she couldn’t have envisioned. My BIL is second-guessing every parenting decision he has ever made. And they were the ideal parents; open-minded, supportive, and willing to sacrifice everything for their child. This happened in progressive as fuck Happy Valley, OR, where the churches fly pride flags, and the schools have LGBTQ clubs. Today I drug them and my remaining nephew out of the house and drove up the Columbia River gorge to White Salmon, WA, for lunch. I had to get them away from where he died and into a scenic vista to help them process. I loved that kid so much. In my mind, he was perfect. My job this weekend is to be their rock while they lose their shit. I still can’t believe this is real.
  8. I'm just checking in during my hiatus from doom-scrolling the rest of the site (it's so addicting) for a specific reason. I'm on a plane to Portland because on Wednesday night, my 15-year-old nephew decided to end it all. Far and away the most shattering event in my family's history. Y'all, I am so damned grateful to be sober, safe, and reasonably sane today, to drop everything instantly and jump into service. Everything irrelevant melts away. It was apparent from toddlerhood that he had the "ism's." Maybe that's why I loved him/her/they so much (he was still figuring out his pronouns.) Helluva weekend ahead, friends.
  9. I’m going to take a weeklong hiatus from the screen. Just to see if I can do it. I think I’m addicted to doomscrolling. See y’all later. Now if I can only resist the urge to check back for replies.
  10. It’s ok, all we have to do is stockpile enough ARs, ammo and provisions to hold us over until the economy turns itself inside out, right? I would have liked to have seen Montana, with my AI generated wife.
  11. I did that one night, sat on the patio overlooking the harbor. Very legit.
  12. From my perspective, your “slacking” is the fact that you’re not out there doing field research. You’re wasting valuable time. The clock is ticking. I had to drink myself sober.
  13. I was there for a weekend a few years ago. Walked into the Art Institute of Chicago with half an hour before pre-concert dinner reservations. I approached a docent and said “soon, I’m going to spend a day or two here, deeply contemplating the antiquities and masterpieces. But for now could you just point me to the Ferris Bueller painting?” My kid lives there now, a few blocks from the beach, and I’m anticipating much more time to appreciate the city.
  14. When was the last time you read Bill’s story and looked for the similarities? When was the last time you read Dr. Silkworth’s opinion and considered the allergy? When was the last time you read “we agnostics” and considered a power other than yourself? Go to the stories in the back of the book and pick out one written by a woman. They tend to be very well written. Why don’t you try that for starters? Your sobriety is yours. Pick up the book and start being accountable to yourself.
  15. Alcoholics Anonymous was written to be mailed to any English-reading person who wanted to stop drinking but found they could not. Sure, it was expected that the recipient would find a community of similar travelers and fellowship would ensue, but like I tell my guys, “imagine you’re the only alcoholic in your rural county. Everything you need to get sober and stay that way is contained in this book.” If you’re like me, you may need to have color commentary for additional context and practical insights. I’ve read the book about a 20 times, and the best supplement to the book that I’ve discovered is a set of weekend workshops put on by some country boys named Joe and Charlie. They also wrote a book called “The Steps We Took,” but the most enjoyable and convenient way to for me to access their content is in audio. There are many apps, this is the one I use: via Joe & Charlie Big Book Study on Audiojoy http://taps.io/BYP3w Such deadpan humor and wisdom like “Joe was out screwing around, I was simply committing adultery” lol. The way they simplify and deconstruct the steps with practical explanation is masterful. It led to them holding workshops worldwide. I’ve worked the steps with a sponsor, I regularly attend meetings where we read the BBOAA and the quasi-sequel commentary, “12 steps and 12 traditions.” AA is great. Sure, you make friends and hear good stuff, but real progress is made with a sponsor and through working the steps. And spending time 1 on 1 with other alcoholics. I had dinner the other night with a guy who got sober in pch’s home group and relocated to mine, and it was like dating my mirror image, down to the fact that we both love Robert Caro’s books. From my observations, YGIFS is exactly like me prior to getting sober. The smartest guy in the room. I still over intellectualize everything, but at least now I realize the fallacy. The trick is finding AA mentors that you can admire and emulate, and doing what they did.
  16. I had dinner a few weeks ago with a recent Michigan grad who was on the dive team. She was telling me about all the fucked up situations and injuries that occur on the 10m platform when you miss a rotation or don’t land with your legs or hands together. She said one of her friends actually scalped herself on the edge of the dive platform.
  17. I cancelled a Barclays card and a citi Best Buy card recently, no or minimal impact. Replaced with the AA citi black card for club access. Thinking of cancelling a discover that I use for exactly one $24.95 recurring charge. And I have a basic BOA card I haven’t used in years, thinking about eliminating that one as well. So right now I’ve got 7 open cards: BOA cash back card (hardly ever used) BOA random card (never used) Discover (aforementioned) Bonvoy chase (for Marriott spend, lifetime platinum) Amazon chase (hardly used, as I have the Amazon synchrony for 5% point rebate) Southwest chase (hardly used as I’m 90% AA flyer) AA executive world elite MC from citi (all daily purchases, for airline status.) Just checked and I’m still 850. I think I may deep six one BOA card and the discover. Is it worth it to get an Amex for AA points?
  18. But never has five
  19. The sandbags holding the teleprompter in place jumped up and but him on the ankle.
  20. Didn't he run the parking lot tram?
  21. How did you target them? Flipping next to channel boys?
  22. To Appalachian State, no less.
  23. Why am I suddenly craving Tong’s Thai on the old Austin Highway near Ft. Sam? Hoping his next duty station will be SA. I really miss living there.
  24. Wow. Better wash your hands after you're done holding your dick, Lt. Dan.
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