Jump to content

Charles DeMar

Legacy Members
  • Posts

    79
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by Charles DeMar

  1. SIAP https://bleacherreport.com/articles/2851972-from-osu-castoff-to-sec-difference-maker-qb-joe-burrow-sets-a-new-tone-for-lsu RE: Joe Burrow: ..."The toughest guy in college football..." Guy who plays the same position for the good guys might have issue with that.
  2. From the "shithole" that is Houston, TX. FIGHT!
  3. Vato smiling and even saved the "maitre d'" table. Dude was chill and in control.
  4. Don't they all look the same?
  5. My first meeting was a whirlwind. "What are all these people talking about? I didn't do that crazy shit. I'm not as big a drunk as them. Why are they all laughing at this poor sot's problems?" It may take a few meetings, in different places with different crowds, to see that you could share more similarities with everyone else in that room than you thought when you went in. Good on you, Shady, and I've found that the more I go, the more I understand about the challenges everybody in those rooms had, just like me, and was covered up by alcohol, not solved by it. Keep going and keep posting. CDM
  6. Celebrated one year on Saturday. Amazing the support I've gotten both inside and outside the program. Happy, Joyous, Free is a daily challenge, but I'm attacking it without the former "solution" at the bottom of the bottle. I'm grateful to all y'all on this board, and all those who came before me and have offered their experience so that I might learn from that and apply it to myself. CDM
  7. There was more of a horrible, downward spiral lead up than described, but, yeah, never missed work from drinking before, never wrecked my car, never never never, but definitely went out with a bang. Balancing the somber mood of remembering how low I was vs. the "happy, joyous, and free" of knowing I do not have to go there again and have power through the "we stay sober" mantra. I definitely was operating as an "I" and completely isolating myself in so many ways. I'm naturally a stand off and observe kind of guy (as evidenced by about 10 years of lurking on TOS and the surl until this thread got me in here), but challenging myself to share more and pass on what was freely given to me. Thanks to all for all you do.
  8. Thanks, Swandered. That describes me to a "T." A bit of a "drunkalogue" as I'm reflective upon my time one year ago, leading up to the beginning of my first ever attempt at sobriety: One year ago today, my wife / kids / dog left town for a few days. Leading up to that time, for the past several months, I had been subjected to "controlled, monitored" drinking by the wife which was only controlled as far as she could see, and monitored when we were in the room together. I had a pretty tame night the first night she was gone; drank NEARLY a handle of tequila, ate fried chicken, and watched a couple of episodes of Tom Hanks' "The Pacific," which I'd never seen before. "Pretty tame." The next morning, since I had more to drink than I had in a while, I felt pretty crappy, and before a meeting with some potential sellers at a property for my side gig, I had a few more chugs to get the day going. By the end of that property walk-around, I could barely walk or talk, let alone offer anything sagely to the realtors. I somehow made it to my car without falling down, but it was obvious I was drunk. I commenced to back into a parking bollard and wreck my car, then drove home, probably with a stop at Spec's on the way. The rest of the day was a blackout. I skipped work, drank, slept, and who knows what. That night, I remember being in my car, parked in front of my driveway gate, but without my keys. I then couldn't remember the gate code, so I climbed the fence, tore myself up pretty good, then tried to break into my own house. No telling how long this went on, but I remember waking with the sun the next morning, covered in mosquito bites, and remembered the gate code. Found my keys in the passenger seat of my car, went inside, and proceeded to get ready for work, which I would skip for two more days. Thankfully, a moment of "God," when on day 4, two friends came to pick me up, asked me if I was drunk, and I admitted a problem. After several days, two ER visits, a tried and failed sober living house situation, and a completely destroyed 13th birthday party for my son, I was in IOP and back to work, and began this sober journey of self-reflection and spirituality. I'm thinking a lot about that dark void I was in. I think a lot about the "not good enough-ness" I've led myself to believe in for years. I have been thinking a lot about that lost week, where I went, what I did, and how I survived. I'm very blessed to be sober today, a few days short of a year, and thankful for all those who came before me, in rooms, in this forum, and everywhere else. I have today, and although I could be beating myself up, I'm thankful to be here instead of there. TL:DR - anniversary of going completely insane and thankful to be sober today.
  9. We took the kiddos to Disneyland last summer. I was shocked how many "tough, thugg-eque" dudes were out there repping their Disney love via intricate skin art. Like, Raiders T-shirt fan likely to throw down at the drop of a hat, but Anna and Elsa (princesses) all up and down his calf. Was strange to me. Somehow I felt like they were not as thuggish as first glance and I could beat up the old lady in the cart who was with them and be ready for jail that night.
  10. Craziest ending during my 4 years at the 40. Everyone was going absolutely bonkers. Fun times.
  11. That's a lot of TD's from all over the field. DENTON, BABY!!!
  12. http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/revolting/florida-dismemberment-275903 Ouch!
  13. That Dick van Dyke video was awesome. Thanks for posting. 11 months today, fellas. Blessed to be sober TODAY. Thanks, CDM
  14. Lovers' quarrel. "When I talk to you you talk to me back!!!!"
  15. I went to the "DardeN Grad School of Business" at UVA. First day of school, a Japanese exchange kid showed up in his Audi with the vanity plate of "DardeM." Crose.
  16. Really, really good back and forth on here the last few days. Thank you all for open, honest shares. CDM
  17. In Downtown Austin over the weekend for first time in years. No news flash, but damn, I was shocked by how many there were. Wife and I walked a bit and got cut off on the sidewalk no fewer than three times. One "gentleman" sort of scoffed as we were trying to cross the street and my wife was walking down the little handicap ramp into the crosswalk, like he was in HER way. Dick. Anyways, add another "old" to the "f the scooters, man" camp.
  18. Hey, sorry to be late to the convo, but Diablo, sorry for your loss. Also amazing that it may help your cousin. God of my understanding works in mysterious ways that I cannot begin to understand. Love this thread and thanks to all for the wisdom. Had a check in with a non-sponsor mentor today who gave me some stern direction. Old me would have been "Fuck you, dude. You don't know me!" but new program has me thankful for the willingness for him to be open, honest, and challenging. Thanks again to all. CDM
  19. Grew up in Denton when they changed from NTSU. Friend's dad was on board of regents, or something, and there was a serious, prolonged discussion about changing radio station from KNTU call-sign to KUNT. Somebody wised up, eventually, just not the coffee mug marketers.
  20. Thanks to all for the comments. Friend reached out to other guy and basically said "we're done until you're going to be truthful." Thanks again, CdM
  21. Awesome. Thanks, ST. CdM
  22. That's awesome, M.A.C.! Congrats and "keep on keepin' on," as they say. I'm an alcoholic contributor here, occasionally, but as an 8.5 month sober guy, I am new to how to serve other alcoholics. People are seemingly coming out of the woodwork all of the sudden, as I'm an "expert" now. I'm not. I'd like to seek some "crosstalk" about helping someone in need. Good friend is one of a handful I've trusted at work with my recovery journey. He reached out the other day to ask what I thought he should do about a friend "about to lose it all due to his alcoholism." Last night, my friend helped the wife of the "unconvinced" alcoholic move out after yet another boundary had been smashed through (drinking, lying about it, drinking in the house, lying about it, too). The delusional alcoholic went to a very short rehab stint about a month ago, but had relapsed and we all know he's going in deeper. Anyways, to my question - the work friend keeps saying he feels like throttling the drunk and "trying to make him wake up about all he's about to lose." In addition to wife moving out (and a side note, wife is REALLY bought in that if the guy will seek help, she'll support him all the way - she wants to stay married), he's had several others say they're going to end the relationship if he doesn't stick with getting help. I have said something along the lines of "the guy is not going to change unless he has a heart replacement - he has to want to change. Nothing you can say is going to change him until he is ready to change, and if he's not going to change, he COULD lose it all, including his own life one way or another. I get that you want to 'make him see," and I am not discouraging you from doing so if it makes you feel like you've done 'all you can,' but at some point, you are going to have to move on since it's this guy's decision to do something about it or not!" That "feels" right, but ... I seek counsel from others with more experience. Thanks to all.
  23. ...and, we're back! http://thesmokinggun.com/documents/stupid/no-clothes-trio-290765
×
×
  • Create New...